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About Headly Westerfield

Calling himself “A liberally progressive, sarcastically cynical, iconoclastic polymath,” Headly Westerfield has been a professional writer all his adult life. View all posts by Headly Westerfield →

Unpacking The Aunty Em Ericann Blog ► A Writer’s Rant

February 4, 2013Coconut Grove Politics, E.W.F. Stirrup, E.W.F. Stirrup House, Trolleygate, Unpacking the Aunty Em Ericann Blog, Unpacking The WriterHeadly Westerfield

Having been a professional writer for my entire adult life, I have come to the conclusion that Bill Gates ruined my trade.

Writing has always been something I did for as long as I can remember. If I wasn’t being paid to write, I was writing something for which one day I hoped to be paid. If neither, I was journaling, trying to capture smoke with my pen and ink hieroglyphics that often only I could decipher.

It was back at Sheridan College in the early ’70s that I got my first taste of writing to a deadline. I also learned how to publish on deadline, when I became the editor of “A” Student Magazine, working with an entire staff of writers and graphic designers to get issues out on time.

I was taking Media Arts and always assumed I would go into tee vee, or movies. Writing for the college paper was just for fun. So was being a DJ at Radio Sheridan, the ‘underground’ radio station that myself and several others had built from scratch a few years before. When I graduated, I became the first full-time paid manager for Radio Sheridan, which had been floundering after a series of part-time, student volunteer Station Managers almost drove the station into the ground.

Writing about music. What could be more fun?

During this period I started my first freelance writing/editing career. [There have been several.] First came ZoundZ Magazine, a small Rock and Roll handout placed at record store cash registers all over Toronto. Marty Herzog was my business partner and managing editor for a couple of years, for a couple of publications, as far back as “A” Student Magazine. ZoundZ [the second “z” was backwards] led to being asked to edit Cheap Thrills by Concert Productions International. It had promised a publication as part of its Cheap Thrills membership, a VIP line for ordering concert tickets. However a Cheap Thrills publication had never been produced and they were getting flack.

I was 100% against the idea. I loved the idea of having our own publication, without adult supervision. ZoundZ was starting generate income. We were being forced to consider more pages and a larger print run to justify the advertising we were getting from some of the “majors.” However, I didn’t have the headaches Marty did. He had been fronting all the money to have ZoundZ published. Aside from this, he did all the running around to printers and vendors, and sold all the advertising. Marty decided to ‘sell out’ to Michael Cohl and CPI (which really only solved his money headache) and I went along for the ride. [See my previous post on Ivor Wynne Stadium] For the first time in our loose partnership I was suddenly an employee. When Marty started ordering up good reviews of certain records because that’s what he promised the record company, I took a hike. My opinion was never for sale. I went back to freelancing. Marty went on to work for the record company to which he promised good reviews.

Over the years I have done every kind of writing there is, except the greeting card. I’ve crafted Hollywood puff pieces and gritty Rock and Roll profiles; written for Canadian music trade papers and various record companies; created artist bios, as well as reviewed concerts and records; practiced investigative and political journalism; did an entire decade as a tee vee news writer, where I called myself a ventriliquist; and, using the nom de plume Travis Bickel, wrote a regular column for Taxi News, while I drove cab and continued to sharpen my free lance Word-0-Matic Machine.

One of the supreme ironies is that I also wrote the first column in Canada which explored the nascent World Wide Web, still being called The Information Superhighway. I sucessfully pitched the editor of “We Computes,” a publication about hardware, the idea of monthly consumer-style column on those funny “http” things that had started to crop up everywhere you looked. At first Eric was baffled because even he didn’t know what an URL was and what it did. However, in the end, he took a monthly column for a couple of years, until a guide for navigating the World Wide Web seemed superfluous.

This is the same period when Bill Gates was turning the Information Superhighway into a point-and-click dealie. In the days of 300 baud modems and BBSs, one needed to know EXACTLY what to type on the C: prompt to get the computer to do anything whatsoever. Before Bill Gates made it easy, one needed to know programs like PINE and understand how to navigate USENET. Then came the mouse and GUIs and everything changed.

Suddenly HTML ruled and everybody and their brother thought they were a writer, which totally devalued the craft. Everywhere I go (on the innertubes) from the smallest sites to the largest, I see poorly written and poorly edited web sites. Most of these are making money hand-over-fist (whatever the hell that cliche means). Meanwhile, I’ve barely figured out how to monetize this web site. [I continue to be open to suggestions.] If I were being paid by the hour for these words, I’d starve. The irony is that I should have seen this coming and found a way to cash in.

That’s why every once in a while I write one of these Unpacking The Aunty Em Ericann Blog posts, which my regular readers recognize as my way of urging them to click on one of the adverts. They know it doesn’t cost a cent, but will put a few — and I do mean few — cents in my pocket. Go ahead. It won’t hurt at all.

Now, don’t you feel better? Meanwhile, let’s break down the Top Ten Posts for the last 30 days, pulling back the curtain:

A moment on this blog frozen in time.

My post on the Detroit Riots has exploded. While it’s #1 for the month at 488 hits, it’s managed to climb to #3 on the All Time Top Posts with 916 views. That means most of the growth came in the past month for reasons that totally elude me. I’m grateful, because it’s one of the posts I’m most proud of.

The next 3 posts are all interrelated. I’ve been researching Coconut Grove, more specifically E.W.F. Stirrup, for several years now. The #2 post contains the latest research and celebrates Coconut Grove’s birthday. During my research into West Grove, someone in the neighbourhood alerted me to a controversy that was already being called Trolleygate. An Introduction to Trolleygate and The Trolleygate Dog and Pony Show are my first two investigative pieces on Trolleygate, a scandal that’s sure to keep on giving.

The rest of the Top Ten is filled with Fox News Snark, but sneaking into the pack at #7 is my post on Josephine Baker, another one I’m proud of. It also seems to be a favourite of my readers because it clocks in as #2 on the All Time Top Posts list with, 1,235 clicks.

So, there you have it. If you got this far, you owe me. Click on an advert or you’ll never be able to look at yourself in the mirror without feeling a pang of guilt. Seriously.

The Trolleygate Dog And Pony Show

February 1, 2013Astor Development, Coconut Grove Politics, Coconut Grove Village Council, Coral Gables, Marc D. Sarnoff, Miami, Pierre Sand, Renata Samuels-Dixon, Trolleygate, Village West Homeowners and Tenants AssociationHeadly Westerfield

Miami once loved Coconut Grove enough to place its City Hall
there. Now it puts Coral Gables’ diesel bus garage there.

Troll eygate was the topic of a heated Town Hall meeting at Miami City Hall last night, pitting David against several Goliaths. In this corner the citizens of West Coconut Grove. And in that corner, the cities of
Miami and Coral Gables and Astor Development. It’s a grudge match with a lot of history.

Representing the City of Miami was District 2 Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff, whose district covers Coconut Grove. “Some people say” Sarnoff only represents developers and the rich White folk, while the concerns of Black West Grove residents come last. Mr. Sarnoff was buttressed last night by a phalanx of City of Miami government lackeys, a fancy slide presentation, and, at least, one hired gun.

Coral Gables sent a lawyer. Astor Development went unrepresented. West Grove residents came out in force, filling the chamber with standing room only in the back. This blog was represented by me.

“Ready for my close up.”
Before the meeting starts, Marc D. Sarnoff poses for a reporter.

Marc Sarnoff — who once falsely claimed a heritage with General David Sarnoff (who is actually a relative of mine) before he was forced to admit he made it all up — took the wind out of most sails as he started the meeting. He advised the residents that because a law suit had been filed that afternoon by West Grove residents to stop the diesel bus maintenance garage, there were two subjects the city (himself) could not address on the advice of city lawyers: the issues of zoning and that of notification.

On this, Sarnoff was as good as his word. However, while he never discussed zoning and notification, the assembled residents and lawyers couldn’t get enough of those two topics when it came their turn. But first, it was time for the Dog and Pony Show.

Sarnoff introduced Tim Ogle (SP?) an environmental engineer with Stantec, a company hired by Miami to put on a yadda, yadda, yadda slide presentation that said, essentially, having diesel buses running through the neighbourhood was no worse than licking ice cream, or something. Quite frankly the MEGO factor [My Eyes Glaze Over] set in pretty quickly. I looked around the room and, while people were polite, they appeared skeptical, especially after it was determined that Stantec had been hired by the City of Miami for this very presentation.

I couldn’t help but think that I was watching a presentation normally
given to residents when a project is still on the drawing board, not
when it is already a fait accompli and residents are trying to get it
stopped. However, to be fair, Miami got its money worth. It was a very good presentation and throwing good money after bad to save a developer’s project isn’t a crime, is it? Who knows this better than Commissioner Marc Sarnoff?

Pierre Sand making his points.

After the environmental presentation, Sarnoff opened the floor to questions and statements. First up was Pierre Sands, president of Village West Homeowners and Tenants Association. Despite Sarnoff saying people would be limited to 2 minutes, Sands was given much more than that and even allowed to rebut Sarnoff at one point.

This allowed Sarnoff to cut him off twice later, once when he tried to call bullshit on Sarnoff’s rebuttal and later when Sands wanted to address comments made about him from one of the residents who spoke. Sands made the points [paraphrasing] that the local residents get nothing out of the diesel bus maintenance garage and the City of Miami gets nothing out of it, but it’s clear what the city of Coral Gables gets out of it: It gets rid of a diesel bus maintenance garage and gets a multimillion dollar development. The unasked question hanging in the air was, “What does Marc D. Sarnoff get out of it?” but Sands didn’t go there. Sands closed by expressing extreme disappointment in how Sarnoff has ignored the West Grove since taking office, insisting that Coral Gables’ diesel bus maintenance garage be located “in the City Beautiful,” another name for Coral Gables. He ended on a round of applause.

