Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

It was a busy day for the The Fox “News” Spin Cycle because it was the day AFTER Todd Akins (Republican Idiot) said that women who have been “legitimately raped” won’t get pregnant because they have internal lasers that shoot down the offending sperm, or something like that. 

I didn’t quite understand it all, but he was quoting learned doctors, not to mention the fact that Akin’s on the House of Representatives Science Committee, so he must know what he’s talking about. Consequently, Fox “News” was spinning FURIOUSLY in order to get their brain dead viewers not to think about lady parts and internal lasers. It was just another adventure in Bizarro World, so let’s take a look, shall we?

Since Fox “News” can’t have that thought hanging out there, they have to denigrate this Democratic Senator.

Remember in the last presidential election how VP Biden called Giuliani “a noun and a verb and 9/11”? This is payback.

That’s the debate I’m waiting for. I suspect the POTUS will trounce Mendacious Mitt, who will have to lie his way through it.

Of course Gibbs is 100% right. Trump is clearly Right Wing and has even promoted Birtherism to Wretched Gretched on one of his previous Monday morning phone-ins.

Now Brian Kilmeade is messaging for Wretched Gretched? Of course their agenda is political. They’re connected to both the GOP and Birtherism.

Fox and Friends First send out a lot of cheesecake pics. Here’s one.

Fox and Friends First ask a lot of stupid questions. Here’s one.

This is what passes for Fox “News” viewer porn. More cheesecake.

You just knew this was going to get a lot of play on Fox “News,” and it was front and center all day.

Not only promoting Fox and Friends, but Kilmeade and Friends, the Brian Kilmeade lie-a-thon on radio.

WAIT!!! WHAT??? This has nothing to do with politics. How did that get in there?

You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you Loofah Lad?

TWEET!!! Dog whistle!!! TWEET!!!

Will they ever have Eric Boehlert on to defend himself? Oh, wait! What the hell was I thinking?

America needs to remember whatever Fox “News” and Karl Rove tells it to remember, as they just make shit up.

See how Fox “News” wants to change the narrative, since the last one didn’t work so well?

A two-fer: Rudy “Noun Verb 911” Giuliani gets to attack VP Biden *AND* allege media bias in case that doesn’t work

An unsourced series of allegations and quotes. Perfect for Fox “News,” which needs no facts.

What Fox “News will never tell you: Karl Rove’s American Crossroads his other SuperPAC has more money to spend on this election than almost any other single entity. If money really can buy the White House, Rove could get his old job back.

Chains? Jobs? Tell us again how you didn’t really sexually harass those women, Herman.

Therefore, Fox “News” has to go on the attack all over again and promote the SEALS’ specious speculation.

Because it wasn’t his ad and the Right Wing totally distorted the message, just like it did with “You didn’t build that” and “We tried our way and it worked.”

This was before Fox “News” came out in favour of Akin dropping out of the race.

KKKarl Rove is hoping and praying that money will buy an election. In fact, he’s counting on it. What he won’t tell you in his appearances on Fox “News” is how much he’s spending to influence the election.

More about campaign money. Anything to try and damage the Obama brand.

Is Sarah still a Fox “News” personality? Todd Palin is in this show (on another network) that she’s promoting.

There it is, folks. Episode Five done come and gone. I already have enough saved up for Episodes Six and Seven. I may have to start on them right away.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Having been incredibly busy the last few days, I’ve not been able to monitor the Fox “News” SPIN Cycle as much as I would have liked. However, that doesn’t mean the Fox “News” SPIN has been any less furious and, even though I have only been half-paying attention, I still have a fuller plate of Fox “News” nonsense than I did in Episode One, or Episode Two, or Episode Three of this ongoing series. 

It falls down into several categories: It’s either designed to denigrate this administration; WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan distortion, lies, or flubs; promote the Romney-Ryan ticket as the best thing since McCain-Palin; denigrate people not like them; or just distract from the problems of the day.

So, let’s dip our toe back into Bizarro World and see where that takes us.

Jesse Watters is used as comic relief these days  on Fox “News,” but started out as the Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly ambush interview guy, asking people when they stopped beating their wife, or some such nonsense, while they’re on vacation, or in their driveway. However, now he’s comic releif and just not funny. The current MO: He goes out with a camera and does “man on the street” interviews, which are then edited together to make people look stupid. Here he plays Goodwill Ambassador with visiters to ‘Merka and, in the end, makes them look foolish by their lack of deep knowledge about ‘Merkin politics. Why should they know about ‘Merkin politics, other than to know how they get screwed by what happens here?

