Category Archives: Fox News

Headlines Du Jour ► New Year’s Day 2014

2013 YEAR-ENDERS

Twelve Months Of Fox
News Race-Baiting

2013 a great year for U.S. stocks

2013: The year in whiteness

2013: The Best of Bad Astronomy

The Year in Racial Amnesia

Universe Today’s Top 10
(or so) Stories of 2013

2013 In Memoriam:
Musicians We Lost This Year

The 20 Worst Fox News
Moments Of 2013

The Seven Most Tiresome
Media Trends of 2013

In 1964, Isaac Asimov
Imagined the World in 2014

I’m sure it comes as no shock to anyone, but it’s a brand NEW YEAR!!! 

Not Now Silly is going to call it Two-thousand and fourteen when frustrated with it, but ’14 when pleased.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour, the very first of ’14.

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Life, Liberty, and the Founding Fathers’ Pursuit of Hoppiness
The Constitution was written by men who owned breweries, imported whiskey, and humped cows.

Retired General Wants March on White House and Citizens Arrest of Obama

Dysfunctional Republican Christians Vow To Destroy the First Amendment

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Oops! Republican Congressman Files Re-Election Papers For Wrong District

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Christie declines to defend N.J. gun laws, sparking criticism

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Knoxville drivers greeted by banners warning
that diversity is anti-white genocide

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Judge strikes down Florida law mandating drug tests for welfare

OH! OH!! CANADA!!!

Passengers Ridicule Canadian
Airline For Sexist Ticket Policy

RELIGION CORNER:

Franklin Graham: Pope Francis is not the judge, God is the judge

Home Depot founder worries Pope Francis neither loves nor understands rich Americans

HIGH TECH CRIME:

Thieves In Europe Are Using USB Sticks To Clean Out ATMs

VIDEO DU JOUR:

◄ Best News Bloopers of 2013 ►

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
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Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 31, 2013

This being the last day of the year means that today’s Headlines Du Jour is the last one for 2013. Join us tomorrow for the first Headlines Du Jour of 2014. Two-thousand and four. It just rolls off the tongue.

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox Anchor: NY Times Benghazi Report ‘Goes Against Much of Fox News’ Own Reporting’

Fox News Wastes No
Time Attacking NY Times
Benghazi Report

TRUE STORY: THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

Guess which party has a bone to pick with evolution?

Sen. Ted Cruz hires lawyers to renounce his Canadian citizenship

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Guy Reaches For Wallet, Ends Up
Shooting Himself In The Butt

RELIGION CORNER:

Comedian Raised $125K for Atheist Tornado Survivor Just to Piss Off Her ‘Okie-Christian Neighbors’

IN OUTER SPACE:

Sun has ‘flipped upside down’ – Nasa

The Quadrantid Meteor Shower-One of the Best Bets for 2014

FREE THE WEED:

Tommy Chong on marijuana legalization:
Everyone is waking up to the truth

IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

The 12 Craziest Things That
Happened in Florida in 2013

The 32nd Annual The King Mango Strut

WHEN GLITTER IS OUTLAWED, ONLY GLAM STARS WILL BE OUTLAWS:

U.S. police gone mad: Activists
arrested for ‘bioterrorism hoax’
for using glitter on a protest banner

MOTHER EARTH IS GONNA BE PISSED:

Scientists Find 7,300-Mile
Mercury Contamination ‘Bullseye’
Around Canadian Tar Sands

I HAVE AN ORIGINAL PETER MAX POSTER:

‘Antiques Roadshow’ discovers $660
painting is $661,000 van Dyck masterpiece

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 29, 2013

As the year winds down to its logical end, Not Now Silly declares 2013 as having 365 days, give or take. Now that we got that out of the way, it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

Woman Stabs Her Husband with a Ceramic
Squirrel Because He Didn’t Have Beer


LGBT CORNER:

Same-sex Couples Shatter
Marriage Records In Utah


RELIGION CORNER:

Fr. Jonathan Morris Compares
Phil Robertson To The Pope?