Sarnoff is a clever man. He anticipated every single one of Sand’s points and was able to rebut them with his own Dog and Pony Show slide show presentation, which had already been prepared. First Sarnoff claimed there was no way he could have stopped the project. Astor Development bought the land fair and square and the building met all city requirements. Once Sarnoff realized the developer had the right to go ahead, he was able to get $200,000 to fix up a football field at Armbrister Park. Sarnoff claimed the developer did this out of the goodness of his heart because he didn’t have to do anything for the community. Sarnoff’s slide show included facts and figures about the football field. As for Sand’s contention that Sarnoff has done nothing for the community, he showed slides of happy builders and residents saying they have, or will be, building up to 80 homes in the area.

Sarnoff’s unspoken message seemed to be, “Screw with this bus garage and not only do you lose these improvements to the football field, but also your biggest champion at city hall to improve the neighbourhood.” This seemed to be a shot across the bow of the Coconut Grove Collaborative Development Corporation, which has several projects on the drawing board that will need to get City Hall approval.

Some of the back-and-forth between Pierre Sands and Marc D. Sarnoff, discussing the football field at Armbrister Park:

None of this mollified the residents, who had a litany of objections that hardly touched on diesel fumes and football fields. For West Grove residents it was all about the subjects Sarnoff wasn’t allowed to address: zoning and notification of residents. Two members of the Coconut Grove Village Council said they felt blindsided when the heard the garage was already being built and neighbourhood residents said Sarnoff just did an end run around them after they stated their objections. According to Jenny Staletovich of the Miami Herald, Sarnoff claimed:

“This particular developer, his wife is very charitable. He’s very charitable,” Sarnoff said. “They agreed to approximately a quarter million (dollars) to improve the football field.”

But residents say when he encountered opposition, Sarnoff simply moved on to another group. In April, he attended a meeting of the Coconut Grove Ministerial Alliance and, in October, a gathering of football coaches at Armbrister Park, according to those in attendance.

“He wanted us to say it was a good project and we were behind it, considering they were going to renovate the playing facility,” said Rondy Powell, a coach at the park for 20 years. “I kind of figured when they came, it was kind of like a back-room deal.”

A spokesman for the Ministerial Alliance said the group neither approved nor objected, but did vote to have UM look at environmental hazards.

Sarnoff said he never brought it to the Grove’s elected body, the Coconut Grove Village Council, which was created in 1991 to give residents a voice at City Hall. “I would rather go directly to the community,” he said. “I don’t think the Village Council is very good at dealing with that type of issue.”

However, one of the contentions of most everyone who spoke last night said Sarnoff never went directly to the community with this project, merely factions within the community.

Several residents making their points about the diesel bus garage:

However, the biggest surprise, was Coral Gables’ lawyer Craig Leen [not captured], who spoke the most sense all evening. He first said that he too had to be careful of what he said because Coral Gables, which is not currently party to any of the court actions, could be dragged into the lawsuit at any time. However, in a nutshell, he said Coral Gables was blindsided by the controversy. Its contract with Astor Development is for the company to locate a diesel bus garage somewhere, anywhere, provided it complies with all local laws. Coral Gables thought it was all a done deal and everyone had signed off on this diesel bus garage. Unless Astor complies with all local laws the City of Coral Gables will not take possession of the diesel bus garage, therefore it would not be able to redevelop the current diesel bus garage for its multimillion dollar development.

West Grove’s Lawyer: “Who would like a bus depot next to their house?”

The current state of the diesel bus garage as of January 31, 2013

Nothing was decided last night, but the West Grove’s lawyers are asking for an emergency injunction that all work on the diesel bus cease. Furthermore, they are asking the court to rule on 3 issues:

• Did Miami give proper notice to West Grove residents under all City of Miami ordinances?

• Does the Miami 21 code of ordinances truly allow for a lack of notification to the community, as Commissioner Sarnoff contends and, if so, is that even constitutional?

• Does the use of a diesel bus maintenance facility at that corner contravene the the Miami 21 city plan?

Coconut Grove Village Councillor Renata Samuels-Dixon sure thinks so. She found language in the Miami 21 plan that would specifically rule out a “government vehicle maintenance facility” as proper for the corner of S. Douglas Road and Frow Avenue. Since Coral Gables is a “government” under the law, and a diesel bus is defined as a “vehicle,” and the structure was defined at that very meeting as a “maintenance facility,” the case for West Grove residents looks pretty strong. However, you can never tell what will happen in court.

The only thing last night made clear is that the citizens of the West Grove, the City of Miami, the City of Coral Gables, and Astor Development are embroiled in a conflict that is going to cost money, no matter what is decided. West Grove’s lawyers are working pro bono. Miami taxpayer money is being spent to help Marc Sarnoff support another developer, this time in Coral Gables, the next town over.

Is this money well spent?

EmTV Presents: The E.W.F. Stirrup House

January 28, 2013Aries Development, Coconut Grove, Demolition By Neglect, E.W.F. Stirrup House, EmTV, Racism, Real Estate Scandal, unpacking-coconut-groveHeadly Westerfield

The E.W.F. Stirrup House in the background, as
seen from the Charles Avenue Historical Marker.
Photograph by author.

This blog is moving into the digital age today with the official launch of EmTV. See? Now I’m just like Glenn Beck.

I thought I’d test the video recorder in my new camera on the historical 120-year old E.W.F. Stirrup House. Surprised at how good it turned out, I decided to post it to my blog.

Aries Development, owned in part by Gino Falsetto, has a 50-year lease on the E.W.F. Stirrup property. Rather than take the most minimal actions to preserve the house, Falsetto is allowing the E.W.F. Stirrup House to fall into Demolition By Neglect. Since 2009, when I began writing about, researching, and documenting the E.W.F. Stirrup House, it has only gotten worse.

Miami has had a law against Demolition By Neglect. City inspectors are falling down on their jobs.

Please watch:

You can see my entire series in my Unpacking Coconut Grove Compendium.

An Introduction to Trolleygate

January 27, 2013Center for Ethics and Public Service, Coral Gables, Environmental Justice, Marc D. Sarnoff, Melissa Harris-Perry, Racism, Trolleygate, University of Miami, unpacking-coconut-grove, West GroveHeadly Westerfield

The Coral Gables “Trolley” is not. It is a bus with a diesel-powered
internal combustion engine disguised to look like a cute old-style trolley.

Anger is beginning to roil to the surface in Coconut Grove over the latest scandal involving Miami City Hall. In a nutshell: the city of Coral Gables has been allowed to plunk a polluting diesel bus garage into the middle of a West Coconut Grove residential neighbourhood attempting to rehab. While residents and businesses in Coconut Grove are used to Miami running roughshod over their interests, Troll eygate might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

This will be the first in what will no doubt be a continuing series as I peel back the layers of the onion of Trolleygate. To understand this scandal first one needs to understand some of the players:

• Coral Gables, a fully incorporated town [which calls itself a city] of about 47,000 people which abuts Miami on the western edge of Coconut Grove. Coral Gables has been called the “first planned community” in Florida, but that designation has also been disputed. Whether it was the first, or not, is immaterial to the reason for its creation. More about that later.

• Miami City Council. Control for everything that has ever happened in
Coconut Grove has resided with Miami City Council since annexation in 1925.

• Coconut Grove Village Council. The Coconut Grove Village Council has no power whatsoever to do anything anywhere, except to pass along recommendations to the City of Miami, which then appears to promptly ignore them.

Ironically at one time there was a real Coral Gables Trolley.
This pic is of the Colonnade Building and Coral Gables
Trolley, mid 1920′s. State of Florida Archives.

• The Coral Gables “Trolley.” The word “trolly” is a misnomer. A trolly is defined as:

1. a trolley car. 2. a pulley or truck traveling on an overhead track and serving to support and move a suspended object. 3. a grooved metallic wheel or pulley carried on the end of a pole (trolley pole) by an electric car or locomotive, and held in contact with an overhead conductor, usually a suspended wire (trolley wire) from which it collects the current for the propulsion of the car or locomotive. 4. any of various devices for collecting current for such a purpose, as a pantograph, or a bowlike structure (bow trolley) sliding along an overhead wire, or a device (underground trolley) for taking current from the underground wire or conductor used by some electric railways. 5. a small truck or car operated on a track, as in a mine or factory.

Nowhere in that definition is there room for a bus with rubber tires and a diesel-powered internal combustion engine freely running on roads, not rails. That’s what the Coral Gables “Trolley” really is. Forget the word “trolley.” This is Trolleygate.

• Marc D. Sarnoff is a Coconut Grove resident, the City of Miami Commissioner for District 2, Vice-Chairman of the City of Miami Commission (which sounds so much fancier than city council) and uncrowned (and never publicly declared) Emperor of Coconut Grove. It has been said that Marc D. Sarnoff never met a developer he didn’t like (to side with and support above the wishes of the local community).

• Always last and always least: The West Grove, aka Black Coconut Grove. As much as Coconut Grove is used to being ignored by Miami City Hall — which ironically is in Coconut Grove — Black Coconut Grove is used to being ignored by everybody.

The long-abandoned Coconut Grove Playhouse.
Pic by author.

