Tag Archives: Fox News Snark

Fox “News” Loses A Big One In Court

The Fox “News” slogan that thinking people laugh at

It’s no secret to fans of the Not Now Silly Newsroom that our Head Writer, Headly Westerfield, has — to put it crudely — a hard-on for the Fox “News” Channel (and its crazy Fox “News” defenders) ever since he wrote for NewsHounds under the nom de plume Aunty Em Ericann.

That’s why bad news for Fox “News” is generally good news for the Not Now Silly Newsroom. Consequently, we were delighted to read about a recent decision by a New York federal judge upholding a FAIR USE argument on behalf of TVEyes, a service that archives, transcribes, indexes, and resells every minute of every day of every news channel. Subscribers pay $500 a month for access to this treasure trove of history in the making.

Fox “News” sued, saying that a service such as this: 1). Infringed on its copyright; 2). Would affect the channel’s ratings, because the service would also allow people to watch a live channel stream; 3). Would harm the licensing and syndication arm of Fox. According to Wendy Davis at MediaPost:

U.S. District Court Judge Alvin Hellerstein in Manhattan said in a ruling issued this week that TVEyes’ indexing and clipping service was “transformative,” and therefore a fair use, because it serves a different function from the original broadcasts.

“Without TVEyes, there is no other way to sift through more than 27,000 hours of programming broadcast on television daily, most of which is not available online or anywhere else, to track and discover information,” Hellerstein wrote of the service, which counts the White House, Bloomberg, Goldman Sachs and branches of the U.S. military among its 2,200 paying subscribers.

“The White House uses TVEyes to evaluate news stories and give feedback to the press corps,” Hellerstein wrote. “The United States Army uses TVEyes to track media coverage of military operations in remote locations, to ensure national security and the safety of American troops.”

A far more accurate slogan for Fox “News”

Little wonder Fox “News” sued. Fox “News” would prefer people don’t have an express lane when exposing the patented Fox “News” Bullshit™ to the antiseptic light of day. While there is a great deal of Fox “News” mendacity exposed on the net, rarely is it the worst of the worst. Obsessive Fox “News” watcher Headly Westerfield codified it as The First Ten Rule at NewsHounds:

Over the years a pattern has developed on Fox “News,” and more specifically Fox and Friends, that’s worth examining in detail. News Hounds has often noted that F&F is the morning agit-prop table-setter for the entire Fox “News” day. However, within that pattern lies another pattern worth deep exploration. The First Ten™ minutes of Fox and Friends is the most important part of the channel’s entire day. A number of stories are covered on The First Ten, but the underlying thread is usually that they all make President Obama or the government look bad. Under the guise of bubbly happy talk, this heavily scripted segment—with just enough tomfoolery to make it sound ad libbed—is NEVER posted on Fox’s web site. That’s a shame because The First Ten™ is where Fox “News” launch a lot of its trial balloons. Some manage to float airily throughout the Fox schedule, trailing Right Wing memes. Others sink without a trace after one airing.

While that description is still accurate for those Foxy Friends on Fox & Friends, it also applies to the Foxy Friends on Fox & Friends First and those other Foxy Friends anchoring Fox & Friends Weekend.

But wait! That’s not all!!!

Increasingly during the broadcast day the patented Fox “News” Happy Talk Jab At Obama™ happens more and more than it ever did before. It happens most often when there are two anchors sharing the screen, but not exclusively. Sometimes it’s right at the end of one of the so-called pundit panels. It also happens as one anchors throws to another. At times it’s during the (possible) ad libs at the end of a story with the reporter who covered it in the field. There are other times it feels like extemporizing during the bumper going to commercial.

You never know what crazy person Fox “News” will put on
the air and what crazy crap might tumble out of their mouths.

However, no matter in what part of the day the comments fall, it’s a safe bet they’ll be excised when the segments are eventually posted on Fox News (dot) com and FoxNation. These smears, attacks and (quite often) outright lies already debunked are delivered as an aside, a
conversational transition, a segue from one thing to another. But, they are some of the more insidious statements made on the Fox “News” Channel.

Too bad the Not Now Silly Newsroom cannot afford a subscription to TVEyes. As it stands the Not Now Silly Newsroom supercomputer is kept busy collecting Headlines Du Jour and researching Race Relations in Coconut Grove, for the most part. There is simply not enough left-over computing power to record Fox “News” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, despite the installed tuner. The computer chokes on files that big.