Because softball interviews are not enough, Greta moves into the field of hagiography. Remember how she kept bringing Sarah Palin on the air hoping she could get people to like a Mama Grizzly?

All you need to know is the source is Breitbart. Lying to the world is known as “Doing a Breitbart”and believing a Breitbart lie is called “Swallowing an ACORN.”

OH NOES! A protester gets out of hand. Nothing like those Tea Party protests, where Congressional Representatives were spit upon and called horrible names. “Doing the Breitbart,” when Andrew was still alive, was to say because it wasn’t captured on video, it never happened. And, because we can deceptively edit a video, it’s the absolute truth because, LOOK!, it’s on video.

Another promotion of Van Susterin’s hagiography, because it can’t be pushed enough.

Paul Ryan at (in?) The Villages. Fox “News” will carry the whole thing live, but rarely do they cover a speech by the President of the United States beyond the first few minutes.

A gag reel of VP Biden flubs. I’ve never seen a gag reel of, as just one example, George W. Bush’s flubs, who was well-known for malapropisms and he even flubbed ‘Merka right into an illegal war.

Paul Ryan has mommy issues, or he will when she figures out what his policies will do for the aged. However, they got tons of money, so whatever Ryan proposes wouldn’t affect her at all. Never mind.

But, of course, Mediaite has a very different take, otherwise Fox “News” never would have promoted this article.

“Doing the Breitbart” is also a dance and when the tunes starts playing some people start kicking up their feet to dance along.

Fox “News” Sunday does a lot of these “polls.” While Chris Wallace always makes a point to say on air that the polls are not scientific (and there would be a shit storm if he didn’t) the low-information Fox “News” viewer still takes the polls as gospel, especially when the results are so one-sided, like above. Yet, the respondents are already preselected because they are all Fox “News” viewers. Their only knowledge of the issue being polled has been the steady drip, drip, drip of what Fox “News” has told them. It’s like asking McDonald’s employees whether they prefer a Big Mac or KFC chicken.

Haw, haw, haw!!! A big picture of a big fish just proves who’s really floundering. Don’t tale the bait.

What you’ll never hear on Fox “News” is that the Navy Seals are lying and connected to Birthersism and the GOP.

Karl Rove (Why isn’t he in jail?) is hoping that money will win the election. What you’ll never hear on Fox “News” is the fact that Karl Rove (No, really, why isn’t he in jail?) runs SuperPACs spending unprecedented amounts of untraceable money in this election cycle.

“QUICK! How can we lay this off on the Commander in Chief?”

Another Dr. Keith Ablow job. He not only diagnoses the VP, but then goes after the POTUS as well. Can you say “unprofessional”? I knew you could.

“QUICK! Look over there!!!”

“QUICK!!! Look over there at Ecuador.”

TWEET! Dog whistle from Weaselzippers. Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Yet polling suggests that people believe the administration’s take on Medicare. Therefore, Charlie must sew doubt.

Let’s parse this one from Shark Tank, shall we? “Desperate”? That’s a matter of opinion. “Democrats”? We don’t know that for sure. Maybe they just don’t like people who misuse their privilege. “Heckle Romney”? Oh Em Gee!!! Of course we can’t have that. Pass the smelling salts. However, when a Senator yells “You lie” during the President’s SOTU address, or a reporter heckles the Predinet while he’s making an announcement in the Rose Garden, it’s all hand on deck for Fox “News” to smooth over those rough spots.

Hannity went fishing with the former Vice President. Why aren’t both of them in jail yet? Don’t take the bait.

Right, because the best thing is to play the “false equivalency card” that both parties do it, but Democrats do it more and always have. The GOP has just been forced to respond in kind.

You won’t hear this anywhere else, as Fox “News” loves to tell its viewers. That’s because other news outlets don’t traffic in bullshit.

Let me guess: Secretary of Hair? Head of the Department of Birtherism?

Because no one has ever told Romney not to show up, or not to use their music at campaign events, right?

I’ve written elsewhere how Gretched (rhymes with wretched) mangles the English language, so we can ignore the “ger” and lack of proper punctuation. Yet, it can still be FIXED!!! Try this instead because it’s more truthful: “Start with Biden end with Seals…no time for Beckel, who will make a fool of himself anyway. Dont [sic] Miss It!!”

Former Governor John Sununu waent ballistic when he appeared on CNN and was challenged on his factually challenged talking points. So he shouted at the host, “Wear an Obama bumper sticker on your forehead when you say that.” Better to find a safe harbour on Hannity where all the softball questions will be framed in a way that allows Sununu to trash the president.

After a number of Nobel Peace Prize winners, including Reverend Desmond Tutu, denounced this show as glorifying war, Fox “News” had to come to its defense. The fact that Todd Palin is in the show is just coincidental.

