If you’re relatively new to Not Now Silly, and/or my Unpacking The Writer series, let me hip you to one salient fact right now, so you don’t feel foolish from here on out: 

Long-time visitors are already clicking on every advert they can find on this page and the next. “Why?” you might ask. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Where my readers are from and the browsers they use? Wait! China?

Ready? Because this is the series in which I ask — either subtly or blatantly (and this month I’m going with blatant) — for you to help me pay for some of the costs of this blog by clicking on an advert, or 10. Believe me when I say the pennies I get from your clicks don’t quite cover the storage costs for all the images I use. So, if you’re reading, this you should be clicking that. It’s only fair.

Meanwhile, as I was prepping this blog post I took a glance at the latest Not Now Silly statistics. The Blogger platform doesn’t give me a whole lot of info about my readers, which is why I go over the little I do get like a Vodou bokor divining over freshly-killed chicken entrails. One stat that I find eminently fascinating is what search terms caused visitors to take the off ramp to my rest stop on the information highway. I check it regularly looking for surprises. Here’s today’s chart of search terms:

Because this screen grab was taken early in the day, that’s the only search term that brought a reader to my doorstep so far. The search terms are always truncated to around 40 characters, so there are times I’m forced to infer what these people were looking for. While I’ve written about Bob Marley, I doubt this inquisitive person was looking for anything that I could supply. The same can be said for Researcher #6 on the weekly list [below] who got here twice — or there are two guys (gals?) out there searching for exactly the same stuff:

While I believe in giving my readers what they want, I simply can’t fulfill every request

Googalizer results for “free video sex gay negro black blog.” Who knew there were that many people looking for Black gay porn?

I’m baffled that that string of words would bring someone here, as opposed to other web sites, far more on topic, on much busier thoroughfares on the information highway. These people must be really drilling down deep into the search results because when I plugged “free video sex gay negro black blog” into the Googalizer, Not Now Silly didn’t pop up until Page 9. You’d think they would have been satiated at the end of page one, doncha? And, just imagine their disappointment when they arrive here. [It occurs to me that using the search term in this paragraph is sure to bring more puzzled visitors, which are my favourite kind. And, I’ve probably just ensured that Not Now Silly ranks higher than Page 9 from here on in on THAT search term.] 

People who are searching Not Now Silly for something very specific are represented in the chart’s #1 position above. The truncated string ‘“coconut grove playhouse” (site:blogspo”‘ indicates that someone was searching this particular site for a very specific specific term, 5 different times. I sure hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer.

Drilling down into the monthly results brings a few surprises:

The monthly stats is where [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff appears. That means someone has found there way here using that search term in the last month, but not within the last week. I hope it wasn’t a libel lawyer. That used to be a much more frequent search term, but I guess Sarnoff’s office got tired of checking. TO BE FAIR: I’ve not really written much about him lately. I wonder whether this mention will warrant a visit.

Meanwhile, the same Coconut Grove Playhouse search from the weekly chart is also on the monthly, which means it’s more than a week old, but less than a month. At the #1 position on that chart is my post on Josephine Baker, of which I am far more proud than all those times I poked the [allegedly] corrupt Miami Commissioner Marc D. Sarnoff with a stick.

However, the chart I always find the most interesting is the All Time results, tabulated since I launched Not Now Silly on April 19, 2012:

What I find most amazing about this last chart is that 258 people arrived at Not Now Silly by searching for one variation or another of Three Stooges. Who knew they were so popular? What I like about this list is that it’s fairly eclectic list of topics because Not Now Silly is a fairly eclectic blog.

I totally underestimated how long it would take to kick Chapter Two of my book, Farce Au Pain,
into shape for publication. I am narrowing in on it and really hope to
publish it for you on March 1st. You may wish to reacquaint yourself by
heading on over to the front door of Farce Au Pain. If you haven’t read it yet, boy are you in for a treat.

There’s
been a slight bit of news on Trolleygate, which I hope to write about
within the next week. I’ve been reading some legal documents and I need
to interview a few people to make sure I’ve interpreted them correctly. I
also want to see if I can get official comment from: 1). The City of
Miami; 2). The City of Coral Gables; 3). Miami-Dade County; 4). Astor
Development; 5). Anyone else who will take my calls. This could be a
busy week on the phone.

I continue to research the E.W.F. Stirrup House. While I have discovered some interesting information, I’m still closing in on the real history I’ve been seeking. In the meantime, in an effort to get more people interested in saving the E.W.F. Stirrup House from Demolition by Neglect, I’ve fired up a facebookery called, appropriately enough, Save the E.W.F. Stirrup House. If you’re a facebooker, please join the group. It’s jam-packed with info about the Stirrup House, Coconut Grove, and other instances of Demolition by Neglect.

I read all your correspondence.

A big hat tip to JN & DO for your suggestions concerning Headlines Du Jour. You’ll note I incorporated both your ideas, but just not both at the same time, if that makes sense. Oh, and AG: Your idea would have taken the focus away from the Headlines Du Jour, so . . . Never mind. However, there may be another way to use that idea at Not Now Silly, so stay tuned.

I had hoped that this month I would be announcing my contributions to a local franchise of a respected country-wide web operation. However, I’m awaiting a response to my first contribution ordered up by the editor.

Back in the day, when I used to write regularly for magazines, the final draft was sent to my editor by First Class Mail. If I didn’t hear back for several weeks, it was understandable. However, in this cyber-universe in which we now live, I can shoot a 1,000,000 word article to the other side of the world faster than I can type that old saw about the swift brown fox. It’s just possible I’m being impatient. Either that or I’m just nostalgic for the old days when editors were collaborators in shaping the final product. I need to curb my enthusiasm, in case things don’t work out.

I have learned that they squeal the loudest when you make fun of Loofah Lad, but The Falafel King would know all about that.

Additionally, lastly — and most gratefully — things have been relatively quiet on the cyber-bully front lately. The Flying Monkey Squad has not been as obsessively stalkerish this past month as usual. However, that doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about me totally. They’ve only mentioned me enough to remind me to schedule some more timed tweets about them, not enough to warrant writing another full post about them. I’ll let all my previous posts about those psychotic miscreants stand for the time being. For the day to day hilarity, you could check The Johnny Dollar Depreciation Society over at facebook.

A clue for the clueless: If you ever did forget about me, I promise to stop writing about you. I would have thought you would have figured that out by now. And, I know whose reputation is being hurt by this continued feud and it’s not mine. Your move, Chicolinis.

Dear readers: If you’ve read this far without clicking on an advert by now, you’re a poopyhead.