Category Archives: Headline Roundup

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, June 1, 2014

June 1, 2014420, Bill O'Reilly, Canada, Cops Gone Wild, Falafel King, Florida, Frank Morgan, Free the Weed, GOP, Guns, Headlines, Headlines Du Jour, LGBT, Loofah Lad, Outer Space, Religion, Republicans, TeabaggersHeadly Westerfield

Welcome back, Headliners! Our birthday boy today is Frank Morgan, who played the title role in The Wizard of Oz. AUNTY EM!!! AUNTY EM!!! Here are some other Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear.

1495 – Friar John Cor records the first known batch of Scotch whisky.

1533 – Anne Boleyn is crowned Queen of England.

1660 – Mary Dyer is hanged for defying a law banning Quakers from the Massachusetts Bay Colony.

1779 – Benedict Arnold, a general in the Continental Army during the American Revolutionary War, is court-martialed for malfeasance.

1792 – Kentucky is admitted as the 15th state of the United States.

1796 – Tennessee is admitted as the 16th state of the United States.

1812 – War of 1812: The U.S. President James Madison asks the Congress to declare war on the United Kingdom.

1813 – James Lawrence, the mortally-wounded commander of the USS Chesapeake, gives his final order: “Don’t give up the ship!”

1890 – The United States Census Bureau begins using Herman Hollerith‘s tabulating machine to count census returns.

1916 – Louis Brandeis becomes the first Jew appointed to the United States Supreme Court.

1921 – Tulsa Race Riot: civil unrest in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

1941 – The Farhud, a pogrom of Iraqi Jews, takes place in Baghdad.

1943 – British Overseas Airways Corporation Flight 777 is shot down over the Bay of Biscay by German Junkers Ju 88s, killing the actor Leslie Howard and leading to speculation that its shooting down was an attempt to kill the British Prime Minister Winston Churchill.

1958 – Charles de Gaulle comes out of retirement to lead France by decree for six months.

1962 – The Pilkington Committee on Broadcasting concludes, among other things, that the British public did not want commercial radio broadcasting.

1967 – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles is released.

1974 – The Heimlich maneuver for rescuing choking victims is published in the journal Emergency Medicine.

1979 – The first black-led government of Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) in 90 years takes power.

1980 – Cable News Network (CNN) begins broadcasting.

2009 – General Motors files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. It is the fourth largest United States bankruptcy in history.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour.

OH! OH!! CANADA!!!

America’s middle-class defeat: How Canada shamed the wealthiest nation on earth

GOP STANDS FOR “GRIFTERS OUR PROBLEMS”

The GOP’s Grifter Problem

Why the Republican Party attracts provocateurs, faux martyrs, and grifters in droves.

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Saturday, May 24, 2014

May 24, 2014420, Allen West, Bully Boy Bolling, Cheech and Chong, Detroit, Eric Bolling, Free the Weed, GOP, Headlines Du Jour, Income Inequality, Karl Rove, Kimberly Guilfoyle, LGBT, Outer Space, Religion, Tommy ChongHeadly Westerfield

Hello there, Headliners!!! Let’s spark one up for birthday boy Tommy Chong, who turns 76 today. Among other Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear include:

1607 – 100 English settlers disembark in Jamestown, the first English colony in America.

1626 – Peter Minuit buys Manhattan.

1830 – Mary Had a Little Lamb by Sarah Josepha Hale is published.

1844 – Samuel Morse sends the message “What hath God wrought” (a biblical quotation, Numbers 23:23) from the Old Supreme Court Chamber in the United States Capitol to his assistant, Alfred Vail, in Baltimore, Maryland, to inaugurate the first telegraph line.

1856 – John Brown and his men kill five slavery supporters at Pottawatomie Creek, Kansas.

1883 – The Brooklyn Bridge in New York City is opened to traffic after 14 years of construction.

1921 – The trial of Sacco and Vanzetti opens.

1935 – The first night game in Major League Baseball history is played in Cincinnati, Ohio, with the Cincinnati Reds beating the Philadelphia Phillies 2-1 at Crosley Field.

1940 – Acting on the orders of Soviet leader Joseph Stalin, NKVD agent Iosif Grigulevich orchestrates an unsuccessful assassination attempt on exiled Russian revolutionary Leon Trotsky in Coyoacán, Mexico.

1943 – The Holocaust: Josef Mengele becomes chief medical officer of the Auschwitz concentration camp.

1961 – American civil rights movement: Freedom Riders are arrested in Jackson, Mississippi, for “disturbing the peace” after disembarking from their bus.

1962 – Project Mercury: American astronaut Scott Carpenter orbits the Earth three times in the Aurora 7 space capsule.

1988 – Section 28 of the United Kingdom’s Local Government Act 1988, a controversial amendment stating that a local authority cannot intentionally promote homosexuality, is enacted.

1994 – Four men convicted of bombing the World Trade Center in New York in 1993 are each sentenced to 240 years in prison.