But still nothing on how some of these guys are connected to Birtherism. And, they are GOP operatives, but have a great answer for that: Waving the flag: YOU! ESS!! EH!!! YOU! ESS!! EH!!! YOU! ESS!! EH!!!

Because Fox “News” can’t push this faux outrage on the misrepresentation of the “chains” comment enough.

Fox “News” will never tell you that frequent talking head Karl Rove (Why isn’t he in jail?) has a SuperPAC that is spending record amounts of money to influence this election.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Prior to Romney choosing Ryan as his VP pick GOP pundits were saying it could be worth an 11-point bounce. When the choice of Ryan didn’t move the needle, now Karl Rove (No, really, why isn’t he in jail?) wants you to believe it’s meaningless.

What a guy!!!

This was the bullshit story of the week. No sources. No confirmation. Cupcakes for everyone!!!

What a guy!!! He’s a hunk!!!

And it’s all Obama’s fault.

Hear that dog whistle? Welfare moms! One silly story in one silly place and Fox “News” elevates it to the national dialogue.

A rare Three-Fer sourced from The Daily Caller, which has proven to be in the tank for Mendacious Mitt. By repeating the story Fox “News” gets to repeat the demonstrably false claims the Navy Seals are making against President Obama, gets to attack Media Matters, and then goes after the tax exempt status of Media Matters for America. I saw them do all of this while discussing this story on air.

That’s all for today, folks. Stay tuned for our next exciting adventure in the Fox “News” Spin Cycle, that spins so fast it’ll make you dizzy.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

The Fox “News Spin Cycle is working overtime, which means I am having to work overtime just to keep up with it. You can see how scared Fox “News” is by how furious the SPIN cycle is working to WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan ticket. They must be reading the same polling I am: Their own.

Episode One of this series ran on Monday. Thirty-two hours later there was enough for Episode Two with sixteen entries. Now just 11 hours later, I have enough for Episode Three and I even culled some. If it keeps up at this rate, this could become a full time job.

But, enough about me. Let’s get to the highlights lowlights: It’s all dog whistles, lies, and general weirdness.

Dog whistle: The First Lady had some things to say about Affirmative Action on campus way back then. TWEET!

Bully Boy Bolling’s testosterone-fueled Faux Outrage Machine. Man up? Fox “News” has the franchise on Faux Outrage and soon it will be offering a Buy One, Get One sale. I recommend waiting for the deep discount.

Dog Whistle: Immigrants!!! Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! TWEET!

While we all need to condemn violence, this story is a rare-two-fer for Fox “News.” It has Chick-fil-A and a gunman shooting at Conservatives, aka the Family Research Council, which “some people say” is just comprised of intolerant assholes. Immediately Fox “News” jumped into action: Megyn Kelly called this a case of Domestic Terrorism. Yet when a mad gunman shot and killed several people at a Sikh Temple in Colorado, Megyn Kelly hosted Judge Andrew Napolitano who said that shooting WAS NOT Domestic Terrorism. However, he insisted the Fort Hood shooting WAS. Consistency has never been a strong suit of Fox “News” or Libertarian Judge Nap.

Would you be surprised that this was a total distortion of what was said? Me neither.

Remember: It’s only swiftboating if it’s not true. This is swiftboating at its finest.

Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly just had to get into the act.

Why wouldn’t he defend his VP from the Faux Outrage Machine?

Mama Grizzly just had to get in on the act. “Some people say” perpetual victim Sarah Palin invented the Faux Outrage Machine. Patent Pending.

This is the softball interview with Brit Hume, when Pakul Ryan threw Ayn Rand under the bus. He was for her before he was against her. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Ryan without A-Y-N.

More testosterone, trying to make it appear as if Romney actually has some balls. Look at all those CAPITAL LETTERS! It must be true!

Hannity sent out many promotions for his friendly, softball radio interview with Paul Ryan…

…and he gets Ryan to go to the Faux Outrage Machine. Who’s desperate? If this was your big take-away from the interview, Hannity? It must have been dull as hell.

He’s not only buff, but he’s a rainmaker too. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Romney without M-O-N-E-Y.

Another promotion for his softball interview with Brit Hume. I flunked Chemistry.

Wait!!! What??? How did this accurate assessment get loose? Ahhh, I see now. It’s “sad” that women hate the GOP, who want to put a meter on their vaginas. Got it!

I don’t know what to make of this one. Of course it’s a way to slam a Democrat, who had once called herself Bisexual, but now identifies as Pansexual. But, brunette??? What do they have against brunettes? Oh wait! It’s Fox “News” where being blonde almost seems to be a job requirement.

