Tag Archives: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, January 11, 2014

People have been curious about the process of curating Headlines Du Jour, which surprises me because I didn’t think people would be that interested. However, since you asked:

When my headline-collecting robot drones return from a night of headline collecting, they are loaded down with headlines from every genre. Then the culling begins. The first thing I do is throw out all the sports headlines. Then older headlines are discarded. Next, I toss out any headline you can find elsewhere. My readers don’t come here to find what they can get elsewhere; they come here for the headlines they won’t get anywhere else. Which brings us to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OLD:

GOP’s poverty scam: Why does it suddenly “care” about the poor?

‘No free lunch’ Republican bills taxpayers for
his food but tells poor kids to work for theirs

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Formal complaint filed about
Mayor Rob Ford’s use of staff

POLITICS IS AS POLITICS DOES:

Dirty Tricks, Traffic Studies, And Why Sociopaths Flourish In Politics

All the Governors’ Dark-Money Funds

Walker, Kasich, Snyder: These big-name governors embraced dark
money to push their agendas. They could pay for it in 2014.

Is Scott Walker next?

ROGER AILES IN THE NEWS:

CNNers: Ailes Book Likely Won’t Change Anyone’s Mind About Fox News

Ailes book: Fox chief to blame for
Fox’s election night meltdown

Past Book Sales Show Apathy Rules When It Comes to Roger Ailes

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox’s Scott Blames “Overly-Vindictive
Women” For Arrest Of Man Who
Violated Restraining Order

Fox: Where The Chris Christie Scandal
Is Really Just About Benghazi

FREE THE WEED!!!

Kentucky Republican offers to ‘fill this committee room’ with people affected by pot deaths

Senator Ted Cruz attacks Obama for not
locking up marijuana users in Colorado

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Interracial Couple Upset Over
‘Jungle Fever’ Note Left by Valet

WEATHER, OR NOT?

Scientists: Americans are becoming weather wimps

MOSTLY HARMLESS???

What if the rest of the
alien universe was
terrified of humans?

WHISTLE-BLOWERS BEWARE:

Australian Teen Reported To Police After
Exposing Security Hole In Website

MOVIE CORNER:

Unseen Alfred Hitchcock Holocaust documentary
‘Memory of the Camps’ to be released

VIDEO DU JOUR:

And, introducing Maureen O’Hara:

Headlines Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, January 5, 2014

It’s the beginning of the first full week of the new year. I’ve yet to hear back from The O’Jays, but that fight’s so new the ink hasn’t dried on my rant yet. If I don’t hear back from them soon, I’ll be sending the robot drones after them. No matter. Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

A man tried to rob a bank after paying
$500 to a wizard to make him invisible

GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE:

GOP’s “Duck Dynasty” problem: Why Phil
Robertson was a hugely important political story

Mike Duggan, Detroit’s First White Mayor in 40 Years, Takes Office

Duggan turns to cronies first

IT WAS BROKEN WHEN I GOT HERE. HONEST!!!

The Year We Broke the Internet
An explanation. An apology. A plea.

RELIGION CORNER:

Bill Nye To Debate Evolution At Kentucky Creation Museum

Pastor Tries to Walk on Water
Like Jesus, Then Drowns
in Front of His Congregation

SCIENCE IS COMPLICATED:

100-Million-Year Old Amber
Fossil Preserves Ancient
Flowers Caught In The Middle
Of Sexual Reproduction

Bizarre ‘Earthquake Light’ Mystery Has Been Solved! They Aren’t UFOs

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Rob Ford Kicks Off Toronto Mayoral Campaign With Misinformation

FOX “NEWS” IN THE NEWS:

Fox News and Right Wing Media Attack Journalists For Reporting the Truth About Benghazi

EDJUMAKATING THE MASSES:

Here’s Exactly How Much the Government Would
Have to Spend to Make Public College Tuition-Free

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines
Du Jour is a leisure-time activity of Not Now Silly, home of the
Steam-Powered Word-0-Matic, and your rest stop on the Information
Highway. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in
today’s open thread.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Is Normal ► Today’s Ablow Job

Welcome to another fun-filled episode of Ablow Job. Not since Loofah Lad dumped Body Language Expert Tonya Reiman has there been such an idiotic segment on the Fox “News” Channel as “Normal or Nuts.”