Black Coconut Grove owes its continued existence due to the foresight of E.W.F. Stirrup [a story told elsewhere on this blog at length, so I won’t go into it here]. It was his vision that gave Coconut Grove the highest Black home ownership in the country. That high percentage of Black home ownership is what prevented the city from razing the entire neighbourhood in the 1950s because unlike all the surrounding residential areas, it didn’t have internal plumbing or sewer connections. Way back in 1919, in the wake of the “Bright Plan,” the Charles Avenue neighbourhood was almost lost as well. The entire area was to be turned into a golf course. Several factors — the depression, annexation, hurricanes and the high degree of Black home ownership — put a stop to all that. However, the Bright Plan was based on a Mediterranean-style of architecture. Before the Bright Plan had been abandoned, it brought forth the Coconut Grove Theater (later Coconut Grove Playhouse, which is a whole ‘nother scandal in itself), which is why the theater is in the Mediterranean-style. [Incidentally, E.W.F. Stirrup sold the land on which the Coconut Grove Theater was built.] However, all that to explain why there has always been a Black community in Coconut Grove strong enough to resist most efforts at urban renewal.

The Mediterranean-style of architecture also appears to have influenced George Merrick, who developed Coral Gables. The prevailing architectural style in Coral Gables is Mediterranean. In what appears to be an early example of White Flight, there is strong anecdotal evidence that the founding of Coral Gables was — in and of itself — a racial statement against Coconut Grove’s Black community. The Bahamians, and other Blacks, were fully entrenched and could not be dislodged because of the high percentage of Black home ownership. Hence one could build a Coral Gables. This has been very difficult to confirm because this is not the kind of thing that is recorded in history books.

A man who has lived on Charles Avenue for all of his 73 years told this reporter what it was like for the folks of West Grove who wandered into Coral Gables back in the old days. It wouldn’t take long before you were stopped by police and asked for your “papers.” These consisted of a letter from an employer: “George works as a handyman for our estate” or “Rose is our domestic and needs to come and go as is necessary.” [Editor’s note: invented letters.]

Redlining and racism kept Blacks out of Coral Gables ever since. To this day Coral Gables is overwhelmingly White. Coral Gables own website cites the most recent demographics almost as if they are proud of it: White population: 90.76%; Black population: 2.86%. That doesn’t happen by accident. It looks even worse when compared to Miami’s population with 18.67% Black and 74.05% White residents.

Artists rendering of the diesel bus garage currently
under construction in the West Grove. Do those shutters
and that landscaping make the bus fumes go away?

What is Trolleygate?

Here’s where it gets tricky for a journalist. Recently this writer joined a few gentlemen for what I thought would be chit chat about music, which it had been the last time we were together. The mistake I made was telling these people that I wasn’t there as a journalist, so it was all off the record. I actually used those words. Who knew that it would turn into a meeting about Trolleygate? That’s where I first heard the word. Consequently, much of what I learned is off the record. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t bring you up to speed:

One recent day the residents of the West Grove woke up to find construction beginning on a diesel bus garage at Douglas and Frow in the West Grove. It turns out that Astor Development acquired the land adjacent to the current Coral Gables diesel bus garage. It made a deal with Coral Gables to knock down the garage, locating it elsewhere, and redevelop the entire site for high-end commercial and residential properties, the last place you’d want a bus garage. Coral Gables loved the idea of new development. However, Coral Gables, oddly enough says it could find no suitable land anywhere in Coral Gables for the Coral Gables diesel bus garage. Through some kind of land deal [that still needs to be explored further] the land at Douglas and Frow — in the City of Miami, no the city of Coral Gables — was purchased and construction began before anyone knew what hit them.

The neighbourhood is pissed, to put it mildly.

Article continues below the pics . . .

The current diesel bus garage. Just put some shutters on it and add some landscaping and you’re golden.

A diesel bus pretending to be a “trolley” in a real bus garage.

Current state of the new bus garage. Residents say it appears work has accelerated along with the public outcry.

It appears as if the developer is hoping this diesel bus garage is so far gone it will be a fait accompli. Some residents appear to be willing to settle for a bus stop, at the very least. Others want it torn down, as it will change the entire character of the neighbourhood and does not conform with any of Miami’s zoning by-laws.

Marc D. Sarnoff made some kind of deal with somebody because nothing can happen in Coconut Grove without the imprimatur of Emperor Sarnoff the First. Sarnoff seems to have negotiated with Astor Development and Coral Gables about this project, but no one in West Grove recalls him bringing such a non-conforming building up for public consultation. The issue of building a diesel bus garage in the West Grove appears to have been passed at a Miami City Commissioner’s meeting. However, one of my off-the-record sources, who has attended hundreds of redevelopment meetings in more than one city, says approval was faster than “a hot knife through butter.” No one can remember something like this getting through Miami City Hall so quickly, without someone in the neighbourhood being aroused to public meetings. Which was probably the point to keeping it under everyone’s radar.

Meanwhile, Black Coconut Grove gets stuck with all the negatives of a
diesel bus garage from a neighbouring city. Furthermore, while it gets
the increased traffic and pollution, the residents will not even get
what is normally a benefit of a bus garage: a bus stop. Having a bus
stop might allow Black Grove to get on the bus and ride to Merrick Park,
or Miracle Mile, or any of those other swank places, including any
multimillion dollar project by developers named Astor. It reminds me of
how Robert Moses,
who built the Long Island Expressway, purposely built all the
underpasses too low to allow for buses. That’s so the ‘great unwashed’
couldn’t go to his beaches at Fire Island and Jones Beach.

There’s
not a single positive to the deal, unless Coral Gables is paying Miami
taxes on the land, but no one is alleging that yet.

According to the Miami Herald, this has awoken a paper tiger:

The Coconut Grove Village Council on Thursday joined the chorus of opposition to a new trolley-bus fueling and maintenance garage now under construction on Douglas Road in the predominantly black West Grove.

Meanwhile, West Grove residents have lined up lawyers to fight the project, and a University of Miami law professor is asking federal authorities to assist the residents with possible civil rights issues.

Message sent out by the paper tiger, which also said it only
learned about the bus garage from media reports. Grrr.

That’s not a stretch. I viewed this as a Civil Rights issue the minute I heard about it due to my 4 years of research into Coconut Grove. And, I’m not the only one: the University of Miami’s Center for Ethics and Public Service agrees with me and issued a press release:

Professor Anthony V. Alfieri, Dean’s Distinguished Scholar, Director of the Center for Ethics and Public Service, and Founder of the Historic Black Church Program, has taken up the call with residents of West Grove to try to halt the construction of large trolley garage adjoining a single-family home residential neighborhood. Professor Alfieri, with Zachary Lipshultz, a Post-Graduate Fellow with the Environmental Justice Project, and Dr. Steven Lipshultz, a Professor of Pediatrics and the George E. Batchelor Pediatric Cardiology Endowed Chair at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, have been providing those opposing the construction with valuable legal advice and raising awareness through meetings and rallies.

In their most recent salvo in an opinion piece for The Miami Herald, they point out the public health concern caused by exposure to diesel fumes from having a 12-bay garage housing the current fleet of six Coral Gables trolley cars located in a residential neighborhood and the seeming injustice of moving the garage from its present location in an industrial area in Coral Gables into a predominantly black, low-income neighborhood in the City of Miami.

They write: “The recent protests of Coconut Grove and Coral Gables homeowners in opposition to the City of Miami’s decision to approve construction of a new Coral Gables Trolley garage in the West Grove raise important public health and environmental justice concerns. For the West Grove, a predominantly black, low-income neighborhood, the protests arise against the historical backdrop of decades-long racial discrimination, municipal neglect, and Jim Crow segregation. Indeed, during the 1960s, the City of Miami operated a noxious incinerator “Old Smokey” in the West Grove closely abutting homes and schools. Now, years after Florida courts ordered the incinerator shut down as a public nuisance, the City of Miami again seeks to impose the social costs of polluting facilities on the West Grove without any concern for the public health of the community.”

Coincidentally, today’s Melissa Harris-Perry Show was making the same point. Not about Coral Gables’ dirty buses, but in her words, “the ugly, but real link between environmental and racial justice” and what we dump “we don’t dump in our backyard we dump in somebody else’s backyard […] and those are pretty predictably disempowered communities.” It’s as if she was talking about Trollygate. Watch:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Public outcry has been such that a there is now a Stop construction of Coral Gables Trolley Garage in historic Coconut Grove petition at Change.org, which begins:

This depot will disrupt our neighborhood, lower property values, bring an industrial project into a residential area, pose a danger to our children, violate zoning codes, and undermine the healthy and prosperous development of our community.

Marc D. Sarnoff appears to be running scared. He knows he awoke a sleeping Black giant. He will never escape the accusations of Racism, but he is certainly going to try at the EMERGENCY TOWN HALL he’s called for Thursday at Miami City Hall at 5:30 P.M.

There is far more to Trolleygate than I can mention here until I get people to go on the record. However, in a last bit of synchronicity for the day: the very White city of Coral Gables is currently advertising for a Trolley [sic] Manager. I presume that Blacks are allowed to apply.

Welcome Back Coconut Grove Grapevine

January 26, 2013Coconut Grove Grapevine, Coconut Grove Playhouse, Coconut Grove Politics, E.W.F. Stirrup House, Gino Falsetto, Tom Falco, Trolley Garage, Trolleygate, unpacking-coconut-groveHeadly Westerfield

Despite my minor feud with Tom Falco, it was with great interest that I noted that he’s fired up the Coconut Grove Grapevine again. For those not paying attention, Falco wrote back in September:

I have decided to end the Grapevine, but maybe not totally end it, I don’t know yet. What I am doing is stopping daily publication for now, only because I feel that I have other things I need to do and I believe that you physically have to shut one door to have another door open. I want to immerse myself into the cartooning world and so that is what I am going to do. I plan on traveling often, my first trip is to New York for the New York Comic Con, where I can mix and mingle and pick up tricks from other cartoonists. I need to promote myself and my comic, Tomversation, full time. While I bought a 4-day pass, I was also given a press pass, so I will be covering the event for publication, maybe for the Huffington Post.