Without any further delay, let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

GOP STANDS FOR “GOT OUR PRIORITIES”

GOP-led science committee has held more hearings on aliens than climate change

THE GOP BOLDFACED LIE DU JOUR:

Desperate Liar Mitch McConnell Gets
Caught In His Own Obamacare Trap

IN LGBT NEWS:

Ugandan gay activists denied
visas to World Pride conference

Legal Fights Over Gay
Marriage Spread Across U.S.

IN INCOME INEQUALITY:

“Bloodiest thing the world has seen”: David
Cay Johnston on inequality’s looming disaster

FREE THE WEED!!!

Where the War on Pot Will Go to Die

TODAY IN RELIGION:

‘Fight Church’ pastor tried to
entice others into swinger
relationships, former members claim

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT,
‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Koch brothers’ Detroit
abomination: Stunning
avarice and cruelty
reaches new low

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Memo To Eric Bolling: Burning Cross
Proves Racism Alive And Well In USA

KKKARL ROVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Meghan McCain: ‘I Hate Karl Rove,’
His Hillary Comments Are ‘Disgusting’

DISGUSTING ALLEN WEST IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Fox’s Allen West Attacks Decorated
Vet Rep. Tammy Duckworth: I
“Don’t Know Where Her Loyalties Lie”

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

PolitiFact Rates Fox News
Host’s Claim ‘Pants On Fire’

IN OUTER SPACE:

NASA creates Earth’s ‘Global Selfie’
zoom-in mosaic from 32,000 pictures

Universe is Not Expanding
After All, Scientists Say

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, May 13, 2014

May 13, 2014Ann Coulter, Bully Boy Bolling, Bullying, CNN, Cyber-bullying, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Eric Bolling, Eric Cantor, Headlines Du Jour, LGBT, Outer Space, Religion, Steve Doocy, Stevie Wonder, Teabaggers, Todd StarnesHeadly Westerfield

Hello, Headliners. Today’s birthday is celebrated by Stevland Hardaway Judkins, but you all know him as Stevie Wonder. Here are some of the other Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

1780 – The Cumberland Compact is signed by leaders of the settlers in early Tennessee.

1846 – Mexican–American War: The United States declares war on Mexico.
1861 – The Great Comet of 1861 is discovered by John Tebbutt of Windsor, New South Wales, Australia.

1880 – In Menlo Park, New Jersey, Thomas Edison performs the first test of his electric railway.

1917 – Three children report the first apparition of Our Lady of Fátima in Fátima, Portugal.
1939 – The first commercial FM radio station in the United States is launched in Bloomfield, Connecticut. The station later becomes WDRC-FM.

1954 – The original Broadway production of The Pajama Game opens and runs for another 1,063 performances. Later received three Tony Awards for Best Musical, Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical, and Best Choreography.

1958 – During a visit to Caracas, Venezuela, Vice President Richard Nixon‘s car is attacked by anti-American demonstrators.

1958 – The trade mark Velcro is registered.
1960 – Hundreds of University of California, Berkeley students congregate for the first day of protest against a visit by the House Committee on Un-American Activities. Thirty-one students are arrested, and the Free Speech Movement is born.
1981 – Mehmet Ali Ağca attempts to assassinate Pope John Paul II in St. Peter’s Square in Rome. The Pope is rushed to the Agostino Gemelli University Polyclinic to undergo emergency surgery and survives.

1985 – Police release a bomb on MOVE headquarters in Philadelphia to end a stand-off, killing 11 MOVE members and destroying the homes of 250 city residents.
1994 – Johnny Carson makes his last television appearance on Late Show with David Letterman.

Let’s get to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

LGBT NEWS:

Eric Bolling Hosts Benham Brothers
For Whine About ‘Gay Agenda’

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?

Eric Cantor Booed, Heckled By Tea
Partiers In His Home District

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Bigots Claim Rams Violated their
Religious Freedoms by Drafting Gay Player

Heaven is for neuroscience: How
the brain creates visions of God

BULLY CORNER:

Bullying’s Long-Term Effects Seen
in Both the Bullied and the Bully

Clip Of Young Children
Describing Disturbing
Bullying At School Goes Viral

The Johnny Dollar Wars

CNN IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

CNN’s Jeff Zucker Explains in
One Sentence Everything That’s
Wrong with the News Media

TODDLES IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

“God Less America”: An Ugly Look At What
Still Motivates The Right’s Culture Warriors

STEVE DOOCY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Steve Doocy Declares ‘Miracle’ When
Boulder Narrowly Misses Christian Church

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Promotes Catholic
Outrage Over Harvard Extension’s Satanic Mass

ANN COULTER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Ann Coulter’s Attempt To Make Fun Of
#BringBackOurGirls Goes Beautifully Wrong

IN OUTER SPACE:

Square ‘Hole’ In Sun Spotted
By NASA Spacecraft (VIDEO)

New Meteor Shower from Comet
Could Dazzle Stargazers Next Week

Neil deGrasse Tyson Sends Right-Wing Flagship Newspaper Into Tizzy Over Evolution and Climate Change

Washington Times contributor finds it
frustrating that scientists don’t default to God.