That’s the official name of the weekly Wednesday Laugh-0-Thon that is really Ablow Job. Here’s how it normally [no pun intended] works: Those Foxy Friends on the Fox and Friends Curvy Couch drag out pop psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow and ask him to weigh in viewers’ emails to determine whether the average Fox “News” viewer is — err — normal or nuts. No, really. That’s it.

This week they dispensed with emails for a special all-Toronto Mayor Rob Ford edition of Normal or Nuts. The Foxy Friends asked Ablow to diagnose the crack smoking, drunk driving, criminal-hiring Mayor-In-Denial of the city I consider home, based on a few video clips. While everyone in the civilized world has recognized Mayor Rob Ford as a (gravy) train wreck, Ablow seems to think that Ford is simply misunderstood. Not even The Three Stooges were nuts enough to pick up what Dr. Keith was laying down. Watch:

While he called Ford a narcissist, Ablow also thinks Ford is “refreshing” because:
He’s direct, he’s clear, he says, “I know who my enemies are. I’m engaged and this is a battle to the end.” And, yannow what? If I were someone opposed to him, I’d say, “Wait! The game is on.”
No, Ablow really said that.
When Ford knocked over a a collegue last week while barreling over to the public peanut gallery, Abow seemed to think there was nothing abnormal about that behaviour since:
Number One: This woman kinda swoons. She doesn’t quite hit the deck. She kinda falls in a slow motion fashion, she gets up, and tries to comfort him. She may have a job as a therrapist in the future. I think he was doing a Chris Christie imitation, where Christie confronts people directly who are heckling him. He does it much more elegantly, but this guy’s channeling American [sic] politics.
Never mind that the only reason the woman didn’t fall over completely was because Ford caught her after he knocked her down. Even Steve Doocy, not always the smartest of Stooges, knew Ablow was full of shit when he responded, “I’m worried about you, Keith.”

Yet, Ablow says nothing about the bullying that Ford was engaged in at that exact moment in time when he was rushing over to the public peanut gallery to defend his brother, who was already heckling the citizens of Toronto. Had he not been such a bully in a china shop, he wouldn’t have given that woman a fat lip.
 The last video example has Rob Ford blaming his woes on “tax and spend socialists” on Toronto City Council. Dr. Forehead doesn’t think Ford is being paranoid at all:
“I’m not having this guy in my office ’cause he doesn’t need to come. He’s looking more and more NORMAL all the time. He probably is right about his detractors. Here’s a guy who stands up, and says, “Look, I’m not going to be a two-faced guy . . .”
Meanwhile, Doocy is yelling, “Hold it!!! Hold it!!! What about the crack smoking?!?!?!”
“Well, at least he admits it,” is this psychiatrist’s reply, proving he’s never dealt with people in denial about their substance abuse problems and alcoholism. At that the entire Curvy Couch erupted in laughter. Even they’re smart enough to finally realize Dr. Keith is a fraud.

AN AUNTY EM VIDEO BONUS:


A song for everything and everything for a song!

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, November 11, 2013

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Today is Armistice Day in Belgium, France, New Zealand, and Serbia; Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth; Independence Day in Angola (1975) and Poland (1918); and Veterans Day in the United States.

And, now the news:

IN HEALTH CARE NEWS: 

Behind the scenes as the Koch Brothers, Sarah Palin and
Fox News fought to defeat progressive health care reform

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY???

HEY! HEY! LBJ!!!

When the president sat for Norman Rockwell, the
encounter resulted in a quintessentially American image

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:

NEWS FROM PLANET EARTH:

The new scorpion measures between 2-2.5 centimeters.

MAYOR’S CORNER:

Harping on Rob Ford’s drug of choice appeals to readers’
prurience, and ignores crack’s race and class associations

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

TODAY IN DISCRIMINATION NEWS:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, November 10, 2013

The biggest news in the world is the biggest typhoon ever recorded. Haiyan ripped a path of destruction across the Philippines and is now headed for Vietnam. 