I could keep the Grapevine up and running, but not on a daily basis, but I feel that would be doing it in a half-assed way. I don’t want to do that. I have tried hiring photographers and writers but it doesn’t seem to work. So rather than run the thing into the ground, I will take this break, most likely it will be final, but I am a Gemini and I change my mind often, so maybe I’ll start it up again in a few months, we’ll see. [Editor’s note: That’s a hell of a run-on sentence, Tom.] There are almost 9000 stories here believe it or not, all done in the 7.5 years we’ve been up and running, so you can always go back into the archives and have a laugh or two if you feel like it. [And, again.]

Tomversation, Falco’s cartooning site,
is also part of his vast publishing empire.

However, 4 months later comes word that it’s all been a terrible dream and Bobby was just in the shower for the season. The other day Coconut Grove Grapevine announced:

I’m a bit rusty, but I am thinking of returning to the Grapevine. Why? I need the money. My business has been floundering, like many in this economy, I assume, and I am stopped daily, literally daily, on the street, and asked by people to come back. [Same Ed. note] I am thinking of doing so, but with some changes.

One big change — no politics. I don’t want to get back into that. I really don’t I never enjoyed that part of it and sort of got sucked in years ago and never got out. Most people who stop me on the street tell me they want news but news of what’s going on around the village, you know, what’s new? what’s coming in, what’s going out, etc. I’ll do that. I will also cover events and such, but this is going to be a money making venture now. In the past, I had ads, but 99% of those ads were not paid for.

I’ve been cheated by people, one prominent restaurant still owes me lots of money, oh wait, I said I wouldn’t go there. But most of the ads were friends or trades or things like that. I didn’t make money in the past. I honestly didn’t. Now I plan to make money. I am going to charge for coverage.

No politics? That’s really a damned shame, Tom. As I have been trying to get you to understand since we first made contact, you have (had?) a strong voice in the community and could use it for good. When you gave my blog just ONE mention, I received 122 visits from your readers. That’s still the largest referring URL to my blog (discounting my own front page). That’s a testament to the influence you have (had?).

And it’s not like there are no serious political issues to explore in Coconut Grove, Tom. Certainly the E.W.F. Stirrup House (my own pet project) is one. The Coconut Grove Playhouse is another. That Marc D. Sarnoff runs Coconut Grove like an Imperial and Imperious Emperor is another. You almost touched on politics this morning when you mentioned Emperor Marc Sarnoff’s upcoming meeting on Trolleygate. You’re really missing a trick here, Tom. Trolleygate is a scandal that’s tailor-made for a good muck-raking journalist working for the interests of ALL the people of Coconut Grove. Too bad you aren’t that guy. Hopefully, someone will come along and take up the mantle of Coconut Grove Muckraker, but it won’t be me. I am too far removed geographically from the Grove to do an adequate job, as much as I have fallen in love with the West Grove and would love to be that guy.

SPOILER ALERT: However, I will tackle Trolleygate, Tom, so stay tuned for my new series on the so-called Trolley Garage. Overall it will be about the wisdom of putting a mechanical garage for diesel buses smack dab in the middle of a residential neighbourhood that’s trying to rehab itself with several urban renewal projects — literally — on the drawing boards pending approval. It’s a story I will be able to use to prove my original thesis about Coconut Grove: That its curious development over the years, from Mariah Brown right up to today, is the result of systemic racism. Same as it ever was.

IRONY ALERT: During my previous criticism of the Coconut Grove Grapevine I accused Tom Falco of only writing about topics that would help his bottom line, such as stores in the Grove and community events with an advertising budget. I also accused him of not writing about topics that might hurt his bottom line. F’rinstance, as just one example: writing about the Coconut Grove Playhouse and/or the E.W.F. Stirrup House might anger the rapacious developer Gino Falsetto, who controls both and owns restaurants that advertise in the Coconut Grove Grapevine. Accused (by me) of not wanting to bite the hand that feeds him, Falco denied this most vociferously. However, it appears I gave him an idea. You’re welcome, Tom:

So I’ve come up with a price schedule for coverage, also for running regular, good old fashioned ads that will surround the content.

I am going to offer actual ads in the content area, you know, event flyers, then, there is a price for press releases, photos and also having me actually come out and cover an event. I feel these prices are fair. I went by the monthly circulation to see how many eyes will see the content, keeping in mind that various other publications also pick up and share my content. The Huffington Post links to the Grapevine and also the actual stories are picked up, so many eyes see these Grapevine posts from other publications, too. And keep in mind that once your name or business name is posted, it is picked up by the search engines, which gives you extra cache.

I think by now that we all know that everyone reads the Grapevine and if you want to get your event, business or party noticed, this is the place to be seen. All the other Grove publications are now gone and Community Newspapers and Neighbors stories are few and far between. By the way, you’ll notice the Herald ran a story on the new Pan Am Museum/store last week and it is running in today’s Neighbors in print. My content (your content) gets around.

So, if you want to learn about what all the cool, groovy White hipsters in The Grove are doing, read the Coconut Grove Grapevine. If you care about what’s really happening in the Grove, you may have to go elsewhere.

Welcome back, Tom. Hopefully Coconut Grove politics will get along fine without you.

Me and Pink Floyd and Ivor Wynne Stadium ► Nostalgia Ain’t What It Used To Be

January 26, 2013Concert Productions International, CPI, Hamilton, Hamilton Ti-Cats, Ivor Wynne Stadium, Nostalgia Ain't What It Used To Be, Ontario, Pink Floyd, Royal Connault HotelHeadly Westerfield

What’s left of Ivor Wynne Stadium.

It was sad to note in today’s news that Hamilton’s storied Ivor Wynne Stadium, home to the Tiger Cats, is almost no more.

People who know me well, also know I don’t follow sports. So why would a rickety football stadium bring a figurative tear to my eye? Because I have fond memories of a single day at Ivor Wynne Stadium: June 28, 1975.

Coincidentally Hamilton was the last city in Canada in which I lived before moving back to ‘Merka to help take care of Pops after my Mom died. Before I ever moved to The Hammer, I had only visited The Hammer on two previous occasions.

In the early ‘70s, when I was still in college, some bonehead in the Ontario government of Premier Bill Davis invited me to put on my award-winning slide show at a post-secondary school educational conference. Instinctively, I knew whoever chose my slideshow for the conference had never seen it; they had been suckered by the title: “Is There Any Place You’d Rather Be?” which just so happened to be the tourism slogan of Ontario. Maybe they thought my slide show was a travelogue.

Let’s just say Ontario wasn’t much impressed by my slideshow, which included naked women rolling around in broken watermelons, among other, err, interesting images. When the lights came up I was an instant pariah, especially among representatives from the Ontario government. Pleased at the reaction, which was wholly expected, I went for a walk.

The government had rented out the Royal Connaught Hotel, so Gore Park was steps away. I sat in the beauty of this downtown park years before the Gore Park Chainsaw Massacre ruined it forever. A sign outside The Palace Theatre beaconed. The Palace was an Art Deco monument to the era before Multiplex Madness had cheapened the movie-going experience. The cheaply painted sign was one no self-respecting film student could resist: AUCTION TODAY – CONTENTS FOR SALE. It was all going, as they say, to the bare walls.

I could have bought anything because there were so few bidders. However, I was a student on a tight budget, so I could afford to buy almost nothing. However, when a beautiful glass-etched, Deco exit sign came up for bids, I decided to go for it. The frantic bidding went all the way up to $10, but I managed to snag it. Snag it? I didn’t realize I was bidding on a lot of 10. While $1.00 a sign was a great deal, what the hell was I going to do with 10 exit signs?

Wait! The car I came in was already full. How the hell was I going to get 10 exit signs back to Oakville? Eventually I cadged transport for them and, over the years, I gave most away, before an ex-wife finally trashed the last two. Today I have none left.

It was only a few years later, June 28, 1975 to be exact, when I made my second expedition to Hamilton.

By then I was out of college and toiling as Editor [and chief grunt] for Cheap Thrills, the house organ for CPI, Concert Productions International, Toronto’s largest concert promoter. CPI had an exclusive lock on Maple Leaf Gardens, which is how it became the city’s biggest concert promoter. [That’s a story worth telling in detail some day.] While Cheap Thrills was filled with record reviews, interviews, and
profiles readily consumed by the average Rock and Roll fan, Cheap
Thrills was merely a cheap [no pun intended] and clever way for CPI to promote its upcoming shows.

How would you like to see this from your front porch?

Early on the morning of June 28 I arrived early at the printer and loaded up bundles of the latest issue of Cheap Thrills. I was headed to Hamilton’s to distribute Cheap Thrills to fans going to the now-fabled Pink Floyd concert at Ivor Wynne Stadium. I arrived at dawn. It took less than an hour to distribute tens of thousands of copies of Cheap Thrills at all the entrances. Although my work was finished, I was also sporting an ALL ACCESS PASS to a Pink Floyd concert. You don’t really think I was going to turn around and go home, do you?

To kill time until the show – some 8 – 9 hours away – I wandered in and out of the stadium and I explored the immediate neighbourhood. I was astounded that Ivor Wynne was plopped right in the middle of a residential area, with houses facing it on most sides. It made no sense to me to have a stadium right there.

As I waited the for the concert to begin the crowd grew from a few curious stragglers to a literal crush at the gates. I decided that the safest place, when the gates opened and the running and pushing started for the General Seating, would be outside the stadium. So, that’s where I watched the madness from. When the crowd outside had dwindled to mostly late arrivals, I looked around sadly. The mob left behind mountains of litter. Among the pop cans and other convenience store trash I was horrified to see my name on most of it. Copies of Cheap Thrills were everywhere: over lawns and flowerbeds. On porches. Blowing at the corners. Covered with footprints closer to the stadium. Everywhere one looked you could see my small contribution to Hamilton lore.