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, April 27, 2014

April 27, 2014420, Bill O'Reilly, Bully Boy Bolling, Columbus, Eric Bolling, Free the Weed, Glenn Beck, GOP, Gun Nuttery, Guns, Headlines, Headlines Du Jour, Jamie Foxx, Loofah Lad, Outer Space, Racism, Sean Hannity, SportsHeadly Westerfield

Hello again, Headliners.Today’s birthday girl is Memphis Soul singer Ann Peebles. Before we get to today’s Headlines Du Jour, let’s take a look at more of them from yesteryear than usual:

1521 – Battle of Mactan: Explorer Ferdinand Magellan is killed by natives in the Philippines led by chief Lapu-Lapu.

1667 – The blind and impoverished John Milton sells the copyright of Paradise Lost for £10.

1813 – War of 1812: American troops capture the capital of Upper Canada in the Battle of York (present day Toronto, Canada).

1861 – American President Abraham Lincoln suspends the writ of habeas corpus.

1865 – The steamboat SS Sultana, carrying 2,400 passengers, explodes and sinks in the Mississippi River, killing 1,700, most of whom are Union survivors of the Andersonville and Cahaba Prisons.

1936 – The United Auto Workers (UAW) gains autonomy from the American Federation of Labor.

1945 – World War II: Benito Mussolini is arrested by Italian partisans in Dongo, while attempting escape disguised as a German soldier.

1950 – Apartheid: In South Africa, the Group Areas Act is passed formally segregating races.

1967 – Expo 67 officially opens in Montreal, Canada with a large opening ceremony broadcast around the world. It opens to the public the next day.

1974 – Ten thousand march in Washington, D.C., calling for the impeachment of U.S. President Richard Nixon

1978 – Former United States President Nixon aide John D. Ehrlichman is released from an Arizona prison after serving 18 months for Watergate-related crimes.

1981 – Xerox PARC introduces the computer mouse.

1987 – The U.S. Department of Justice bars Austrian President Kurt Waldheim from entering the United States, saying he had aided in the deportation and execution of thousands of Jews and others as a German Army officer during World War II.

1992 – The Federal Republic of Yugoslavia, comprising Serbia and Montenegro, is proclaimed.

1994 – South African general election, 1994: The first democratic general election in South Africa, in which black citizens could vote. The Interim Constitution comes into force.

2006 – Construction begins on the Freedom Tower for the new World Trade Center in New York City.

Without any further ado, let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

LISTEN: L.A. Clippers
Owner Goes on Racist Rant

Clippers Release Statement on Sterling: We Don’t Know if Audio’s Legitimate or ‘Altered’

Anger toward Donald Sterling spreads through social media

AND, IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS:

Obama responds to
alleged racist comments
by Clippers’ Don Sterling

‘F*ck You!’ Snoop Dogg Reams Clippers Owner: ‘Whitebread Chickensh*t Motherf*cker’

CNN’s Don Lemon Blasts Sterling: ‘Felt Like I Was Listening to Someone from the 1930s’

IRONY ALERTS:

NAACP LA Scheduled to
Give Sterling a Lifetime
Achievement Award Next Month

KKK Shooting Suspect Was
Once Busted ‘Mid-Act’
with Black Male Prostitute

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OBSOLETE:

Texas Republican Says Ranchers
Should be Able to Shoot ‘Wetbacks,’
Calls Obama a ‘Socialist Son of a B*tch’

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

This Is Republican America: Man Causes
Panic With Gun At Kids’ Baseball Game

IT’S A GOOD START:

Minneapolis changes Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day

FREE THE WEED!!!

Retired Supreme Court justice
says US should legalize marijuana

Stoner comic Tommy Chong backs
Colorado medical marijuana shop

‘Kid Cannabis’ chronicles rise and
fall of young Idaho drug smuggler

GLENN BECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Alex Jones Calls Glenn
Beck a ‘Judas Goat’ for
Not Backing Bundy

From the Not Now Silly archives:
The Day I Shook Hands
With Glenn Beck

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Truth Be Told: The Real Reason Behind Sean Hannity’s Obsession with Cliven Bundy

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Colbert Commends
‘Dumbass’ Eric Bolling’s
Earth Day Opposition

Bolling Fires Back at Colbert: ‘I’d Hate to Be the Dumbass’ Watching Your Show

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

O’Reilly: Beyoncé
‘Harming’ America’s
Children with Racy Videos

Jamie Foxx Does a Spot-On Bill O’Reilly Impression on Fallon

IN OUTER SPACE:

NASA’s Spitzer, WISE Find
Sun’s Close, Cold Neighbor

VIDEO DU JOUR:

An Ann Peebles Playlist:

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, April 14, 2014

April 14, 2014420, ABC News, Albert Einstein, Bill O'Reilly, Brit Hume, CERN, Fracking, Free the Weed, Hadron Collider, Headlines Du Jour, Income Inequality, Laura Ingraham, LGBT, Loofah Lad, Racism, Religion, Teabaggers, TwitterHeadly Westerfield

Howdy Headliners! Today is the birthday of Albert Einstein, who is still being proven right by the Large Hadron Collider more than 100 years after unveiling his Theory of Relativity. Other events on this day:

44 BC – Casca and Cassius decide, on the night before the Assassination of Julius Caesar, that Mark Antony should stay alive.