It’s not that difficult for SOME people to prove who they are. This ruloing, unless it’s overturned, is going to create chaos on election day, which is probably what the GOP wants.

You don’t hear much about these Koch suckers on Fox “News.” Here Fox “News” outsourced the job to Newsmax.

And that, dear readers, is Episode Three of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. If the pace keeps up as it has been, Episode Four will be ready as soon as you finish reading Episode Three.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Who knew that when I posted Episode One of the The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, there would be enough material for a new episode
just 32 hours later? And, I’m not even searching for these gems. I just
collect them as they hit my facebook feed. 

However,
that’s an indication of how hard the Fox “News” Spin Cycle is working,
having ratcheted itself into overdrive in order to WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan ticket. 

Today’s
Silliest Thing In The World™ is the new faux outrage on the Right: Vice
President Joe Biden mentioned CHAINS and the Faux Outrage Machine
assumes he was talking about slavery. Now apologies are being demanded
and people on my facebook feed want to argue the point with me. 

IRONY ALERT: Bully Boy Bolling wondering about “journalistic integrity”vs “media bias

While it’s not true, of course, it’s still better than letting the auto industry go bankrupt

The context? VP Biden said that Romney wants to UNCHAIN Wall Street. But any mention of chains automatically refers to slavery, right?

Bully Boy Bolling certainly knows “media bias” since it’s all he does. Hey, Eric? Fox “News” is the mainstream media.

I think Bully Boy Bolling is obsessing. Thin skin much?

This is my favourite: Bully Boy Bolling mistook Mediaite’s accurate reporting on what The Five said as support for what The Five said. That’s just sad.

Already laying the groundwork to say the debate moderators are in the tank for President Obama.

Maddow gave as good as she got, when Lowry actually let her talk, but he just kept yelling “Can you answer?”

OMG!!! He praised bipartisanship!!!

Romney guy blows his gasket and Fox Nation thinks that’s “crushing” the anchor.

Oddly enough nothings is said about “Romney Man” blowing the talking points.

Oh! Stop!! My!!! Sides!!!!

Backhanded criticism: Mittens Romney does use a telepromter, as does ever “news” personality on Fox.

Backhanded criticism: Romney was boring before he met Ryan.

Hoo boy!!!

The Obama Camp knows that Romney couldn’t draw that crowd by himself. More backhanded criticism.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

For the last little while I have been collecting some of the propaganda sent out by Fox “News” over its facebook feeds. The Fox “News” Spin Cycle™ has been on overdrive lately in its attempt to WHITEwash Mittens Romney. It’s as if they live in an alternate reality. Oh, wait, they do!!! It’s as if we have all landed in Bizarro World, which is where all Fox “News” viewers live; an alternate reality where facts are meaningless and belief in the fear-mongering bullshit they are fed. Clearly they live by the Bizarro Code. Here are just a few of the most egregious and/or funny, depending on your point of view:

Once Harry Reid started asking for Mitten’s tax returns, he was ripe for a Fox “News” attack.

Angry BLACK man, be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

When Mitten not releasing his tax returns became the issue, it was time to attack Jay Carney.

Did you know that when they opened Al Capone’s vault, they found President Obama?

Bully Boy Bolling sends out a lot of crap. All he need do is squeeze his head.

Not mentioned: He laid his chicken feed in front of two lesbians and made remarks that made them both uncomfortable.

This from the so-called “news” network that invented mind-numbing claims.

Of course he wasn’t by any stretch of the imagination, but you gotta love the imagery.

As opposed to the Mittens Romney plan, which is to repeal Obamacare on Day One so no one has it.

Bernie Goldberg is Bill “Falafel King” O’Reilly’s go-to guy for attacking the so-called left-wing media, which is another demonstrably false lie.

This is, of course, a total distortion of what was said. The President mentioned it in passing and didn’t complain about it. Angry BLACK man? Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

If anyone knows lies, it’s Fox “News” because this is another lie. Yet, somehow they never seem to cover the lies that come out of Mendacious Mitt’s own mouth.

No one has held Big Banks feet to the fire like this administration and it ain’t over yet.

Fox “News” started the “You didn’t build that” lie with deceptively edited video. Mendacious Mitt was happy to run with it and is still using this demonstrably false meme.

And why would they? The “killing woman” lie is a deliberately misleading reading of the advert and the question is based on this false framing.

Playing to its Hate Homos crowd, Fox “News” continues its Chicken Shit cultural war.

Stay tuned for more reports from Bizarro World the Fox “News” Spin Cycle™. As we get closer to the election, the lies will be coming fast and furious.