Pink Floyd at Ivor Wynne Stadium

As for the concert itself: I’m not here to review the show. However, it was the last concert on that Pink Floyd tour, so the band decided to go out with a bang. Rather than pack and transport the pyrotechnics, the roadies decided it would be best to explode it all at the Hamilton concert. The resulting explosion blew up the scoreboard and broke windows all around the neighbourhood.

After that Hamilton banned all concerts at Ivor Wynne Stadium, citing complaints from neighbours over the trash with my name on it. The ban held with a few notable exceptions ever since.

Fun With Pictures ► Unpacking The Aunty Em Ericann Blog

January 24, 2013Another Johnny Dollar Cover Up, Fox News, Fox News Snark, Johnny Dollar, Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Comment of the Day, Unpacking the Aunty Em Ericann Blog, Unpacking The WriterHeadly Westerfield

Vulcan mind-meld — you’re doing it wrong.
Caption Contest winner: ET

To pick up where I left off in my Unpacking The Aunty Em Ericann Blog series, dear readers . . .

In the wake of Johnny Dollar exposing my nom de plume and sex life — and while still mightily pissed off — I created a facebook page called The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society and invited some people to join. Only 15 people ever did and I promptly forgot all about it. That is, until recently. The other day I added a few more pics of Johnny Dollar that people had sent me over the last few months, as I continue to research my book.

This morning I received the following private message from a █████ ██████, who claims to be the brother to the aforementioned walking pile of human excrement Mark Koldys. Why anyone would admit to that is beyond me, but he did. Now I need to caution everybody that anyone can claim to be █████ ██████. Furthermore, any █████ ██████ can claim to be a brother to one of the biggest assholes on the planet, just like I claimed to be Aunty Em Ericann for 7 fun years. Just like anyone can claim to be Morty Shatz, Ngu AliceSamatha, or Oy Humidity, all recent facebook contacts that I suspect of being Dollarites who are catfishing me.

You see, dear reader, that’s one of my problems these days. Johnny Dollar has made me extremely paranoid about every new out-of-the-woodwork-interweb-contact, including professed brothers of supreme assholes. And, that’s a terrible position for a journalist to be in.

Anyway, I digress. This particular ‘Brother █████’ wrote to The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society, which is me:

Hello. I was hoping you would consider a request. Your site is most interesting however I do hope that your intended focus is not the dead parent of Johnny D or his brother (myself a lifelong Democrat..Kerry, Gore, Obama). You may feel free to tangle with him to your hearts content. I have asked Facebook to request you remove just the family pictures. I am hoping you will do so. I have no dog in this fight. However remember an old saying… If you kick the dog you own the bite… if you tickle the dog you own the delight.
I appreciate your understanding.

What a polite message and that’s no snark. I’m assuming this so-called █████ ██████ is referring to this picture:

Unlike how I posted this pic on facebook, the innocent faces are blacked out.
Mark Koldys is on the far right with the pens in his pocket and the snazzy plaid pants.

My very public reply:

█████: Thank you for your polite message. It’s just a shame you didn’t come to me first before you alerted facebook.

However, how can I refuse such a polite request? I removed the picture from The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society as soon as I received your request. As you say, my intended focus is not your deseased father ████ [pictured at left] or yourself [middle]. Unfortunately, facebook was unaware I had already removed the COVER picture, so it removed a new COVER picture that (I assume) you would not have disproved of. Oh well.

Mark Koldys at some nuptials

Having said all that, your alleged brother deserves whatever public humiliation which can be brought down upon him. In his effort to defend Fox “News” against the indefensible, your brother has “gone over the line” on so many occasions. No one cares that he defends Fox “News.” Different strokes, and all that. It’s that his modus operandi is lies, misdirection and personal attacks. He is, dare I say it, the very type of person that’s hurting ‘Merka.

Mark Koldys proved he will stoop to ANY low when he viciously attacked NewsHound writer Aunty Em Ericann (me!) and exposed the fact that I was using that as my Performance Artist Nom De Plume™, even though hundreds of people already knew and it was not that big a secret. While I always
expected that to happen eventually, I never expected there would be an asshole creepy enough to expose details of my sex life at the same time.
Enter and sign in please, Mark Koldys, aka Johnny Dollar.

Just so you know, █████, because I think you should have all the facts, the details of my sex life were later removed from his blog, now leaving it up to
everyone’s imagination what it might be. He even threatened to put it back because I complained about that. Johnny Dollar — Mark Koldys — has never apologized for what he did to me and
even defended it on several occasions. He only removed the details, he
made abundantly clear, because it offended the precious sensibilities of
one of his sycophants, not because he had any crisis of confidence.

IRONY ALERT: Mark Koldys decrying the exact
tactics he employs against every NewsHound writer.

Furthermore, he did this knowing full-well that I was about to attend a large family reunion in the Detroit area. That you claim to be his family and are feeling some slight discomfort about a pic on facebook is kind of cute. I had to explain this brouhaha to HUNDREDS of people, including family and friends. Every once in a while, 9 months later, it still pops up and I have to explain all over again.

How much of your own sex life have you been forced to share with how many people?

“Some people say” I was merely collateral damage in the 8-year war Johnny Dollar has waged against the NewsHounds web site. If you feel wounded remember you’re just another casualty of your alleged brother’s dirty business.

Before I sign off █████, I’m hoping the following anecdote will make you laugh as much as it did “some people” who dislike Johnny Dollar:

On the same day I posted the pic that you asked me to remove from facebook, a friend taught me how to use Google Images to search a particular image for similar images. Just for shits and giggles I plugged your brother’s picture into the search engine. I admit I was really just being a jerk, but it seemed like a fun exercise at the time. Unfortunately it found no matches. However, as a secondary function, Google returns “Visually similar images.” I took a screen cap, because that also amused me. Then I shared it with some people who dislike Johnny Dollar, for no other reason than I knew it would amuse all of us.

That’s when one of them pointed out that on the bottom row, in the very middle, is Josef Mengele, Adolph Hitler’s Angel of Death.

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
Josef Mengele

I haven’t stopped laughing since and keep wondering how many other mass murderers are among those 27 mugshots.

Once again, █████, I appreciate your good manners, something your alleged brother clearly never learned. I have no quarrel with you. Feel free to friend me on facebook, subscribe to my Twitter feed, or follow my blog. And, why not join The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society while you’re at it. You’d be welcome.

With all my love,
Aunty Headly

The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 35

January 22, 2013Eric Bolling, Faux Fox Outrage, Fox News, Fox Snark, Gun Control, Lies, Oliver North, Politics, Spin, The Fox News Spin Cycle, Today's Fox Snark, WHITEwashHeadly Westerfield

If Fox “News” isn’t anything, it isn’t subtle. Tracking which people, or memes, it gives voice to on a weekly basis is to witness its naked bias. The Fox “News” Spin Cycle has been designed from the bottom up to expose that Fox “News” bias, and have a little fun at the same time.

To be serious for a sec: During a week in which many people — including President Obama — spoke about common sense gun safety regulations, Fox “News” promoted none of them, elevating only the most extreme voices in the gun debate. Just another reason why Fox “News” is not “Fair and Balanced.” Never has been. Never will be.

It used to be that I could expect to start my week with a leggy cheesecake pic from Ainsley Earworm and pugnacious bravado from Bully Boy Bolling. My how times have changed.

The unintended consequences of a a conservative ‘Merka is an overabundance of assholes.

WTF? Republicans now consider Republican Chuck Hagel an “in your face” nomination? Just more proof that Fox “News” will push out any nonsense, as long as it’s critical to President Obama.

Loofah Lad points out they have hateful and intolerant people in France, just like in ‘Merka. Wee? Oui! See? We ain’t so far apart after all, Falafel King. Is that enough to call off your boycott of France?

Well put. Now the Fox “News” attacks start.

The difference? Dubya was hiding the debt caused by his two wars and his tax cuts. It was a failure of leadership.

One thing you have to admire about Bully Boy Bolling, he’s not afraid to play the clown on tee vee. He’s not afraid to act stupid on tee vee either, however . . . it’s no act..

The “magic coin” idea was dropped more than a week ago. Why are you still harping on it?

Another Fox “News” headline that just makes shit up. There is no proof whatsoever that the “gun permit map” led to this burglary. It could have just been a random crime that happened coincidentally to a home on the “gun permit map.” It is far more logical to assume that IF burglars were really using the “gun permit map” to plan break-ins, they’d burgle people who didn’t have guns, not those who did.

That’s why this headline is another Fox “News” lie.

The real question you should be asking, Falafel King: Is the US becoming too permissive towards loofahs and falafels? Watch:

The Florida prof everybody loves to hate. Fox “News” piles on. Yawn.

Fox “News” spent the entire week trying to paint President Obama as a dictator, a king, a usurper who is coming for your guns. Of course, they didn’t want to say it themselves, so they just repeated it whenever anyone else said it, no matter which idiot said it.

You will not find this quote from President Obama anywhere. He never said it. Newsmax made it up and Fox “News” is happy to pass it along.

Fox “News” is also happy to pass along crazy shit like this, too. It hardly matters what the reality is, as long as Fox “News” can find a way to trash President Obama.

Can we give Steve Doocy a breathalyzer test? Because if you watch him with the sound off he looks drunk.

There are still some Fox “News” babes willing to show off their legs in the name of cheesecake. Sadly, since getting married, Ainsley Earworm is no longer one of them.

Cal Thomas is so NOT “Fair and Balanced” he has his own entry on Right Wing Watch.

Alex Jones, who was exposed as a fire-breathing crazy by Piers Morgan, conducted an interview with a woman stupid enough to believe a program started by Dubya in 2008 was Obama’s program. This extremely-low information voter then goes off on an anti-Obama rant and — for bonus points — she’s Black, which also throws racial politics into this mix of ugly.