1794 – Eli Whitney is granted a patent for the cotton gin.

1900 – The Gold Standard Act is ratified, placing United States currency on the gold standard.

1936 – The first all-sound film version of Show Boat opens at Radio City Music Hall. (There had been a part-talkie, part-silent version of Show Boat in 1929.)

1943 – World War II: The Kraków Ghetto is “liquidated”.

1964 – A jury in Dallas finds Jack Ruby guilty of killing Lee Harvey Oswald, the assumed assassin of John F. Kennedy.

1967 – The body of U.S. President John F. Kennedy is moved to a permanent burial place at Arlington National Cemetery.

1984 – Gerry Adams, head of Sinn Féin, is seriously wounded in an assassination attempt in central Belfast.

1994 – Timeline of Linux development: Linux kernel version 1.0.0 is released.

1995 – Space Exploration: Astronaut Norman Thagard becomes the first American astronaut to ride to space on board a Russian launch vehicle.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY???

Disgusting Tea Party Candidate
Said Female Politician Only Got
On Ballot Because of Her ‘Boobies’

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Is America Really A Christian Nation?

Jodi Jones killer Luke Mitchell demands right to study
Satanic textbooks in prison due to his ‘religious beliefs’

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

Spanish Town Of Matajudíos Considering Changing Its Name To Anything But ‘Jew Killer’

‘Racist’ swans attacking students at university

TODAY IN LGBT EQUALITY:

Federal Judge Set to Order Ohio to Recognize Gay Marriage Done in Other States of America

TODAY IN INCOME INEQUALITY:

Let Them Eat Apple Pie

Income inequality in the U.S. is now as bad as it was in aristocratic Europe. Are the bread riots finally coming?

FREE THE WEED!!!

Marijuana Vending Machine
Unveiled In Colorado

Extravaganja 2014: Changing views on marijuana lead push toward legalization

The Five States Most Likely
to Next Legalize Marijuana

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA:

44 Percent of Twitter Accounts
Have Never Tweeted

GET THE FRACK OUTTA HERE:

Ohio confirms “probable connection” between
fracking and earthquakes

ABC NEWS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Meet ABC News’ Newest Contributor, Laura Ingraham

10 Moments That Illustrate The Right-
Wing Radio Host’s Fringe Viewpoints
And Disdain For Civil Discourse

BRIT HUME IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Brit Hume: Obama, Holder ‘Benefited Enormously’ From Being African American

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bill O’Reilly Says Jesus ‘Forged’ The Constitution! Seriously?

IN INNER SPACE:

The Large Hadron Collider
may have found a new
form of matter

How CERN’s Discovery
of Exotic Particles May
Affect Astrophysics

IN OUTER SPACE:

NASA hosting two online events for Blood Moon

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, April 13, 2014

April 13, 2014420, Bill O'Reilly, CIA, Cops Gone Wild, Detroit, Florida, Free the Weed, George W. Bush, GOP, Headlines Du Jour, Jerry Lewis, Loofah Lad, Mike Huckabee, Religion, Rupert Murdoch, Sean Hannity, Teabaggers, The FiveHeadly Westerfield

Hello Headliners. It’s the birthday of Butch Cassidy, born on this day in 1866. He knew a thing or two about the Headlines of Du Jour of yesteryear.

1613 – Samuel Argall captures Native American princess Pocahontas in Passapatanzy, Virginia to ransom her for some English prisoners held by her father. She is brought to Henricus as hostage.

1796 – The first elephant ever seen in the United States arrives from India.

1870 – The New York City Metropolitan Museum of Art is founded.

1873 – The Colfax massacre, in which more than 60 African Americans are murdered, takes place.

1919 – Eugene V. Debs is imprisoned at the Atlanta Federal Penitentiary in Atlanta, Georgia, for speaking out against the draft during World War I.

1943 – The Jefferson Memorial is dedicated in Washington, D.C., on the 200th anniversary of President Thomas Jefferson‘s birth.

1953 – CIA director Allen Dulles launches the mind-control program MKULTRA.

1960 – The United States launches Transit 1-B, the world’s first satellite navigation system.

1964 – At the Academy Awards, Sidney Poitier becomes the first African-American male to win the Best Actor award for the 1963 film Lilies of the Field.

1970 – An oxygen tank aboard Apollo 13 explodes, putting the crew in great danger and causing major damage to the spacecraft while en route to the Moon.

1974 – Western Union (in cooperation with NASA and Hughes Aircraft) launches the United States’ first commercial geosynchronous communications satellite, Westar 1.

1997 – Tiger Woods becomes the youngest golfer to win the Masters Tournament.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OBSTRUCTIONISTS:

Evidence of GOP Interference in
VW Election Is Now Overwhelming

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?

Conservatives Attack Obamacare,
Eye 2016 At High-Profile Summit

THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEGACY:

CIA and White House Under Pressure
After Senate Torture Report Leaks

Senate committee found CIA interrogations and detentions to be ‘brutal’ and urges administration to release report as quickly as possible.