World’s Third Oldest Bible Displayed at Smithsonian

Paul Ryan lectures the pope
The Catholic conservative who insists he cares about the
poor says Pope Francis doesn’t understand capitalism


TEABAGGER CORNER:

Tea Party Facebook Group Posts BioShock Image Satirizing Tea Party


FREE THE WEED:

Marijuana Legalization Would
Bring Fresh Cash to California

Denver gives out recreational
cannabis sales licences


HOW MANY YEARS WILL HE GET? YOU DO THE METH:

Oregon man on meth fights off cops while masturbating in bar: police


NOW YOU CAN EAT IN THE DARK:

Glow-In-The-Dark Piglets Created In China Using Jellyfish DNA

THE LATEST IN COCONUT GROVE:


VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
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Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, December 27, 2013

Earlier this week, when I introduced robot drones to collect the daily headlines, little did I know how smoothly things would run in the Not Now Silly news room. Now when I wake up, the robots have already returned and the headlines are waiting on my desk. If I could only find a robot with news sense to cull the bad headlines — and then post this to the blog — I could sleep in. 

I’m also going to need a never-ending supply of AAA batteries; these suckers use a lot of power. No matter, let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

WHERE WILL FUTURE HEADLINES DU JOUR COME FROM?

As fewer people read newspapers, more share their front pages

IN LGBT NEWS:

Texas bar bans gay men over ‘safety risk’ for
dancing to country music instead of hip-hop

Advocates in Florida Gather Enough Signatures to Put Medical Cannabis Legalization to a Vote

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Mike Huckabee is either a clueless fool or a brazen liar

Fox News’ 5 worst moments of 2013

Fox News Spent 2013 Worrying About “Wussification”

YOU DESERVE A BREAK TODAY:

McDonald’s shuts down
heavily-criticized employee
resources site

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Racist Ohio Teacher Suspended After Telling Student ‘We Don’t Need Another Black President’

New Mexico Tea Party Patriots Leader: Blacks
Should Stop ‘Bitching And Moaning’ About Slavery

The Most Clueless Racists of 2013

Detroit has seen an uptick in history buffs and photographers
visiting its ruins since its bankruptcy filing.

THE RUIN PORN OF DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Detroit’s abandoned buildings draw tourists instead of developers

After a century, Michigan Central
train station’s last
stop in limbo

HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

8 very old sites in the New World

MUSIC IS LIFE:

30 Songs That Changed the Course Of Musical History

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

No charges after family member’s gun fatally shoots 2-month-old on Christmas Eve

Florida man shot and killed by stray bullet from neighbor’s backyard gun range

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
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Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, December 25, 2013 ► The All Christmas Edition

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a Jew was stirring
Not even a meshugenah in a crushed velvet suit. . .

Welcome to the All Christmas edition of Headlines Du Jour.


I GOTCHER PHONY WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE!!!

‘We are winning the culture
wars’: Cenk Uygur mocks Bill
O’Reilly’s fear of ‘secularist left’

9 reasons Fox News thinks there’s a war on Christmas
Fox thinks Christianity is under attack, thanks to non-
white Santas, freedom of speech and the word “holiday”


The Gospel according to Fox News — and their cries of
holiday persecution — make them look even more foolish

Black Santa shot by pellet gun during
D.C. toy giveaway while cameras rolled

Right-Wing Is Filled with Biblical Illiterates: They’d Be
Shocked by Jesus’ Teachings if They Ever Picked Up a Bible

Meet Tex-Mex ‘Pancho Claus,’ An Adored
Christmas Fixture In The Lone Star State

GOP Rep Lamborn Pushes Bill to ‘Save
Christmas,’ Fox & Friends Hosts Thank Him

Christian activists show their love by covering
Chicago atheist display and berating onlookers

The Real War on Christmas: The War on the Poor

Reza Aslan Takes Down the Christmas Myths
That Fox News Has Been Peddling for Years

GOP rep. cites ‘pluralism’ to push ‘save
Christmas’ bill that excludes all other religions

“1913 Massacre” Film Takes a Trip Back to
Calumet a Century After a Christmas Eve Tragedy

Surprise! Fox’s Todd Starnes Is Super ‘Outraged’
by Those Alabama Drag Queen Dancers

The real history of the “war on Christmas”


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, December 19, 2013

Each morning I sit by the open window waiting. I wait for the return of the Not Now Silly interns, who are both the hunters and the gatherers of this operation. The NNS interns have spent the entire night reconnoitering the innertubes and foraging for nothing but the best and most succulent headlines. They are picked at the exact moment of ripeness and brought back to me for inspection. I take these proto-headlines, check them for bugs, put them through a patented homogenization process, and VOILA! Today’s Headlines Du Jour.