And, while it happened on Alex Jones’ radio show, Fox “News” is happy to provide a wider platform for this unmitigated nuttery because it trashes President Obama. Accuracy, not to mention fairness and balance, is beyond the point.

Previous editions of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle documented how Fox “News” turned Jon Hammar into a hero, despite the fact that he was arrested by Mexican border authorities for trying to bring an illegal shot gun into Mexico.

Jon Hammar was been released by Mexico (an event for which Fox “News” was happy to take credit) and his first media appearance was on Fox, natch. Wretched Gretched wet her panties when she heard that he spent his time in a Mexican jail reading The Bible.

Of course President Obama has signed fewer Executive Orders than Dubya, but you never heard the Libertarian sheep bleating about it back then. However, just try and protect children — and other ‘Merkins — from gun violence and suddenly he’s King Obama? Sorry, you’re going to have to do better than that.

OH! Wait!!! What am I talking about? Your brain-dead viewers will believe anything. Never mind.

The resistance he’s facing is coming mainly from Fox “News” and its fearless leader, the NRA.

Last week I told Bully Boy Bolling that despite all the speculation, he’s the ONLY source that is saying definitely that Rand Paul is running for president in 2016. Now he’s claiming that this Politico article confirms his scoop. Yet, the article only speculates that Rand Paul may run in 2016.

No wonder Bully Boy Bolling works for Fox “News.” He simply doesn’t understand the difference between speculation and confirmation, just like so many of those other crazy MoFos at Fox “News.”

“Who was dissing God? Coming up on Fox “News” we get to the bottom of this outrage and send Jesse Watters to get God’s reaction.”

Hannity Prays For Secession. FIXED!!!

Wrong again!

To remind my faithful readers: The Fox “News” Spin Cycle was started precisely because I wanted to have an outlet to show how Fox “News” was WHITEwashing Mendacious Mitt’s election campaign lies. It would seem that Fox “News” hasn’t stopped lying on behalf of Mittens.

What Mendacious Mitt said, in the closing weeks of the election campaign, is that GM was OUTSOURCING ‘Merkin jobs to China. That’s when everybody and his brother — including GM — jumped on Mitt for being a lying sumnabitch. Now Fox “News” is the lying sumnabitch. Romney still isn’t right. The second part of the headline disproves the first part. China is just increasing China’s domestic production.

Try again.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Two things about this: 1). We only have the NRA’s word for it. 2). Of course there were many people who quit the NRA after its stance on the Newtown Massacre. Fox “News” will never tell you about any of them.

By this time next week there will be a statue of Jon Hammar in every town square in ‘Merka. Or, his 15 minutes of fame will be over. I’m predicting Fox “News” has no more use for him. NEXT!

He’s wrong, of course, and Fox “News” knows it. However, passing it along to its brain-dead followers provides another way for Fox “News” to trash President Obama, but have plausible deniability because it’s only something that “some people say.”

No, Bully Boy. It was a new low when Dubya used children as props.

Here is Dubya using children as props in 2002 as he signs the No Child Left Behind Act.

However, that’s not the only time that Dubya used children. In 2006 he used one as a human shield, the exact criticism that the Reich Wing has been accusing President Obama of. Look:

Note how Dubya is actually using 1-year old Trey Jones as a human shield. That’s because Dubya was vetoing a bill which would have provided federal funds towards embryonic stem cell research. Dubya knew his decision was controversial and decided that using cute children as human shields might inoculate him from criticism.

Here is Bully Boy Bolling and Rush Limbaugh moaning about President Obama’s human sheilds, while forgetting all about Dubya doing the same thing. Watch this idiocy from The Five:

Texas can’t decide which laws to endorse and which laws not to endorse. Who the hell do they think they are? Colorado?

Who is Phil and where are we meeting at 4:13? And why 4:13? Why not 4:20?

Is this woman still a Fox “News” personality?

The NRA started selling this Talking Point on Tuesday and, oddly enough, so did Fox “News.” It’s almost as if the NRA had been writing the Fox “News” scripts.

FINALLY!

Someone appears to have ordered a delay. However, there is no proof whatsoever that it was someone on Team Obama, whatever that might mean. However, what can you expect when you are running stories that originated the Breitbart Journalistic Malpractice site. While AP broke the story, that’s not the AP’s original headline, of course.

Fox “News” resigned KKKarl Rove to a new 4-year contract, which only goes to show you how well lying for the GOP will pay, if you do it right.

Almost everybody, including many Conservatives and Republicans, condemned this disgusting, and duplicious, advertisement. It was debunked thoroughly.

Remember: Loofah Lad is the original Culture Warrior. Just ask Andrea Mackris.

Isn’t this precious?

Juan Williams, one of the few sane voices at Fox “News” is trying to get the Fox “News” brain-dead viewers to listen to simple logic and facts. He must know he’s pissing into the wind.

If King Herod and Jesus Christ weren’t BFFs from way back, Fox “News” wouldn’t even care about this exhibit.

I see, it’s all Liberals’ fault.

As proper as Dubya doing the same thing.

Oh, Steve Doocy, you are such a hack.

Bully Boy Bolling never met a false equivalency he didn’t like.

Draws criticism from people at Fox “News” and the NRA, of course. No one else really gives a shit.

And, not a single one of them takes away any guns from anybody.

All that Reich Wing hysteria for nothing.

No gun-grabbing? Better change the topic.

Clearly Geraldo didn’t get the memo.

The Republican Party doesn’t need his help. They are doing a good job of it on their own.

ALERT!! Bully Boy Bolling is lying again.

Yes, it’s true he beat Politico by 2 days, but Bolling’s not the first person to speculate that Rand Paul might run for president in 2016. However, until he actually announces his intentions, it’s NOT news, it’s guesswork.

Therefore, why should anyone trust you on anything, Bully Boy?

“Will be on Hannity tonight to lie about President Obama’s new proposals regarding gun laws. Hope you’ll believe my lies starting at 9:00 PM EST.”

FIXED!!!

Oy vey!!!

Todd Starnes is fast becoming the latest Reich Wing Radio Crazy. Fox News has embraced his . . . err . . . particular point of view.

No, not really. However, if Brent Bozo’s News Busters attacks someone from NBC, Fox “News” is only happy to pass it along.

Another Fox “News” lie.

The hospital didn’t blame Obamacare in part — or at all — for its decision. Those who had been providing the service have retired or moved. The hospital has decided it’s not cost effective to continue to hire new obstetricians to deliver babies. Obamacare did not factor into the decision at all.

Is there any low to which Fox “News” won’t go to attack the president?

I have previously pointed out how Oliver North uses his cat bird seat as a Fox “News” personality to hawk his books and guided tours of The Holy Land. Now he’s shilling for the NRA. To be fair: So is Fox “News.”

Oh, lookie: Steve Doocy has learned some slang.

Oh, fer fuck’s sake!!!

No, not really. However, Fox “News” loves to attack other networks. It just happens to be CNNs turn.

Despite the fact that President Obama’s recommendations have not affected the Second Amendment whatsoever, Reich Wing Gun Nuts™ are going to continue to pretend it does. And, Fox “News” is happy to help sell that lie.

If you can’t prove that President Obama has nullified the 2nd Amendment, just say that he is still planning to do so. And, Fox “News”is happy to help you sell that lie.

Steve Doocy’s imaginary friend Gus is smarter than Steve Doocy.

Just a reminder: KKKarl Rove also writes regularly for the Wall Street Journal, another Rupert Murdoch entity.

Oh, gorsh!!! Shazam, shazam, shazam.

When I imitate southern people, I have been known to use a southern accent. Another tempest in a teabagger.

No.

Crosshairs? I see what you did there.

THERE HAS BEEN NO GUN BAN!!!

These Sheriffs have sworn an oath to uphold the law, all the laws, not just the ones they like.

Just more proof that you can feed the ‘Merkin people garbage and there will always be a lowest common denominator who will eat it right up. McDonald’s has made a fortune on the concept.

The Five may get ratings, but it’s still the worst show on tee vee since ***

We interupt this exciting episode of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle for this Public Service Announcement from Media Matters for America:

What’s to debate?

See? And, the Wall Street Journal never mentions KKKarl Rove’s conflicts of interest either.

So he can walk back the statement that President Obama is a Fascist after so many of his Progressive customers got righteously pissed off.

Are you drunk, Doocy? How many times have you been told not to drunk tweet?

It’s also the company you keep, right?

Take not that an extreme Right Wing facebook page is sharing a link with Fox “News.”

HYPOCRISY ALERT: KKKarl Rove is going to trash President Obama’s non-profit group, while he and Fox “News” never came clean on his non-profit SuperPACs spending an estimated $300,000,000.00 to game the 2012 election. Despite spending all that money, almost every candidate American Crossroads and Crossroads GRS supported lost. Then there’s that election night meltdown, when Rove couldn’t — nay WOULDN’T — believe the election results.

No wonder Fox “News” resigned him to a new 4-year deal. He’s the perfect charlatan for our times.

When fake girlfriends are outlawed, only outlaws will have fake girlfriends.

Did you skip your AA meeting again?

No. But Fox “News” is making it seem like it does.

What does Fox have against alternative forms of energy? Whenever it gets the chance Fox “News” finds a way to attack all forms of energy that are not fossil fuel-derived. If ‘Merka had been helping to support alternative forms of energy for the last few decades, she may have been able to break the petrol-chemical umbilical cord that connects us to the Middle East.

Just another way for Fox “News” to attack another network’s news anchor. Tom Brokaw, incidentally, is far more respected by the ‘Merkin people than anyone from the Fox “News” Channel. For that matter, He’s far more respected than Mark Levin and Right Scoop, for that matter.