WET FOOT/DRY FOOT:

STRIKE!!! STRIKE!!! STRIKE!!

TODAY IN TECH NEWS:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS!!!

SPEAKING OF DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

SPEAKING OF BULLIES:

THIS HAS TO BE ILLEGAL, RIGHT?

IN OTHER CRIME NEWS:

Family of 14-year-old sentenced to death in 1944 seek new trial
African-American teenager George Stinney was executed for killing two white
girls in South Carolina. His family said he was coerced into a confession.

CHICKEN LITTLE WAS RIGHT:

From one collapsing star, two black holes form and fuse
An emitted gravitational-wave signal and its potential detection will inform
researchers about the formation process of the first supermassive black holes
and may settle some important questions on the history of our universe.

TORONTO MAYOR CORNER:

Rob Ford probe: Release of censored documents now in judge’s hands
Media and Crown lawyers presented arguments Friday for whether blacked-out
information in the 500-page investigation document should be revealed.

Rob Ford scandal: How Toronto city council could strip his power
Many tools in city council’s arsenal over the long term

Pro-Rob Ford billboard probed for misusing Toronto’s logo
Misspelling of the word ‘responsibility’ on billboard inspires ridicule from critics

VIDEO DU JOUR:

David Letterman – Rob Ford Look-A-Like Top Ten

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, November 9, 2013

While you were sleeping the Not Now Silly interns injected themselves into the pneumatic innertubes. There, they spent the entire night gathering Headlines Du Jour from all over the world. When they were done, they left them here for you to discover as your day begins. You’re welcome.

BEST HEADLINE DU JOUR:

I’M SO GLAD WE ARE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

WHEN GUNS IN WASHINGTON, D.C., ARE OUTLAWED,
ONLY OUTLAWS WILL CARRY GUNS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.:


Man Who Planned Armed March On Washington Convicted Of Gun Charge

BULLY CORNER:

Cornwell shares more evidence of harassment of Martin

For Cam Cleeland, hazing incident altered his NFL career — and life
Cam Cleeland was a New Orleans Saints rookie 15 years ago when he nearly lost vision in an
eye after being hit with a bag full of coins. He has strong feelings on Miami’s Richie Incognito.

Ohio college student loses his testicle after fraternity initiation

WTF? Glenn Beck Spends Nearly 10 Minutes
Incoherently Playing With ‘Wizard of Oz’ Dolls

“The flying monkeys are coming,” Beck warned at the outset,
and the weirdness grew exponentially from there.

► From the Not Now Silly Wayback Machine ◄
The Day I Shook Hands With Glenn Beck

SPEAKING OF THE FLYING MONKEY SQUAD:

The Mark Koldys-Johnny Dollar Cyber-Bully Comments of the Day

TORONTO MAYOR’S CORNER:

► New Indiegogo campaign ◄
Rob Ford!! The Musical!! It’s Not Over ’til the Fat Man Sings!!
GRAVY TRAIN TOWN THEATRE Presents
“A Cracktacular Mayoral Musical Satire” by Bernard Maieaaz and Donna Lypchuk

A Farewell to Mayor Rob Ford’s Weekly Radio Show
Citing a “mutual” agreement, the Fords and Newstalk 1010 announced
today that the mayor’s Sunday radio show is no more. Here, some
thoughts on the end of an era, from our resident expert.

Rob Ford crack video hunt drew threats, offers of cash
Mohamed Farah, who tried to broker sale of video to media, speaks with CBC’s the fifth estate

THE LATEST IN WORLD WAR TWO NEWS:

Mystery of Gestapo chief’s fate is ‘solved’, shocking German Jews

IN EDUCATION NEWS:

Kansas school suspends 13-year-old boy for wearing Vera Bradley purse

OOOOPS!!!

Trenton fire leads to discovery of hallucinogenic drug production facility, authorities said

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Friday, November 8, 2013

When the Not Now Silly interns spread out at night out into the innertubes, they are tasked with collecting Headlines Du Jour. One never knows exactly what they’ll come back with. Here is today’s catch:

FROM THE EX-PRESIDENTS’ FILE:

George W. Bush to Raise Money for Group That Converts Jews to Bring About Second Coming of Christ
The former president follows in the footsteps of Glenn Beck, who addressed the group last year.