PUT THIS ON PAY-PER-VIEW SETTLE THE NATIONAL DEBT:

McCain To Reid: ‘I’m Going To Kick The Crap Out Of You’

PROLITARIAT OF THE WORLD UNITE:

The Great American Class War: Plutocracy Versus Democracy

I GOTCHER WAR ON CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:

Arizona Woman Gets Punched for Saying
‘Happy Holidays’ Instead of ‘Merry Christmas’

SAY! DIDN’T YOU USED TO BE…?

BBC interviews random man on the
street who turns out to be the Fonz

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

Scientists cut million-year natural process to convert algae into crude oil to about an hour

Fossil turns back the human hands
of time  for tool use 500,000 years

LGBT NEWS:

Lawsuit: Mississippi school forced
‘pathetic dyke’ to use the boys’ bathroom

 

America’s Oldest Gay Rights Magazine Picks Pope Francis as Person of Year

 

◄ ◄ ◄ REMOVING THE ‘NASTY’ FROM DUCK DYNASTY ► ► ►

‘Duck Dynasty’s’ Phil Robertson suspended for comments about gays

◄ ◄ ◄ EARLIER ► ► ►

‘Duck Dynasty’ Star Rants Against ‘Homosexual
Behavior,’ ‘Islamists,’ And ‘Shintos’ In Epic Interview

Duck Dynasty Dad: Growing Up In Louisiana ‘I
Never Saw The Mistreatment Of Any Black Person’

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

Gun activists have a new craze —
and it’s more dangerous than you think

The new front line in the battle over gun rights is “open carry.” Here’s why it has psychologists deeply concerned

HYPOCRITE CORNER:

Watch: Marco Rubio is Confronted for Accepting $10k Obamacare Subsidy

 

Johnny Dollar ► Hypocrite ► UPDATED!

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Reporter Daniel Dale drops libel suit
after Mayor Rob Ford apologizes again

Dale has agreed to not continue his lawsuit against the mayor after
a second, more complete, public apology was issued Wednesday.

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

N.Y. cop’s anti-Obama Facebook rant: ‘Go die in a shallow grave you Muslim commie’

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

‘Where’s Hoda?!’ Shep Smith Gets Hilariously
Distracted by Dana Perino’s Facebook Page

THAT’LL TEACH HIM!!!

German town revokes Hitler’s citizenship

LOVE CONQUERS ALL:

Jamaican bride dumps new husband 20 MINUTES after
arriving in the UK… and guess who paid for her £5k visa

PLATE TECHTONICS IS COMPLICATED:

The world’s newest island, Niijima

VIDEO DU JOUR:

THIS REALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN 3D:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Wake up, sleepyheads. I SAID, “WAKE UP!!!

The Not Now Silly news team has been out and about on the innertubes collecting only the most succulent headlines, at the exact moment of ripeness. So . . . pour yourself a cup of coffee, slap on your reading specs, and buckle your seat belts because it’s time for today’s Headlines Du Jour. 

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:


Judge Questions Legality
of N.S.A. Phone Records

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?

School Fails To Call 911 When Six-Year-
Old, Amazing Johnson, Severs Finger

IN LGBT NEWS:

Russian TV Star Wants to Throw Gays into Ovens – ALIVE

INSTANT RELIEF FOR AFFLUENZA SUFFERERS:

‘Affluenza’ Judge gave 14 Year-old Black kid
far more of a punishment than the rich white kid


DON’T ZIMMER ME, MAN!