Loofah Lad must not watch MSNBC very often. I have seen many criticisms of President Obama on MSNBC. However, this is not about truth. As mentioned above: Fox “News” just loves to trash other news networks and The Falafel King is happy to play along. Especially as he is seeing that channel he’s criticizing erode on his ratings.

Zzzzzzz . . .

Oh, Juan! Yer an idiot at times. It’s not “gun control.” It’s “gun safety.” However, you’re happy to repeat Frank Luntz-style language without thinking about the implications of your words. In other words, Juan: You continue to drink the Kool Aid from the Fox “News” fountains.

If you want some (unsolicited) advice, Juan: Get outside of that Fox “News” bubble and you’ll be a whole lot better for it.

Cue the Reich Wing to start attacking in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

Had this politician been a Republican the headline would have been very different:

HERO STICKS TO HIS GUNS

Still using the humourless Jesse Watters to make fun of Liberals.

Oh lookie who has an hour-long in-kind commercial for his Defending Killing PeopleOrganization: It’s none other than the NRA’s Wayne Pierre, who has already proved himself a soulless hypocrite who attacked the violence of video games for ‘Merka’s gun deaths and then, just a few days later, released a Shoot ‘Em Up App.

NewsHounds watched the hour long commercial for killing machines so I didn’t have to. In a post titled ‘Regular Guys’ Hannity And LaPierre Whine About Those Hypocritical Elites Who Want Stronger Gun Laws it was noted:

Hannity played the NRA’s hideous new ad targeting President Obama and his daughters. Hannity called it a “powerful ad but yet anything the NRA points out seems to just come under attack.”

LaPierre repeated his “media elite hypocrisy” whine and added, “What’s unfair is there are Moms and Dads all over this country getting up and sending their kids to school on Monday and Tuesday of next week that are praying that their kids come home safe. And we could immediately help protect those kids by putting armed security in school, the same armed security the elites have.”

However, as it turned out, that was untrue as well. As NewsHounds reported the very next day:

Fox News loves to point fingers at the so-called “liberal mainstream media” for being too credulous, especially now over the Manti Te’o hoax. So where were Fox’s journalistic skills when the NRA attacked President Obama as an “elite hypocrite” whose own children go to a school with 11 armed guards, while trying to restrict guns elsewhere? Answer: nowhere to be found – just like those mythical armed guards at the Obama daughters’ school. The Washington Post did some real fact checking and guess what? That NRA ad that Hannity gushed over got it wrong. I haven’t seen a correction anywhere else on Fox, either.

TSA perverts everywhere immediately went into mourning.

“QUICK! How can we blame President Obama?”

This is the kind of life minutia that Ainsley Earworm sends out now that she’s married. If you’re reading this, Ainsley: This doesn’t take the place of your leggy cheesecake pictures of yore:

This is the kind of leggy cheesecake your fans are missing, Ainsley. This picture was archived August 20, 2012. There are many more in the archives. However, they mysteriously stopped as soon as you got back from your honeymoon, Ainsley. What’s up with that?

Oh lookie: Bully Boy Bolling takes a swipe at Bob Beckel without actually naming him, knowing full-well his brain-dead followers would know exactly who he’s talking about.

ALSO: Would it be churlish of me to hope that Bully Boy Bolling achieves Sonny Bono zen on the slopes? Or just in poor taste?

Why would any woman agree to be inseminated with Rupert Murdoch’s sperm?

Like the Jesse Watters segments on Fox “News,” this Jimmy Kimmel segment is designed to make people look stupid. I don’t watch the Kimmel Show, so I can’t tell you if they have ever done this with Conservatives, or the GOP, but this is now the 2nd time I have seen Fox “News” pass along a segment because it makes Liberals and Democrats look foolish.

Here’s the psychology of this segment: People don’t want to appear stupid when a supposed “news” person asks them a question and sticks a mic in their face. So they vamp. And, they end up looking even more stupid. If you’re looking for comedy gold, you’ll get it every time. If you are using it to prove some kind of greater truth: FAIL!

The same way Fox “News” spreads. Pass the disinfectant.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Before you get to that: Please explain the popularity of Fox “News.”

Because Fox “News” keeps track of these things. For contrast, Fox “News” is more subtle. It labels Republicans caught in scandals as Democrats. Here’s just one time:

President Obama’s approval has not “plummeted.” It has declined somewhat. Besides, these most recent polls don’t correlate “approval” with “gun safety” (not “gun control”) regulations. In fact, the majority of the ‘Merkin people are in favour of commen sense gun safety regulations. As time goes on we will see whether the president’s push for gun safety improves his approval rating, or hurts it. I’m guessing that the NRA’s approval will plummet instead.

The Texas Tourism Board is changing the states slogan to:

Don’t mess with Texas because we’re the crazy MoFos with all the guns.

“Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Ted Nugent is the kind of crazy person that Fox “News” (not to mention The Daily Caller) is happy to give voice to. John Henry at Low Genius pegged him with a video titled “Ted Nugent Is An Enormous Coward” that puts the big, tough-talking, draft-dodging, well-named Motor City Madman in his place. Watch:

John Henry’s anti-Nugent rant is a year and a half old already. It doesn’t include his idiocy since then.

This is how the Nugent OpEd began:

As my loyal readers know I have a personal connection to that crazy MoFo Ted Nugent. On Halloween of last year I wrote an EXCLUSIVE article for Stones Detroit called Is Ted Nugent A Racist? Our Stones Detroit Writer Says, “Yes” in which I say:

When I was growing up in Detroit I lived on Gilchrist Street, 5 houses away David Palmer, the original drummer for the Amboy Dukes. When the Amboy Dukes were rehearsing in Dave’s garage, all us neighbourhood kids would gather at the end of the driveway and listen, but we’d catch hell if we took one step onto the property. As a teenager I saw the Amboy Dukes dozens of times in large and small venues and, consequently, have followed the career of Ted Nugent ever since, culminating in his crazy, racist rant earlier this week.

You’ll have to follow the link to see why I think Ted Nugent is a racist.

As the GOP and Teabagger parties disintegrate and point fingers . . . Pass the popcorn!!!

When Hello Kitty Bubble Guns are outlawed, only outlaws will blow bubbles with a Hello Kitty gun.

Take it from Snarky “Steve” Doocy, who used the entire Fox “News” Channel to flog his own book.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

The Fox “News” Channel can also be called “The God Channel,” but only one God is ever represented. HINT: It’s not the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama?”

Fox “News” is always ready, willing and able to attack the idea of Climate Change. Fox “News” also loves to make Hollywood stars look like hypocrites. This is a rare two-fer.

Fox “News” never met a tax increase it liked.

Yawn!

Testing An App

January 20, 2013Headly Westerfield

This app claims it will allow me to make blog posts from anywhere.

Now to explore it and see what else it does.

UPDATE: It turns out that I have explored everything it does. I can add a post, like above, consisting entirely of text and nothing else.

Do you have a Windows Phone? Let me know what apps you find indispensable. I’m still trying to become half as smart as my smart phone.

Judge Not 14 ► The Gun In Granny’s Garden

January 19, 2013Ayn Rand, Fox News Snark, GOP, Gun Control, Here Comes The Judge, Judge Andrew Napolitano, Judge Andy, Judge Nap, Judge Not, Libertarian, One World Government, Privacy Rights, Second Amendment, Today's Fox SnarkHeadly Westerfield

Unretouched pic of Judge Andy

The issue of guns was still foremost on Judge Andy’s mind this week, just like the last several weeks. Ever since the Newtown Massacre, in fact. Few other issues seem to engage him these days.

Meanwhile, the Judge Not Desk required no additional staffing, despite the fact that Judge Andy increased his output by 33% over last week. While it sounds like a lot, Larry (or is it Robert?), the child I hired to do this job, has improved considerably and was able to handle the increased Gun Nuttery. With Larry (or Robert) doing so well, the Temp I hired last week (who also has a name, but why should I bother learning it? She’s a temp) was able to pick up the slack.

Take it away, Judge Andy:

There have been so many specious arguments for not even considering rational gun safety legislation. Here is another one, this time from Austin Peterson. Peterson, oddly enough, also appears to be “The Libertarian Republic.” Judge Andy relies on his wisdom a lot. It’s easier than thinking.

Does more sugar equal fewer ants? More Austin Peterson propaganda.

I’m don’t quite see how the 14th Amendment could be used to raise the debt ceiling. However, to be fair, I still don’t see how the 14th Amendment could be used to declare corporations people. It seems that the 14th Amendment is pretty damned flexible. I’ll accept that House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi is smarter about these things than I am. Maybe there is a way to bypass the obstreperous House GOP/Teabaggers by using the 14th Amendment that I never considered.

However, since President Obama rejected using the 14th Amendment more than a month ago, Judge Nap is just scare-mongering again.

This is a perfect example of one of Judge Andy’s Tried & True Tactics™. The Laughing Libertarian likes to share commentary from people who will say what he believes, but gives him plausible deniability if it turns out to be a pack of lies.

This tactic is an extension of the second Fox “News motto. When Foxites say, “We report, you decide,” take careful note: They are, more often than not, pushing a single side of an issue with little counter-balance whatsoever. However, the use of the slogan tricks the brain-dead viewers into thinking they have just been presented with both sides of an issue.

I report; you decide.

Anyway . . . here’s what Walter Williams told the Daily Caller (in part):

If push comes to shove? Isn’t that precious? Walter Williams is full of crap, though.

True enough it’s the conventional wisdom that a “well-regulated militia” was needed in case the government suddenly turned into a rampaging Grendel. We would then be able to transform into Beowulf and save ‘Merka for herself. However, Walter Williams (and everyone else who believes this fairy tale) fails to take into account the definition of certain words back in the days of the Founding Fathers, and imbues those words with a 21st century meaning.