TODAY’S WEATHER REPORT:

AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!!

After 75 Years, ‘The Wizard of Oz’ Still Has Secrets to Tell
Marching orders for the authors of ‘The Wizard of Oz: The Official 75th Anniversary Companion’: Find new material about a film that’s been endlessly analyzed

 

FORBES KNOWS FINANCE:

NEWS FROM OUTER SPACE:

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

SILLY PROSECUTOR CORNER:

Franklin lawyer mocks prosecutor with
demand to be called ‘Captain Justice’

Criticized in court for calling prosecutors ‘The Government,’ a Franklin lawyer demands a new title for himself

WHAT’S NEW IN FORD NATION?

“I need f—in 10 minutes to make sure he’s
dead’: New Rob Ford video surfaces

Ford snaps the rubber band of human tolerance: Mallick
There appears to be no limit to the shameful and extraordinary
spectacle that is the mayoralty of Rob Ford.

Rob Ford’s mom says weight is his biggest problem

Rob Ford’s mother says mayor needs to
‘smarten up’ — but not go to rehab

Diane Ford says her son needs to get a driver, lose
weight, get an alcohol tester on his car, stop hanging
with bad friends, and maybe get some counselling.

No honour in hiding behind your mother, Rob Ford

IN HIGH FINANCE:

IN SLAVERY NEWS:

FROM THE FAR-FLUNG STATES:

ANOTHER POT RELATED DEATH:

Man jailed for minor pot charge died when guards ignored allergies
Michael Saffioti, 22, faced a misdemeanor charge in Washington, guards said he was “faking” serious food allergy

IN SEX NEWS:

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Thursday, November 7, 2013

Headlines Du Jour is a cornucopia of news headlines lovingly picked at the height of freshness for your reading pleasure. Headlines Du Jour comprising many topics and many interests, but from news paths less traveled.

IN ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS:

Island of debris the size of TEXAS from 2011
Japanese tsunami is headed straight for the U.S.

• Part of the over one million tons of debris dispersed in the Pacific,
the trash island is located northeast of the Hawaiian Islands
• The first documented tsunami debris to reach California arrived in April 2013
• Boats, a dock, a soccer ball, and motorcycle have all been
identified on the West Coast as confirmed tsunami debris

IN EDUCATION PRISON NEWS:

MAYORS’ CORNER:

► This is not a comedy skit ◄
Mayor Ford leads children through his office
As part of Take Our Kids To Work Day, the confessed crack
cocaine user showed some kids where he works and parties. Sure!

The world tries in vain to understand Rob Ford
Outside Canada, the Rob Ford saga continues to mystify and amuse

Analysis – Rob Ford crack scandal:
Why Toronto’s mayor finally fessed up

Inside the ‘mind-boggling’ PR strategy of Toronto’s embattled mayor over past 6 months

► From the Wayback Machine ◄

► Troy, Michigan shows Toronto how it’s done ◄
A TORY deputy mayor has sparked outrage by calling for disabled
kids to be guillotined to avoid wasting cash on their care.

BULLY CORNER:

Florida law could make Richie Incognito pay triple teammate’s salary in damages

PAT ROBERTSON FOR PRESIDENT NEWS:

IN POKER NEWS:

23-year-old Ryan Riess wins $8.4 million prize

WAIT!!! WHAT???

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Mayor McCheese blames the Hamburglar for asking wrong questions

Welcome to today’s exciting edition of Headlines Du Jour, where only the freshest headlines are picked at the exact moment of ripeness for your news reading pleasure.

TORONTO’S MAYOR MC CHEESE ADMITS TO SMOKING CRACK:

Rob Ford : ‘Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine.’
Rob Ford said he smoked crack about a
year ago. “I don’t even remember.
Probably in one of my drunken stupors.”