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Florida bill would allow hidden guns for
all in times of turmoil, widespread panic

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Iowa Governor Signs Away
Separation of Church and State

Pope Francis assumes
responsibility for priest sex abuse

ANOTHER EXCITING EPSIODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

Former Ore. deputy, 42,
and 17-year-old girl missing

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

9 ways scrappers are destroying Detroit area

FREE THE WEED!!!

A MAD Magazine Look At Legal Weed

BONUS VIDEO DU JOUR:

FROM THE HATERS:

Right-wing pundit Ben
Shapiro says Colbert’s act
is “vile political blackface”

Translating Michelle Malkin’s Hate Filled, Racist Eulogy
of Obama’s Aunt

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA:

The Nine Worst South Florida
Social Media Catastrophes

CAN YOU DIG IT:

Archeologists unearth rare Egyptian sarcophagus and gold seal in Israel

RUPERT MURDOCH IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Rupert Murdoch Is Dead
Wrong About Fox News’
Promotion Of The Tea Party

Murdoch: Fox “Absolutely Saved” The GOP

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bill O’Reilly Needs to Know
the Law Before Reforming It

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Hannity’s Dangerous Game
Touting A Rogue Rancher
And His Violent Threats

HUCKLEBERRY HOUND IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

WATCH: Huckabee Says North Korea Has
‘More Freedom’ Than U.S., Twitter Explodes

Mike Huckabee says I’m
Not Homophobic, God is

Mike Huckabee: How can Obama
support same-sex marriage
and call himself a Christian?

THE FIVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

The Outrageous Way Fox’s The
Five Discusses Race In America

Fox Hosts Ask “Who Cares” About Racism, Claim
Obama Administration Set Back National Racial Relations

NBC IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Boston Marathon Survivor Adrianne Haslet-Davis Leaves ‘Meet The Press’ Set In Tears

JERRY LEWIS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Jerry Lewis: Women Are
Funny, But Not When Crude

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Monday, April 7, 2014

April 7, 2014Bill O'Reilly, Billie Holiday, Detroit, Headlines, Headlines Du Jour, Income Inequality, LGBT, Loofah Lad, Mormons, MSNBC, Outer Space, Religion, SCOTUS, Tea Party, TeabaggersHeadly Westerfield

Howdy there, Headliners. It’s the birthday of songstress Billie Holiday. Lady Day was born on this day in 1915 and, because she loved the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear, we have a larger than usual assortment today:

529 – First draft of the Corpus Juris Civilis (a fundamental work in jurisprudence) is issued by Eastern Roman Emperor Justinian I.
1788 – American Pioneers to the Northwest Territory arrive at the confluence of the Ohio and Muskingum rivers, establishing Marietta, Ohio, as the first permanent American settlement of the new United States in the Northwest Territory, and opening the westward expansion of the new country.
1805 – Lewis and Clark Expedition: The Corps of Discovery breaks camp among the Mandan tribe and resumes its journey West along the Missouri River.
1829 – Joseph Smith, Jr., founder of the Latter Day Saint movement, commences translation of the Book of Mormon, with Oliver Cowdery as his scribe.
1868 – Thomas D’Arcy McGee, one of the Canadian Fathers of Confederation is assassinated by Irish Republicans, in one of the few Canadian political assassinations, and the only one of a federal politician.
1927 – First distance public television broadcast (from Washington, D.C., to New York City, displaying the image of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover).
1933 – Prohibition in the United States is repealed for beer of no more than 3.2% alcohol by weight, eight months before the ratification of the XXI amendment.
1940 – Booker T. Washington becomes the first African American to be depicted on a United States postage stamp.
1964 – IBM announces the System/360.
1967 – Film critic Roger Ebert published his very first film review in the Chicago Sun-Times.
1969 – The Internet‘s symbolic birth date: publication of RFC 1.
1971 – President Richard Nixon announces his decision to increase the rate of American troop withdrawals from Vietnam.
1980 – The United States severs relations with the Islamic Republic of Iran.
1983 – During STS-6, astronauts Story Musgrave and Don Peterson perform the first space shuttle spacewalk.
1990 – Iran Contra Affair: John Poindexter is found guilty of five charges for his part in the scandal (the conviction is later reversed on appeal).
2001 – Mars Odyssey is launched.
2003 – U.S. troops capture Baghdad; Saddam Hussein‘s regime falls two days later.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

IN LGBT NEWS:

A Vicious Homophobic Statement
by a South Carolina State Senator

Harvey Milk Will Be The First Openly
Gay Official To Appear On A U.S. Stamp

Mozilla CEO faced ‘new fascism,’ Gingrich says

Chill Out About Firefox, Everybody

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?