However, with a subscription to TVEyes I could order up a specific 20 seconds of video in which, f’rinstance [and totally made up as an example, because this would never happen in real life, donchaknow?], Tucker Fucker Carlson whines about how society as we know it is about to come to an end because the Nanny State has blah, blah, blah . . .

Sorry. Got carried away.

However, if TVEyes wanted to donate a subscription to the Not Now Silly Newsroom, Head Writer Headly Westerfield would certainly welcome it.

Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday August 13, 2014

Hello, Headliners.Today’s birthday belongs to Bert Lahr, the cowardly lion. AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!! Other Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Now let’s look at today’s Headlines Du Jour:

INCOME INEQUALITY:

FREE THE WEED!!!

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SHEP SMITH IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

To his credit:

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

TUCKER FUCKER CARLSON IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

NEIL CAVUTO IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

LOU DOBBS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:


ALMA confirms comets forge organic
molecules in their dusty atmospheres

These new observations provide important insights
into how and where comets forge new chemicals,
including intriguing organic compounds.

Black hole bends light, space, time — and NASA’s NuSTAR can see it all unfold

Big Bang: How the Universe was created

VIDEOS DU JOUR:

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Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, June 6, 2014

Hello there, Headliners! Today’s birthday belongs to Swing bandleader Jimmie Lunceford, who knew a thing or two about the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

THE BERGDAHL BEAT:

IN LGBT NEWS:

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?


FREE THE WEED!!!

INFORMATION ABOUT THE INFORMATION HIGHWAY:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

TUCKER FUCKER CARLSON IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Carlson On Student’s Report: “He Went And Tattled To The Police”

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

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Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Hello, Headliners! Today is the birthday of Soul singer Curtis Mayfield. Among the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

Don’t teach this history either!

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

GOP STANDS FOR “GOT OUR PTERODACTYL”


FREE THE WEED!!!

ANTI-SOCIAL NETWORKS:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

TODAY’S PRANK:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

LAURA INGRAHAM IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bob Woodward: “You’re Underscoring My Point
That This Will Never Go Away, At Least With You”

THE TARANTULA IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ABLOW JOB IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

JUAN WILLIAMS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BOB BECKEL IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Amid Barrage Of Benghazi Lies, Bob Beckel Vows Never To Talk About Hoax Again

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

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Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Wake up, sleepyheads. I SAID, “WAKE UP!!!

The Not Now Silly news team has been out and about on the innertubes collecting only the most succulent headlines, at the exact moment of ripeness. So . . . pour yourself a cup of coffee, slap on your reading specs, and buckle your seat belts because it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour. 

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:


Judge Questions Legality
of N.S.A. Phone Records

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?

School Fails To Call 911 When Six-Year-
Old, Amazing Johnson, Severs Finger

IN LGBT NEWS:

Russian TV Star Wants to Throw Gays into Ovens – ALIVE

INSTANT RELIEF FOR AFFLUENZA SUFFERERS:

‘Affluenza’ Judge gave 14 Year-old Black kid
far more of a punishment than the rich white kid


DON’T ZIMMER ME, MAN!

O’Mara faces Florida Bar complaint about Zimmerman case


ON THE FACEBOOKERY:

Facebook to Start Showing Video
Ads This Week, Journal Reports


ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

In The Daily Beast, A Libertarian Says It’s Time To Sell Detroit’s Art


PHARMACEUTICAL CORNER:

The Selling of Attention Deficit Disorder
The Number of Diagnoses Soared Amid a 20-Year Drug Marketing Campaign


FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

FOX News Channel Announces ‘All-American New Year’ Special
►► Starring that GREAT ‘Merkin singer Susan Boyle!!! ◄◄

Fox News host Elisabeth Hasselbeck thanks
creationist for ‘standing up’ to the atheists


TODAY IN SCIENCE:

Scientists split water into hydrogen, oxygen utilizing light, nanoparticles

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:


 

China’s flag-bearing rover
photographed on moon

Sun will ‘flip upside down’
within weeks, says Nasa

Do We Live in a 10-Dimensional Hologram?
Why physicists imagine mind-bending black-hole universes.


IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

Nirvana, KISS, Linda Ronstadt among Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees


IN ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS:

Has a natural world wonder just been approved
for destruction by the Australian government?

One of the natural wonders of the world is about to have
3 million cubic metres of seabed dumped on top of it.


HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

Cats Chased Rats for Humans Over 5,000 Years Ago

Neanderthals buried their dead, according to new study


VIDEO DU JOUR:


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Megyn Kelly Is A Small Slender Liar!!! *

Megyn Kelly of The Kelly File is simply lying. Last night she went on the air to say she was only joking the other night when she insisted — INSISTED!!! — that both Santa Claus and Jesus H. Christ ** are real and both are White dudes:

Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. I mean, Jesus was a white man, too. He was a historical figure and that’s verifiable fact, as is Santa – I just want the kids watching to know that.

If no-longer preggy Leggy Meggy were really joking, there would have been some indication of it, no matter how slight. A sly grin perhaps. An upturned eyebrow denoting sarcasm. Some telegraphing to her audience that this was a light-hearted segment, not to be taken too seriously. But take a look at the original clip again. She’s as serious as a Dick Cheney hearty attack. She’s not joking. She’s demonstrating anger and frustration. Even Loofah Lad’s lame Body Language reader would be able to catch it. Watch for yourself and decide whether she’s joking:

In defending her highly attuned sense of humour — and trashing the millions of people who simply took her remarks wrong — Leggy Meggy turned over the race card and played the victim:

Cue the firestorm of controversy over my declaring Santa’s skin color. Many questioning whether I understand that Santa is a mythical figure. Others suggesting I am a racist who is outraged at the idea of a black Santa.

This would be funny if it were not so telling about our society, in particular the kneejerk instinct by so many to race bait and to assume the worst in people. Especially people employed by the very powerful Fox News Channel.

Yeah, because everyone who saw the segment with their own lying eyes were simply mistaken, and that includes most of the internet. Both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report took shots at Kelly on the same night over her highly elevated sense of Crazy White Privilege and Entitlement. But, everybody is wrong. Nothing to see here. Move along.

However, to compound her extreme asshattery, Kelly practically ignores the valid criticism that she is 100% wrong to say Jesus was White, which is far more offensive than a casual statement declaring fictional Santa is a real White guy. This is all she said about that:

By the way, I also said Jesus is white. As I’ve learned in the past two days, that is far from settled.

Far from settled?!?! Not, “I said something bone-headed?”

Not once did Megyn Kelly take any ownership of any of the words that tumbled out of her own mouth. She hid behind the fig leaf of every scoundrel who has ever gotten a disapproving response to a racist joke: “HEY! I was just joking. Don’t you have a sense of humour?”

In Megyn Kelly’s White World of Privilege™ everyone else is at fault for misinterpreting her words, despite the fact that she’s paid good money to put across her thoughts in a cogent manner. If the entire internet got it wrong, maybe it was the messenger, Kelly. Maybe it was the message, too.

However, yannow who else didn’t think she was joking? Stormfront, described as “the first major hate site on the internet,” knew exactly what Megyn Kelly was saying and rushed to her defense.

* With apologies to Senator Al Franken

** For the record: I accept Jesus was an historic figure, just not a White one. Whether Santa is real: As I’ve learned in the past two days from talking to children, that is far from settled.

h/t  Priscilla at NewsHounds

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 8, 2013

While you were sleeping the Not Now Silly news team went creeping and crawling thru’ the internets with one mission in mind: Bring back nothing but the best in news headlines. Let’s get right to it with today’s Headlines Du Jour.

TODAY IN WTF? NEWS:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Unarmed Man Shot At By NYPD
Has Been Charged With Assault
Because Bullets Hit Bystanders

IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN, I’D BE AN ARCHEOLOGIST:

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

‘God Help Us’: Fox News Columnist Calls Pope Francis the ‘Catholic Church’s Obama’

ALL I NEED IS THE AIR THAT I BREATH:

Shanghai’s Choking Smog
Registers ‘Beyond Index’

TODAY IN FOLK MUSIC:

Bob Dylan Stratocaster sets auction
record, sells for nearly $1 million

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Axel Foley Is Coming Back To Detroit
In Another ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ Film

THE HEAD BECKERHEAD:

Glenn Beck Says Daughter Brainwashed
into Thinking he is Anti-Gay

◄◄ From the Wayback Machine ►►
The Day I Shook Hands With Glenn Beck

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:

Mysterious Alien Planet in
Farthest-ever Orbit Discovered

UA Astronomers Discover
Planet That Shouldn’t Be There

Massive Black Hole Duo: Possible
Sighting by NASA’s WISE

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home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
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Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, November 22, 2013

It was the Headline Du Jour around the world 50 years ago. On this day President John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, Texas. The last words the president heard came from the Nellie Connally, wife of Texas Governor John Connally. 