 

Full transcript of Mayor Rob Ford admitting he smoked crack cocaine

Doug Ford calls on Toronto police chief to step down
Says Chief Blair believes he’s ‘judge, jury and executioner’ in case involving Mayor Rob Ford

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford ‘could easily get re-elected’
The mayor’s base of support hasn’t eroded much, say experts

COCONUT GROVE’S SOILGATE AFFECTS POOR AND RICH:

Du Pont Mansion in Coconut Grove Is Buried in Poison

BUT, THERE ARE PLENTY OF PLANETS WE HAVEN’T POLLUTED YET:

8.8 billion habitable Earth-size planets exist in Milky Way alone

ON THE ELECTION TRAIL:

Alabama GOP Special Election Candidate Told
Gays To ‘Go Back To California Or Vermont’

IN LGBT NEWS:

‘You Would Have To Kill Me’: Hawaii Police Union
President Speaks Against Gay Marriage Laws

IN HEALTH INSURANCE NEWS:

The Real Story Behind the Phony
Canceled Health Insurance Scandal

Insurance companies ripped off Americans for years
with lousy health plans. Obamacare was designed to fix that.

FROM THE FOUR FOOD GROUPS:

Family evacuated as deadly spiders hatch from Sainbury’s bananas
Terrified family flee London home after finding dozens of world’s most venomous
spiders hatching and crawling all over banana bought in supermarket chain

FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

John Carlisle: Utopia-seeking squatters struggle
to create oasis in rough Detroit neighborhood

CRAZY POLITICIANS’ CORNER:

Ted Cruz’s Father is a Dangerous Religious Fanatic

Fresh Plagiarism Charges Raised Against Rand Paul

He Did It Again: Rand Paul Caught Plagiarizing
Word for Word in Washington Times Op-Ed

Gun-loving rock star Ted Nugent on possible
run for president: ‘Sure, why not?’

15 Things You Need To Know About David Barton,
The Man Who Could Be Texas’s Next Senator

 

TODAY’S EXCITING EDITION OF COPS GONE WILD:

4 On Your Side looks into traffic stop
gone horribly wrong for Lordsburg man

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Colbert Trolls Fox News By Offering
@RealHumanPraise On Twitter, And It’s Brilliant 

 

 

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Read tomorrow’s headlines today. Today’s Headlines Du Jour were all lovingly hand-picked by Aunty Em Ericann — at just the height of ripeness — for your news reading pleasure and left right on your doorstep, just like the good ol’ days.

TODAY’S EXCITING EPISODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Florida Cops Made Millions Dealing Cocaine:
The Latest Asset Forfeiture Outrage


TODAY’S TECH NEWS:

“Our Understanding of Gravity is Fundamentally Wrong” —
Two Conflicting Theories of the Universe

IN RELIGIOUS NEWS:

Generation atheist! Millennials to religion — get out of politics
Millennials are much less attached to religion than their
elders — the politicization of the church might be why

OBAMACARE NEWS:

Under Health Care Act, Millions Eligible for Free Policies

THE BEST ANSWER TO A QUESTION THAT SHOULD NEVER BE ASKED:

Mike Michaud: Yes, I am gay. ‘But why should it matter?’

THE LATEST FROM TORONTO MAYOR ROB FORD’S CLOWN CAR:

 

► OPINION ◄
Give Rob Ford what he wants: release the video
Oozing deceit even as he professes sincerity, Ford exhausts the patience of all including
the kindly octogenarian who urged him to take a leave, saying “the city will survive.”

TODAY IN TRAITOR NEWS:

Michael Vannak Khem Misiewicz, Navy Commander,
Accused Of Selling Secrets For Prostitutes, Lady Gaga Tickets

THE LATEST IN FOX “NEWS” NEWS:

Gretchen Carlson gets shut down after calling
LGBT rights and climate change ‘distractions’

Ed Schultz Fires Back at ‘Coward’ Hannity
for Declining Debate Challenge

The Simpsons Brutally Mocks
CNN, MSNBC and Especially Fox News

WHO IS A BIGGER WACKO BIRD?

Move over, Ted Cruz: Rand Paul’s wacko public meltdown
The proven plagiarist trashes his “haters” and wishes he could
challenge them to a duel. Who’s the wacko-bird now?

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Street musician gets surprise backup vocals from famous singer

 

 

Headlines Du Jour is a semi-regular
feature at Not Now Silly. Updated through the day. Use our valuable
bandwidth to post your news comments in today’s open thread.