Paul Ryan: Still a Total Jerk

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Mormon Leader Outlines
Opposition To Gay Marriage

Church Asks Activist Group to Reconsider Plans to Protest at General Conference

$COTU$ WATCH:

Bill Maher: John Roberts’
McCutcheon Ruling Could’ve Been
‘Written By The Little Mermaid’

TODAY IN INCOME INEQUALITY:

Tea Party leaders: Liberals risk God’s wrath with ‘covetous’ opposition to income inequality

HELPING OUR ENVIRONMENT:

Monarch butterflies could use your help – here’s what you can do

HURTING OUR ENVIRONMENT:

Whooping cough bounces back

A DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Would a vineyard
on Belle Isle work?

THE NEWS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Vox Takes Melding
of Journalism and
Technology to a New Level

MSNBC IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

How Dumping Keith Olbermann and Martin Bashir Killed MSNBC

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bill O’Reilly Mocks The Poor
At “Benefit For Poor (?) Kids”

THE EVUL LIBRUL LEFT-WING MEDIA:

15 things everyone would know if there were a liberal media

DOES NOT COMPUTE:

R.I.P. Windows XP 2001-2014. What can you do now?

IN INNER SPACE:

Scientists smash barrier to growing organs from stem cells

IN OUTER SPACE:

Saturn Moon Harbors Ocean, Raising Possibility of Life

VIDEO DU JOUR:

VIDEO DU JOUR BONUS:

Headlines Du Jour ► Wednesday, April 2, 2014

April 2, 2014420, Bill O'Reilly, Detroit, Evolution, Free the Weed, GOP, Headlines, Headlines Du Jour, Hobby Lobby, Leon Russell, LGBT, Loofah Lad, Louie Gohmert, Outer Space, Racism, Religion, Steve DoocyHeadly Westerfield

G’day Headliners!!! It’s the 72nd birthday of Leon Russell, who started out as a session player before putting out records under his own name. As a member of the Crypt-Kickers Five, Russell is on record praising the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

1513 – Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de León first sights land in what is now Florida.
1792 – The Coinage Act is passed establishing the United States Mint.
1902 – “Electric Theatre”, the first full-time movie theater in the United States, opens in Los Angeles, California.
1917 – World War I: United States President Woodrow Wilson asks the U.S. Congress for a declaration of war on Germany.
1930 – After the mysterious death of Empress Zewditu, Haile Selassie is proclaimed emperor of Ethiopia.
1956 – As the World Turns and The Edge of Night premiere on CBS-TV. The two soaps become the first daytime dramas to debut in the 30-minute format.
1972 – Actor Charlie Chaplin returns to the United States for the first time since being labeled a communist during the Red Scare in the early 1950s.
1975 – Construction of the CN Tower is completed in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It reaches 553.33 metres (1,815.4 ft) in height, becoming the world’s tallest free-standing structure.
1992 – In New York, Mafia boss John Gotti is convicted of murder and racketeering and is later sentenced to life in prison.

Whatever happened to my Trabsylvania Twist? No matter, here are today’s Headlines Du Jour:

THE “G” IN GOP STANDS FOR GUNS & GOOFBALLS:

The GOP’s perpetual war drum explained:
Why are Republicans so eager for conflict?

Louie Gohmert: ‘Separation of church and state’ means ‘church plays a role in the state’

IN ‘MERKIN POLITICS:

15 things you can’t believe are
true about American politics

IN LGBT NEWS:

Gay Key West men sue for right
to marry in Florida after Monroe
clerk’s office denies couple a license

FREE THE WEED!!!

Colorado drivers claim ‘license plate
profiling’ after marijuana legalization

Medical marijuana sales now officially legal in Nevada

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Hobby Lobby’s Hypocrisy: The Company’s Retirement
Plan Invests in Contraception Manufacturers

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

White Officers Falsely
Arrested Black Teen: Jury

Report: Well-being of African-Americans in Michigan among worst in nation

EVOLUTION IS COMPLICATED:

Zebra Stripes Evolved to Keep
Biting Flies Away, Study Reveals

DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Detroit installs 3,200
new LED street lights

Cobalts Were Seen as Lemons From Start, State Data Shows

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

O’Reilly Provides GOP A
2014 Platform: “All They
Have To Do Is Get A
Transcript Of This Show”

O’Reilly, Juan Williams
Rip Chris Hayes: He
Used Conservative Guest
as ‘Living Piñata’!

STEVE DOOCY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Steve Doocy, Guest Agree: Godless ‘Noah’ Example Of Today’s Godlessness!

IN INNER SPACE:

Art and Science Collide in the Discovery of the Higgs Boson
Particle Fever, a documentary about
the physicists who found the “God
particle,” suggests doing science
isn’t that different from making art

BONUS VIDEO DU JOUR:

IN OUTER SPACE:

Skywatch: Total lunar eclipse
set for morning of April 15

ENTERTAINMENT CORNER:

Rare Footage of Duke Ellington Highlights When Jazz and Baseball Were in Perfect Harmony

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Tuesday, April 1, 2014

April 1, 2014Chris Christie, Detroit, Florida, Glenn Beck, GOP, Headlines, Headlines Du Jour, James Rosen, Jimmy Cliff, LGBT, President Richard Nixon, Racism, Religion, Rob Ford, Roger AIles, The Harder They Come, WarHeadly Westerfield