“Mr. President, you can’t say that Dallas doesn’t love you!” 

Kennedy replied, “That is very obvious.” 

These were JFK’s last words as the first gunshot rang out mere seconds later.

WATCH: Newly discovered footage of Jack Kennedy

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

G.O.P. Maps Out Waves of Attacks Over Health Law

Oddly enough, these are the same exact talking points that Fox “News” has seized upon to continually trash President Obama and the ACA. What are the odds?

Bill O’Reilly Insists Nobody On Fox Makes Personal Attacks

Hasselbeck: Oprah shouldn’t call out
racists because it ‘undermines racism’


OPRAH WINFREY BONUS:

Is Oprah too successful to understand racism?
Isn’t Oprah smart enough woman to realize that she should have left all talk of racism to
White folk because White folk are the only people who can truly understand racism?

SO GLAD WE ARE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Hate crimes charges after students fasten bike lock
around black roommate’s neck and call him ‘Three-fifths’

North Carolina Republican Senate Candidate
Worked For Neo-Confederate Group

Arizona teen says flying Confederate flag
on his pickup led to hate crime at school

PAYBACK’S A BITCH:

 

Home of North Dakota white supremacist defaced by racist graffiti after revelations about his ‘African’ DNA

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODES OF COPS GONE WILD:

In Miami Gardens, store video catches cops in the act

Driver Arrested in Ohio for Secret Car Compartment Full of Nothing

LGBT NEWS:

What Did Mary Cheney Just Say About Her Sister Liz’s Candidacy?

HOW HAVE THINGS HAVE CHANGED IN THE MUSIC BIDNEZZ?

40 Years of Music Industry Change, In 40 Seconds

UP AGAINST THE WALMART:

Ashton Kutcher vs. Wal-Mart: Epic Twitter clash rages over poverty wages
Kutcher slams retailer: “You should be proud of your
associates but I’m not sure if they should be proud of you”

Stephen Colbert Chides Walmart For Employee Food Drive

MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

First Detroit Walk to Fame plaque – for Berry Gordy Jr. – is unveiled

Detroit Walk to Fame stepping out with star names

FREE THE WEED:

82 Percent of Floridians Support Medical
Marijuana, 48 Percent For Recreational Use

JUST BECAUSE:

IKEA Let Loose a Herd of 100 Cats Into Store to ‘See What Happens’

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly.,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic. Updated through the day. Use
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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Is Normal ► Today’s Ablow Job

Welcome to another fun-filled episode of Ablow Job. Not since Loofah Lad dumped Body Language Expert Tonya Reiman has there been such an idiotic segment on the Fox “News” Channel as “Normal or Nuts.”

That’s the official name of the weekly Wednesday Laugh-0-Thon that is really Ablow Job. Here’s how it normally [no pun intended] works: Those Foxy Friends on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out pop psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow and ask him to weigh in viewers’ emails to determine whether the average Fox “News” viewer is — err — normal or nuts. No, really. That’s it.

This week they dispensed with emails for a special all-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford edition of Normal or Nuts. The Foxy Friends asked Ablow to diagnose the crack smoking, drunk driving, criminal-hiring Mayor-In-Denial of the city I consider home, based on a few video clips. While everyone in the civilized world has recognized Mayor Rob Ford as a (gravy) train wreck, Ablow seems to think that Ford is simply misunderstood. Not even The Three Stooges were nuts enough to pick up what Dr. Keith was laying down. Watch:

While he called Ford a narcissist, Ablow also thinks Ford is “refreshing” because:
He’s direct, he’s clear, he says, “I know who my enemies are. I’m engaged and this is a battle to the end.” And, yannow what? If I were someone opposed to him, I’d say, “Wait! The game is on.”
No, Ablow really said that.
When Ford knocked over a a collegue last week while barreling over to the public peanut gallery, Abow seemed to think there was nothing abnormal about that behaviour since:
Number One: This woman kinda swoons. She doesn’t quite hit the deck. She kinda falls in a slow motion fashion, she gets up, and tries to comfort him. She may have a job as a therrapist in the future. I think he was doing a Chris Christie imitation, where Christie confronts people directly who are heckling him. He does it much more elegantly, but this guy’s channeling American [sic] politics.
Never mind that the only reason the woman didn’t fall over completely was because Ford caught her after he knocked her down. Even Steve Doocy, not always the smartest of Stooges, knew Ablow was full of shit when he responded, “I’m worried about you, Keith.”

Yet, Ablow says nothing about the bullying that Ford was engaged in at that exact moment in time when he was rushing over to the public peanut gallery to defend his brother, who was already heckling the citizens of Toronto. Had he not been such a bully in a china shop, he wouldn’t have given that woman a fat lip.
 The last video example has Rob Ford blaming his woes on “tax and spend socialists” on Toronto City Council. Dr. Forehead doesn’t think Ford is being paranoid at all:
“I’m not having this guy in my office ’cause he doesn’t need to come. He’s looking more and more NORMAL all the time. He probably is right about his detractors. Here’s a guy who stands up, and says, “Look, I’m not going to be a two-faced guy . . .”
Meanwhile, Doocy is yelling, “Hold it!!! Hold it!!! What about the crack smoking?!?!?!”
“Well, at least he admits it,” is this psychiatrist’s reply, proving he’s never dealt with people in denial about their substance abuse problems and alcoholism. At that the entire Curvy Couch erupted in laughter. Even they’re smart enough to finally realize Dr. Keith is a fraud.

AN AUNTY EM VIDEO BONUS:


A song for everything and everything for a song!

Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Not Now Silly presents some of the headlines roiling the world, or at least my little portion of it, today.

When I gain a pound it’s in the headlines.
~~~~~Kim Kardashian

Not in my Headlines Du Jour, Kim.

► Don’t blame Obama! Nixon’s the one! ◄

Nixon proposed today’s Affordable Care Act
It’s easy to forget amidst all of the conservative handwringing
that this is the kind of plan GOP has always wanted

██ A couple of headlines from Detroit, ‘Merka’s first throwaway city ██

► It turns out Gov Snyder could have protected the pensions, but chose not to ◄
Snyder rejected pension fund conditions
 

► Could the DIA treasures be sold at bargain basement prices? ◄
Kevyn Orr testifies DIA art could help city,
but stops short of suggesting sale

► Who is scooping up some of these distressed buildings? ◄
China Moves to U.S. Projects
Investors Taking on Distressed Properties in Cities Such as Detroit

 

██ The latest news about Fox “News” ██

► We will soon learn whether Rupert Murdoch paid his minions enough to keep their mouths shut ◄
High-profile British phone-hacking trial begins

► The Wall Street Journal used to be a respected newspaper. Then Rupert Murdoch bought it ◄
Suzanne Somers’ Anti-Obamacare Op-Ed
in the WSJ Is at 3 Corrections and Counting…

 

► There are still idiots willing to say idiotic things about the Travon Martin case. Enter Ted Cruz ◄
Trayvon Martin’s Mother Responds to
Ted Cruz’s Stand Your Ground Remarks

► BLAME OBAMA!!! ◄
Beck: Obama’s ‘Class War’ Is Responsible
For A Brutal Murder Of Five People

► This is some of the funniest footage I’ve seen in a long time ◄
NYPD tries to stop longboard skaters
during Broadway Bomb, fails miserably

► I’m so glad we are living in a post-racial society ◄
Teacher Suspended for ‘Racist’ Rant
Against ‘Ghetto’ Trick-or-Treaters

► When hemp is outlawed, only outlaws will farm hemp ◄
Could hemp be next big thing?
Discussion highlights opportunities

► Guns seem to have that effect on people, not to mention death ◄
‘We’re all in a state of shock’: Shooting
rampage in Texas leaves five dead

► The colour line is the poverty line is the power line ◄
After Sandy: New York’s ‘perfect storm’
of inequality in wealth and housing

One year on, it’s painfully clear that society’s choices mean the
hurricane hit our poorest communities harder than the well-to-do

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day.
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