O’Mara faces Florida Bar complaint about Zimmerman case


ON THE FACEBOOKERY:

Facebook to Start Showing Video
Ads This Week, Journal Reports


ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

In The Daily Beast, A Libertarian Says It’s Time To Sell Detroit’s Art


PHARMACEUTICAL CORNER:

The Selling of Attention Deficit Disorder
The Number of Diagnoses Soared Amid a 20-Year Drug Marketing Campaign


FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

FOX News Channel Announces ‘All-American New Year’ Special
►► Starring that GREAT ‘Merkin singer Susan Boyle!!! ◄◄

Fox News host Elisabeth Hasselbeck thanks
creationist for ‘standing up’ to the atheists


TODAY IN SCIENCE:

Scientists split water into hydrogen, oxygen utilizing light, nanoparticles

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:


 

China’s flag-bearing rover
photographed on moon

Sun will ‘flip upside down’
within weeks, says Nasa

Do We Live in a 10-Dimensional Hologram?
Why physicists imagine mind-bending black-hole universes.


IN ENTERTAINMENT NEWS:

Nirvana, KISS, Linda Ronstadt among Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees


IN ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS:

Has a natural world wonder just been approved
for destruction by the Australian government?

One of the natural wonders of the world is about to have
3 million cubic metres of seabed dumped on top of it.


HISTORY IS COMPLICATED:

Cats Chased Rats for Humans Over 5,000 Years Ago

Neanderthals buried their dead, according to new study


VIDEO DU JOUR:


Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, December 16, 2013

Not Now Silly has been publishing Headlines Du Jour since October 29th. The NNS news team has learned a few things in that time. The biggest problem? The headlines simply won’t wait. They’re ready when they’re ready and not a moment before. And worse yet, they’re only stale when they’ve gone stale and not a moment too soon. The dilemma? The line between the two is so narrow, that one can’t always tell the difference. Which is why Not Now Silly will hire only the most discerning and intelligent interns and then pay them nothing. So, let’s see which intern didn’t hold up their end and needs retooling.

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

White supremacy’s long shadow: Why the myth of “race” still haunts America

POLITCAL CORNER:

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Federal judge declares Utah polygamy law unconstitutional
District court ruling finds key parts of Utah polygamy laws unconstitutional.

MAKE WAR, NOT PEACE:

Female protester pictured kissing policeman accused of sexual assault

FREE THE WEED:

Here’s How Many Pot Shops Will
Open In Denver After Weed Is Legal

Fort Lauderdale stockbroker ‘living
proof’ medical marijuana works

A NEW FOX “NEWS” LIE IN THE NEWS:

 
Krauthammer Tells PBS Viewers:
If You Want the Whole Story, ‘Try Fox’

MEGYN KELLY IN THE NEWS:

Slate Writer Who Questioned ‘White Santa’ on
Megyn Kelly’s Response: She ‘Played the Victim’

Black Marxist Jesus? Ask Megyn Kelly about this.

RELIGION CORNER:

Pope Francis Addresses ‘Ultraconservatives’ (and Limbaugh?) Calling Him a Marxist

TRUE STORY: THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR “OLD”:

John Boehner’s Budget Outburst
Shows Right-Wing Groups
Have Jumped The Shark

FLORIDUH’S NEXT SHOW TRIAL:

Another Stand Your Ground showdown?

WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE:

Poverty nation: How America created a low-wage work swamp
For decades, both parties supplanted a push for higher
wages with well-intended public aid. The result: calamity

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

When Detroit paved over paradise: The story of I-375

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
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Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, December 15, 2013

Set loose throughout the internet, the Not Now Silly interns have been collecting headlines nightly for the better part of two months now. They are provisioned with wicker baskets and told not to return until they’re full. It’s only then they are allowed any food and water. Which brings us to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

CONSTITUTIONALLY YOURS:

Judge says giant cross must be removed from San Diego mountain

HELLO, NSA? ARE YOU THERE? GOOGLE? HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?

Who’s Watching You Watch Porn?
Privacy experts warn that advertisers, even the
NSA, could be following your visits to adult sites.

I GOTCHER MEGYN KELLY CHRISTMAS RIGHT HERE:

Operation White Christmas targets white
supremacist gangs, authorities say

FREE THE WEED:

Uruguay’s Prez Rips Into U.N. Official Over Marijuana Law: ‘Stop Lying’

MORE DISPATCHES FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Federal Judge Describes, Then Supports Plot to Rob Detroit Pensioners

Red Wings arena deal with Ilitch family wins approval from Detroit downtown authority

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

Previously unknown DNA code could help humanity defy aging and death

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Hannity, Atheist Go Head-to-Head
in Heated Battle Over the War to
End All Wars on Christmas™

Bolling Battles Atheist over Christmas
Display: ‘Wow, How Mean Can You Be?’