Howdy Headliners! It’s April Fool’s Day. No joke. It’s also the birthday of Reggae star Jimmy Cliff. No joke. He loves the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

1789 – In New York City, the United States House of Representatives holds its first quorum and elects Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first House Speaker.
1826 – Samuel Morey patents the internal combustion engine.
1919 – The Staatliches Bauhaus school is founded by Walter Gropius in Weimar.
1924 – Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years in jail for his participation in the “Beer Hall Putsch“. However, he spends only nine months in jail, during which he writes Mein Kampf.
1933 – The recently elected Nazis under Julius Streicher organize a one-day boycott of all Jewish-owned businesses in Germany, ushering in a series of anti-Semitic acts.
1946 – Aleutian Island earthquake: A 8.6 magnitude earthquake near the Aleutian Islands creates a tsunami that strikes the Hawaiian Islands killing 159, mostly in Hilo.
1949 – The Government of Canada repeals Japanese Canadian internment after seven years.
1970 – President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law, requiring the Surgeon General‘s warnings on tobacco products and banning cigarette advertisements on television and radio in the United States, starting on January 1, 1971.
1976 – Apple Inc. is formed by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne.
1979 – Iran becomes an Islamic republic by a 99% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah.
1997 – Comet Hale-Bopp is seen passing over perihelion.
2001 – Same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Netherlands, the first country to allow it.

Let’s get right to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

GOOD NEWS FROM THE WAR FRONT:

Zero U.S. Troops Died In Combat In March, The First Time In More Than A Decade

IN LGBT NEWS:

Religious Bigot Ordered
To Pay 1.6 Million For
Harassing Lesbian Employee

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Atlanta archbishop apologizes
over $2.2M mansion

Christians Putting Bibles in
Schools Flip Out After Atheists
Hand Out Humanist Literature!

Pastor Who Prays for President
Obama to Die Preaches That
Women Should Shut Up in Church

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

How PBS whitewashed the abolitionist movement

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OBSOLETE:

Watch: ‘Obama May Well Be
A Homosexual’ Says GOP
Candidate For Governor

‘Influential Republicans’
trying to draft Jeb Bush

Colorado GOP candidate
calls Obama birth certificate a
‘myth’ in uncovered video

GOP Has Built-in Advantage In Fight For The House

Rick Santorum: Uninsured people are deadbeats
and ‘won’t make a payment’ for Obamacare

Rick Santorum’s Wholesome Film Studio Has a Smutty Anime Secret

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

Ed McNeil: How Can a Bankrupt Detroit
Give Away Millions to Illitch Organization?

PLAYING CHECKERS, NOT CHESS:

Firm that cleared Christie in
Bridgegate? Same one Nixon
mentioned in famous Checkers speech

Ralph Thrower, IRS Chief Who
Resisted Nixon, Dies at 100

From the vast Not Now Silly archives:
Did Roger Ailes Dupe James Rosen,
Or Did Rosen Dupe ‘Merka?

GET A JOB:

Dallas Police: Man Sends Dick Pic With
Job Application, Still Doesn’t Have a Job

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

Off-Duty Deputy Shoots Man After Catching Couple Having Sex in Community Pool

WHEN SAGGY PANTS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL WEAR SAGGY PANTS:

Pull up your pants or pay a fine! Louisiana parish introduces $50 saggy pants fine for first-time offenders and $100 for repeat offenders

CRACK MAYOR CORNER:

Anti-Rob Ford campaign
posters pop up in Toronto

CHRIS CHRISTIE CORNER:

Lawrence O’Donnell Gets
Joe Scarborough To Admit
That Christie Is Absolutely Irredeemable

Glenn Beck: Not to be confused with a methane-spewing microbe.

GLENN BECK CORNER:

Boston Marathon Bombing Survivor Sues Glenn Beck
for Defamation

From the vast Not Now Silly archives:
The Day I Shook
Hands With Glenn Beck

NATURE IS COMPLICATED:

Methane-spewing microbe blamed for Earth’s worst mass extinction

VIDEO DU JOUR:

Headlines Du Jour ► Sunday, March 30, 2014

March 30, 2014420, Bill O'Reilly, Captain Beefheart, Chris Christie, Cops Gone Wild, Domestic Terrorism, FBI, Free the Weed, GOP, Headlines, Headlines Du Jour, Koch Brothers, LGBT, Loofah Lad, Mozilla, Religion, Taxes, Texas, UFOsHeadly Westerfield

G’day Headliners!!! Today’s the birthday of painters Francisco Goya (1746) and Vincent van Gogh (1853). While their styles were quite different, they totally agreed on the Headlines Du Jour of yesteryear:

1822 – The Florida Territory is created in the United States.
1842 – Ether anesthesia is used for the first time, in an operation by the American surgeon Dr. Crawford Long.
1855 – Origins of the American Civil War: Bleeding Kansas – “Border Ruffians” from Missouri invade Kansas and force election of a pro-slavery legislature.
1856 – The Treaty of Paris is signed, ending the Crimean War.
1867 – Alaska is purchased from Russia for $7.2 million, about 2-cent/acre ($4.19/km²), by United States Secretary of State William H. Seward.
1870 – Texas is readmitted to the Union following Reconstruction.
1909 – The Queensboro Bridge opens, linking Manhattan and Queens.
1954 – The Yonge Street subway line opens in Toronto. It is the first subway in Canada.
1976 – The first Land Day protests are held in Israel/Palestine.
1981 – President Ronald Reagan is shot in the chest outside a Washington, D.C., hotel by John Hinckley, Jr. Another two people are wounded at the same time.