Thom Hartmann at Truthout, argues that “The Second Amendment was Ratified to Preserve Slavery.” As we all know, the Constitution was edited by committee and through some very serious horse-trading. The 2nd Amendment was no different. Hartmann lays it all out:

The real reason the Second Amendment was ratified, and why it says
“State” instead of “Country” (the Framers knew the difference – see the
10th Amendment), was to preserve the slave patrol militias in the
southern states, which was necessary to get Virginia’s vote. Founders
Patrick Henry, George Mason, and James Madison were totally clear on
that . . . and we all should be too.

In the beginning, there were the militias. In the South, they were also called the “slave patrols,” and they were regulated by the states.

[…]

By the time the Constitution was ratified, hundreds of substantial slave uprisings had occurred across the South. Blacks outnumbered whites in large areas, and the state militias were used to both prevent and to put down slave uprisings. As Dr. Bogus points out, slavery can only exist in the context of a police state, and the enforcement of that police state was the explicit job of the militias.

If the anti-slavery folks in the North had figured out a way to disband – or even move out of the state – those southern militias, the police state of the South would collapse. And, similarly, if the North were to invite into military service the slaves of the South, then they could be emancipated, which would collapse the institution of slavery, and the southern economic and social systems, altogether.

These two possibilities worried southerners like James Monroe, George Mason (who owned over 300 slaves) and the southern Christian evangelical, Patrick Henry (who opposed slavery on principle, but also opposed freeing slaves).

After some more debate, the Second Amendment was edited so that the “slave patrols” in the south could continue. Furthermore, they could never be molested by federal troops because now they were the well-regulated militias of the Constitution. This is the same kind of bargain with the South, and for many of the same reasons, that led to the 3/5ths compromise.

Don’t take my word for it. Read the entire article. Hartmann reports; you decide.

Yet, they didn’t have guns in the “ancient” “Judeo-Christian” world.

This is just more David Barton (Glenn Beck‘s historian) bullshit: “The Constitution is divinely inspired, so if you fuck with it, you’re fucking with the word of God. Yadda, yadda, yadda.”

And, if you ask me Judge Nap (even tho’ you didn’t), using religion is the laziest argument you have ever used to cling to your guns.

Because: Hitler!!!
I wrote about this more extensively in Targeting the Gun Lobby ► An Aunty Em Editorial. However, as is so often the case, Jon Stewart said it best:

“I wish armed Jews in the ghetto could stop Hitler. But my feeling was, France couldn’t. And I’m pretty sure they had guns. Russia had kind of a lot of guns, and they couldn’t stop Hitler, until you factored in the wind chill.

It’s an awful lot to put on an oppressed minority, when it took the free world 5 to 6 years of all-out total war to stop that motherfucker. So let’s stop arguing these ‘what ifs’.”

Because: Hitler!!!

Time will tell. Who ever thought the 14th Amendment could be used to declare corporations people?

Judge! Slow the fuck down and take a chill pill. Nobody is fucking with your precious 2nd Amendment. Relax until you actually see the black helicopters on the horizon. Then you can shit yourself.

Gun Nuts will be biting their nails right down to the quick until then. NB: All of Judge Nap’s dire consequences are coming BEFORE any gun safety proposals are announced by the president. Judge Andy must be a mind reader.

It’s been almost 5 years since Heston died of complications from pneumonia. However, he was cremated. “Look, Ma: No “cold, dead hands.”

This was the Reich Wing Freak Out of the Week™. “Oh noes! The Socialist-in-Chief is going to use little children to shove through gun control and steal the Constitution!”

PoliticusUSA asks, “Remember When Bush Used Children as Political Props in Stem Cell Research Veto?” Media Matters for America points out that “[i]n 2002, President George W. Bush had children attend the signing of the No Child Left Behind Act.“

What say you about the “Supremacy Clause,” Judge Nap?

This is just another example of Judge Andy pushing stupid shit out to his brain-dead followers, knowing full well they’re not smart enough to know that States cannot nullify Federal law.

However, Judge Nap, you know perfectly well that Texas can’t do this and that NOBODY IS TRYING TO FUCK WITH YOUR PRECIOUS 2ND AMENDMENT!!! You’re just trying to get people riled up and it’s working. You’re pissing me off.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Judge Nap, along with a whole raft of dead-enders (pun intended), wants you to believe that Executive Orders are an extroidonary measure. Not so at all.

According to the article Sloppy Reporting Misleads the Public on Obama’s Executive Orders:
Executive
Orders are a president’s instructions to the staff at executive branch
agencies, defining how they are to implement the laws that already
exist. They are not laws themselves. No president can issue an Executive
Order to take your guns, or your money, make new laws, or to do
anything unconstitutional. And Obama is smart enough not to order
actions that won’t survive legal challenges.

Executive Orders are
constitutionally valid. The Constitution’s Article II, Section 1,
Clause 1 – The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the
United States of America – gives the president that ability. Each
order’s preamble states his specific legal authority for the subject of
the order. Every president has issued Executive Orders. Governors and
mayors also issue Executive Orders to their staffs.
The orders are numbered consecutively. George Washington issued EO number 1. To date, President Obama has issued 146 Executive Orders, numbered 13489 through 13635. That’s an average of about 310 orders per president. President Franklin Roosevelt holds the record at 3,466, over more than three terms in office. Herbert Hoover – a Republican – is second with 1,011 in only one term. Ronald Reagan had 380 (two terms); George H.W. Bush 165 (one term); Bill Clinton 363 (two terms); and George W. Bush 290 (two terms).

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe also said, “Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered a thousand years ago.” That would work as a more accurate motto for Fox “News” than “Fair and Balanced.”

In a bizarre coincidence “The Empire of Lies” is the new motto for Fox “News.”

We interrupt this action-packed episode of Judge Not to bring you this message from Media Matters for America:

Judge Nap is lying through his teeth in this clip. He and Leggy Meggy Kelly argue that President Obama is destroying 2nd Amendment . . . the day before President Obama made his announcement.

However, Judge Nap also says that Executive Orders are perfectly legal. Here’s the clip:

Somebody should remind this Oregon sheriff that he is obligated by the oath he took to uphold that law and all laws. Judge Nap is in the perfect position ton make that argument, but he’d rather just pass along the headline so that his brain-dead viewers consider this Oregon sheriff some kind of 2nd Amendment Hero.

I love how Judge Nap presents the “plain truth” about President Obama’s “gun plan” before President Obama presents his “gun plan.” That’s plenty “Fair and Balanced,” right?

Because: Hitler!!! Class dismissed.

Here we go again. Judge Nap knows full well this Wyoming sheriff would be going against his oath of office if he starts to pick and choose which laws he will, and which he won’t, enforce.

The tide is turning against the Gun Nuts and they know it. That’s why they become more unhinged by the day.

Tell me, Judge. What would you replace the drone program with? Boots on the ground?

You have the right to die by bullets.

What about it? You’ve already argued that Executive Action is legal. [See clip above]

How many lazy arguments against reasonable gun safety will you trot out, Judge?

We interrupt this action-packed episode of Judge Not to bring you another message from Media Matters for America:

More scare-mongering from Judge Nap. He knows damned well that the president’s Executive Order did nothing but CLARIFY the existing law. However, he wants his brain-dead viewers to believe the gummint is coming for your guns.

Here he is making this ridiculous argument:

And, here’s a rare instance of Leggy Meggy Kelly actually providing some “Fair and Balanced” facts to counter Fox “News” bullshit when she appeared that evening on the Loofah Lad Conspiracy Hour:

Fox News host Megyn Kelly agreed that such a requirement would be troubling if it existed, but explained that “it’s not true.” Kelly went on to say that Obama’s executive order only clarifies that “Obamacare does not prohibit the doctors from asking [patients] about guns” “if they want to ask.” She further noted that during the passage of health care reform, the NRA successfully lobbied to ensure the bill contained a provision “saying patients don’t have to answer if they are asked by their doctor whether they have a gun.”

Watch Leggy Meggy shoot down The Falafel King and, consequently, Judge Nap’s bullshit:

Wars never create a safer world . . . until they are over, and then only sometimes.

I think Judge Nap just has an orgasm.

That’s the whole purpose of the Constitution? Boy, you must think your brain-dead viewers are totally idiotic to believe that overly-simplistic excuse for you to continue to cling to your guns.

Like ACORN?

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

This is totally flawed analogy for the trillion dollar coin, but Judge Nap is hoping that because it’s presented in cartoon form his brain-dead followers won’t notice. Besides, Judge, they said more than a week ago the trillion dollar coin idea is a non-starter. Why are you still flogging this dead horse?

Libertarians: Diligently ignoring any facts that put holes in their over-simplistic argument that there is no problem that an originalists version of the Constitution can’t solve.

The Reich Wing went nuts and insisted that King Obama was going to take your guns and force everyone to floss 3 times a day. The King is dead. Long live the King.

Not surprising to Liberals, Progressives, and politicians who have encountered some of these people at Teabagger rallies, the answer is a resounding YES.

In point of fact: Teabagger and Libertarian groups provide great cover for Neo-Nazis and White Supremacists. The more these groups deny it, the deeper they can infiltrate and influence these groups. I’m surprised that Judge Andy and Austin Peterson (who wrote the article to which The Judge links) are willing to confront this ugly fact.

That’s how the Judge Not week ends. Because: Hitler!!!

And, it turns out my latest hire’s name is neither Larry nor Robert. It’s Panjeet and he’s come up with what seems like a winning plan for outsourcing the whole operation. I’ll have to do some serious number crunching, but it might not be long before we move the Judge Not Desk to an unpronounceable country. One where they work for pennies on the dollar. For now Panjeet thinks he’s going to head up the operation. I’ll just let him keep thinking that until I fire his ass. That’s just between you, me, and the doorpost.