Andrew Sullivan Calls Fox ‘One of the
Most Powerful Forces Against Christianity’

NO-LONGER PREGGY LEGGY MEGGY BACK IN THE NEWS:

What Megyn Kelly Did — And Didn’t — Learn
From The Reaction To Her White Santa Segment

Megyn Kelly Defends White Santa “Jest”: “Fox News,
And Yours Truly, Are Big Targets For Many People”

Megyn Kelly Is A Small Slender Liar!!!

Megyn Kelly Defends Her Santa Comments,
Attacks Critics For ‘Race Baiting’

Megyn Kelly doubles down on ‘white Santa’: I did it for the kids

FROM OUTER SPACE:

Warning: the universe could be about ready to collapse on us

A Rare Glimpse of the Moon Orbiting the Earth From Afar

China safely soft-lands rover on the moon

VIDEO DU JOUR

 

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of National Trufax, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Not Now Silly,
home of the Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic and your rest stop on the Information Highway. Use
our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open
thread.

Megyn Kelly Is A Small Slender Liar!!! *

Megyn Kelly of The Kelly File is simply lying. Last night she went on the air to say she was only joking the other night when she insisted — INSISTED!!! — that both Santa Claus and Jesus H. Christ ** are real and both are White dudes:

Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. I mean, Jesus was a white man, too. He was a historical figure and that’s verifiable fact, as is Santa – I just want the kids watching to know that.

If no-longer preggy Leggy Meggy were really joking, there would have been some indication of it, no matter how slight. A sly grin perhaps. An upturned eyebrow denoting sarcasm. Some telegraphing to her audience that this was a light-hearted segment, not to be taken too seriously. But take a look at the original clip again. She’s as serious as a Dick Cheney hearty attack. She’s not joking. She’s demonstrating anger and frustration. Even Loofah Lad’s lame Body Language reader would be able to catch it. Watch for yourself and decide whether she’s joking:

In defending her highly attuned sense of humour — and trashing the millions of people who simply took her remarks wrong — Leggy Meggy turned over the race card and played the victim:

Cue the firestorm of controversy over my declaring Santa’s skin color. Many questioning whether I understand that Santa is a mythical figure. Others suggesting I am a racist who is outraged at the idea of a black Santa.

This would be funny if it were not so telling about our society, in particular the kneejerk instinct by so many to race bait and to assume the worst in people. Especially people employed by the very powerful Fox News Channel.

Yeah, because everyone who saw the segment with their own lying eyes were simply mistaken, and that includes most of the internet. Both The Daily Show and The Colbert Report took shots at Kelly on the same night over her highly elevated sense of Crazy White Privilege and Entitlement. But, everybody is wrong. Nothing to see here. Move along.

However, to compound her extreme asshattery, Kelly practically ignores the valid criticism that she is 100% wrong to say Jesus was White, which is far more offensive than a casual statement declaring fictional Santa is a real White guy. This is all she said about that:

By the way, I also said Jesus is white. As I’ve learned in the past two days, that is far from settled.

Far from settled?!?! Not, “I said something bone-headed?”

Not once did Megyn Kelly take any ownership of any of the words that tumbled out of her own mouth. She hid behind the fig leaf of every scoundrel who has ever gotten a disapproving response to a racist joke: “HEY! I was just joking. Don’t you have a sense of humour?”

In Megyn Kelly’s White World of Privilege™ everyone else is at fault for misinterpreting her words, despite the fact that she’s paid good money to put across her thoughts in a cogent manner. If the entire internet got it wrong, maybe it was the messenger, Kelly. Maybe it was the message, too.

However, yannow who else didn’t think she was joking? Stormfront, described as “the first major hate site on the internet,” knew exactly what Megyn Kelly was saying and rushed to her defense.

* With apologies to Senator Al Franken

** For the record: I accept Jesus was an historic figure, just not a White one. Whether Santa is real: As I’ve learned in the past two days from talking to children, that is far from settled.

h/t  Priscilla at NewsHounds