Now let’s get to today’s Headlines Du Jour:

THE “G” IN GOP STANDS FOR GIMME!!!

Republican Led Southern States
Dragging America Down By
Leeching Off Of Your Tax Dollars

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

Hobby Lobby: A Mixture of
Racism and Xenophobia

TODAY’S DOMESTIC TERRORISM IN TEXAS:

FBI Smashes Alleged Radical-
Right Terror Plot in Texas

TODAY’S UFO IN TEXAS:

Mystery aircraft flying over Texas baffles aviation experts

1957’S UFO IN TEXAS:

Case closed: Vintage Texas
photo may be UFO

TODAY IN RELIGION:

Why the surprise at learning how
much evangelicals hate gay people?

A Creationist Decided to Answer My 10 Questions and the Results are Hilarious

Pat Robertson Is Upset That Gay
People Are No Longer Stoned To Death

BROWSER BATTLES:

Mozilla’s bad week: Employees call for CEO Eich to step down, 3 board members leave

Employees Revolt Against Mozilla’s New Anti-Gay CEO; Demand He Resign

Gay Firefox developers boycott Mozilla to protest CEO hire

FREE THE WEED!!!

Hemp aid: US considers buying industrial cannabis from Ukraine to bolster its economy

Non-psychoactive CBD oil made from marijuana plants poised to be game-changer

Marijuana raid in Bates County
illustrates the evolution of an issue

MORE EXCITING EPISODES OF COPS GONE WILD:

Police Mistake Tea Leaves
for Pot, Raid Ex-CIA

UVA Student Files $40 Million Suit Against ABC
Agents and State For Traumatic Sparkling Water Episode

CHRIS “CHRIS” CHRISTIE CORNER:

Five Takeaways From Christie’s Self-Exoneration Report

THINGS GO BETTER WITH KOCHS:

What’s Really Behind the Koch Attacks on Democrats
Hint: it’s not about healthcare.

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

Bill O’Reilly Amps Up His Race
War Against Rep. Barbara Lee

Bill O’Reilly’s shameful interview with “God’s Not Dead” Kevin Sorbo

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

How a Florida Engineer Found
a Fatal Flaw in Chevy Cobalt

VIDEO DU JOUR:

OH! OH!! CANADA!!!

GOP STANDS FOR “GRIFTERS OUR PROBLEMS”

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?

IN LGBT NEWS:

TODAY IN RELIGION:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE OF COPS GONE WILD:

FREE THE WEED!!!

IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

GOP STANDS FOR “GOT OUR PRIORITIES”

THE GOP BOLDFACED LIE DU JOUR:

IN LGBT NEWS:

IN INCOME INEQUALITY:

FREE THE WEED!!!

TODAY IN RELIGION:

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

KKKARL ROVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

DISGUSTING ALLEN WEST IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

LGBT NEWS:

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?

TODAY IN RELIGION:

BULLY CORNER:

CNN IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

TODDLES IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

STEVE DOOCY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ELISABETH HASSELBECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ANN COULTER IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST RACIAL SOCIETY:

AND, IN THE WORLD OF SPORTS:

IRONY ALERTS:

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OBSOLETE:

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:

IT’S A GOOD START:

FREE THE WEED!!!

GLENN BECK IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BULLY BOY BOLLING IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY???

TODAY IN RELIGION:

SO GLAD WE’RE LIVING IN A POST-RACIAL SOCIETY:

TODAY IN LGBT EQUALITY:

TODAY IN INCOME INEQUALITY:

FREE THE WEED!!!

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA:

GET THE FRACK OUTTA HERE:

ABC NEWS IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

BRIT HUME IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

IN INNER SPACE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

VIDEO DU JOUR:

THE “O” IN GOP STANDS FOR OBSTRUCTIONISTS:

TEABAGGED ENOUGH ALREADY?

THE GEORGE W. BUSH LEGACY:

TODAY IN FLOR-I-DUH NEWS:

TODAY IN RELIGION:

ANOTHER EXCITING EPSIODE OF COPS GONE WILD:

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT, ‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY:

FREE THE WEED!!!

BONUS VIDEO DU JOUR:

FROM THE HATERS:

ANTI-SOCIAL MEDIA:

CAN YOU DIG IT:

RUPERT MURDOCH IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

LOOFAH LAD IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

SEAN HANNITY IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

HUCKLEBERRY HOUND IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

THE FIVE IN THE NEWS AGAIN:

ANOTHER DISPATCH FROM DETROIT,
‘MERKA’S FIRST THROWAWAY CITY: