Tag Archives: Gun Control

The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 31

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It was a tough week for the Fox “News” personalities following the Newtown Massacre. The NRA had yet to state a position on gun control for them to parrot. 

Yet, the so-called “news” network couldn’t help but expose its split personality, with Rupert Murdock coming out in favour of gun control, while the rest of the Fox Chuckleheads™ came out in favour of a strong Second Amendment, with no exceptions. It’s the reason why The Fox “News” Spin Cycle blog series exists.

Let’s get right to it:

When Bully Boy Bolling wakes up in a pensive mood, that’s a good thing. Unfortunately, by the end of the week it would become apparent that not a scintilla of new information penetrated that thick skull of his. Because, in the end, Bully Boy decided to cling to his guns and religion, despite the horrifying statistics on how many deaths over the years have been the end result of the misuse of guns and religion.

“The Five” never shows my messages. Maybe that’s because I have always maintained that “The Five” is the worst show on tee vee since “My Mother The Car.”

If you like to hear 4 people on the Right agreeing with each other, while 1 person just makes a fool of themselves, then “The Five” is weekdaily viewing. It’s a program that will always provide more heat than light. However, if you like to hear discussions based on facts, as opposed to Fox “News” Talking Points and Reich Wing Politics, then do yourself a favour and skip “The Five.” It’ll just drive you crazy.

Oh man! Fox “News” SciTech got into the magic mushrooms again. Either that, or they’ve been watching the Matrix movies on too little sleep.

This poll is good news for Fox “News.”

For the past 4 years Fox “News” has been drumming this concept into the ‘Merkin people. Now it can boast of a poll that demonstrates how its propaganda worked perfectly. Now Fox “News” will have another 4 years to try and make all Democrats appear to its brain-dead viewers as Socialists, Communists, Stalinists, Fascists, and Atheists.

This tragic story of former-Marine Jon Hammar’s arrest in Mexico on having an illegal gun provides a lesson in Fox “News” story building. Follow along:

To begin: Last week Fox “News” started pushing this story of a poor former-Marine who was
being mistreated in a Mexican jail for allegedly breaking Mexico’s gun laws.

The only information Fox “News” has ever broadcast about this case came from
Jon Hammar’s mother, who might be a little biased. (Ya think?) She said Jon’s arrest was over a “clerical error” and Fox “News” did no original reporting beyond that. Everyone they interviewed concerning Hammar’s arrest also had no information beyond what they had heard from his mother, including the Congresswoman who used the story to get Fox Facetime™.

When this pic (above) of Jon Hammar chained to his bed was smuggled out, Fox “News” had an orgasm. It played right into the storyline Fox “News” had already created.

What no one was telling the brain-dead Fox “News” viewers is that Jon Hammar was chained to his bed for his own safety. While it’s sounds complicated, it’s not. When Hammar was locked up with the general Mexican prison population, he was threatened and hurt. Therefore he was moved, for his own safety, to a place where he couldn’t be hurt by the other prisoners. Unfortunately, this was also a place from which a man with Marine training could escape easily. To prevent that, he was chained.

Now imagine for a moment, dear reader, that a propagandizing tee vee channel from a country (that we recognized like we do Mexico) started to agitate for the release of a prisoner who had yet to stand trial in ‘Merka on charges of having an illegal weapon. Fox “News” would be the first to tell them to STFU to maintain the sovereignty of the ‘Merkin Justice System.

However, Fox “News” took up the cause of Jon Hammar, which became a crescendo as the week progressed.

If only they’d redesign their opinions. Amiright? Eh? Eh?

While Vicki Soto undoubtedly died a hero, concentrating on the victims is one of the ways Fox “News” has of avoiding the question of gun control in ‘Merka (reported in last week’s edition of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle). Early in the week Fox “News” was still flailing on how to report this story, especially as it was still several days away from the announced NRA presser, in which the Gun Rights organization would take a clear position which Fox “News” could parrot.

And, normally that would be a good thing. Especially after a tragedy like the Newtown Massacre. However, to give you some unsolicited advice, Bully Boy: processing works best when you listen to other voices and other points of view. You are so deep inside the Fox “News” bubble that you don’t realize that you came out of this believing no different than you did before 20 children were murdered with a gun. You didn’t process. You simply allowed things to solidify.

That quack?

This isn’t about gun-running, of course. This is about the fact that Jon Hammar allegedly (and even his mother admitted as such) tried to bring an illegal shotgun into Mexico. His mother says he declared it and then they arrested him. Izzat true? Who knows? His mother says she received phone calls trying to extort money from the family to facilitate Jon Hammar’s release. Izzat true? Who knows?

However, Fox “News” knows a good story when it creates one. It’s going to ride this one as far as it can.

Fox “News” just loved John Boehner’s Plan B.

IRONY ALERT: I could go to Der Googlizer and within 3 seconds can find dozens of links in which Loofah Lad was badgering or bullying someone. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

IRONY ALERT II: The Falafel King exploits Newtown tragedy to accuse the far-left of exploiting the Newtown tragedy.

Last week Fox “News” was taking pot shots (pun intended) at Matt Damon. This week it’s a whole new thangie.

Personally I found this a disgusting interview for a whole lot of reasons. Here are some:

First, this isn’t the first time Dr. Eben Alexander has been on Fox “News.” He was on back in October to promote his book “Proof of Heaven” in which he presents the ultimate proof for the existence of Heaven: When Dr. Alexander was in a coma he traveled to Heaven, hung around for 7 days, took copious notes, and came back to this mortal coil to write a book all about it. That’s his proof. Yeah, I know. Intelligent people might want to measure this guy for a straight-jacket, but Fox “News” breathlessly presented Dr. Eben Alexander as an authority on Heaven. There are many segments like this on Fox and Friends in which the Foxy Friends clearly promote a Christian understanding of Heaven (and Hell, for that matter) and the rest of the world. The whole War on Christmas is predicated on the concept that the only religious POVs worth broadcasting are from the Jesus cults, no matter what the denomination.

Then suddenly there’s a tragedy in Newtown and Fox and Friends drags this snake-oil salesman back on the air so he can promote his book all over again, and offer Christian comfort for the brain-dead viewers of Fox “News.” If you don’t believe me, watch this interview for yourself. It’s sickening and cloying. It promotes a narrow view of humanity, as if we can be nothing more than God-worshiping monkeys who have to believe in an  afterlife because this one is so fucked up.

That’s just my opinion, of course. Your mileage may vary.

For bonus points: Wretched Gretched couldn’t get through the interview without crying, demonstrating to the world her Christian bone fides and lack of professionalism simultaneously.
Since I started compiling these Fox “News” Spin Cycle posts, I’ve noticed a pattern to some of the posts. Yannow how everyone who is sentient has noticed the pattern on Fox “News” of them using the phrase “some people say“? Well, some of these UPDATES fall into the same category. However, on air Fox “News” can just allege what “some people say” without providing any proof whatsoever. When it’s a Twitter/facebook UPDATE Fox “News” has to actually find someone to say what it’s thinking.

That’s why people like Mark Levin, who is the farthest Right of all the Reich Wing crazies broadcasting in this country, can pop up as if he’s just another common man.

So, we know he wasn’t stupid.

Once again Loofah Lad uses his silly little quiz for propaganda purposes.

A PAC was created to keep the momentum and discussion on gun control going. I hardly think that makes them vultures, unless you agree with me that the NRA lying about President Obama and gun control to raise money over the last 4 years makes them vultures.

Sean Scammity, who has never divulged where all the money went for his fund-raising Freedom Concerts, has now taken up the cause of former-Marine Jon Hammar. And it’s still early in the week.
The source for this story later clarified and said that that is what he heard from others. In other words: Fox “News” was broadcasting hearsay. Later the boy’s father (yes, the source turned out to be a teenager) has said his son would have had no first hand knowledge. Despite this strong denunciation, Fox “News” kept promoting this angle of the story long after it had been debunked.

When will Fox “News” tell us that Nancy Lanza was a gun nut, who was
training to be a crack shot in case the government came a’knocking? Or,
is that merely an inconvenient fact? Here’s what else Fox “News” will never tell you: Whatever social difficulties Adam Lanza had (he is reported to have had Asperger’s, but I have yet to see that from any official source either), his mother was in all likelihood filling him with all kinds of crazy nonsense about government conspiracies, the kind that can usually only be heard on Fox “News.”
I loved their Whiter Shade of Pale single.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

And, yet, a slight bit of intelligence on the issue of gun control from Peter Johnson, Jr., who, Stephen Colbert has noted has 3 names that are all euphemisms of “penis.” It’s thought that the avuncular Johnson — who is not just a Knight of Malta, but also Roger Ailes private attorney, is Ailes’ most direct, unfiltered megaphone to the Fox “News” brain-dead viewers. Now that both Murdoch and Ailes have expressed an interest in some form of gun control, will the rest of the Fox “News” personalities follow along? Stay tuned. [h/t Media Matters]

Since Gabe Sherman said that Fox “News” was benching KKKarl Rove (and Dickish Morris) after disastrous election prognostications, Fox “News” had to understandably bring Rove back and pretend Sherman was wrong. This is just KKKarl Rove playing along because he knows it’s good for bidnezz, and Fox “News” will never reveal his conflict of interest during the election.

Kraut the Hammer was just one of many Fox “News” people who raised doubt that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was faking her illness. It’s disgusting. Clinton has said she will testify when she is well. I don’t think anyone will be able to stop her from doing so because she wants to, but Congress has subpoena power. It can compel her to testify. So, remind me again why this illness would prevent her from testifying?

And, it was no less stupid when Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell suggested it. It’s not a question of “Great minds think alike,” Bully Boy. It’s because “Fools never differ.”

Did you hear that sound? Fox “News” just had an orgasm.

Did you hear that new sound? Multiple orgasms.

Oh, fer fuck’s sake!!!

If it was on the Loofah Lad Full Spin Hour, it won’t be the truth.

If it were me: I would not have pushed my son’s face across the innertubes, no matter which king he played, even if he played The Falafel King.

Who can argue with logic like that? Fox “News.” That’s who. Fox “News” hates Michael Moore more than it ever did Osama bin Laden.

More bullshit from Fox “News.” There was no victory. The administration said, essentially, “We are still in the process of crafting an exemption for religious schools.” The court said, essentially, “See that you do so.” Nothing changed after that court decision. So, how does that make it a victory?

Loofah Lad proves he’s not the only Fox “News” personality who can badger and bully. Here he lauds Neil Cavuto for going “toe to toe” in an interview in which badgering and bullying are mild descriptions.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

This next series of screen caps is a perfect example of the “some people say” tactic from start to the inevitable finish. It begins with sober-thinking gun owner Ted Nugent penning another defense of guns in his regular Washington Times column.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.
Because Ted Nugent is saying what Fox “News” is thinking, Fox “News” feels this is worthy of passing along to its brain-dead followers.
Then Fox “News” decides it’s worthy enough to feature on its web site, where it is the headlined story mid-week. One of the Fox “News” personalities will say, “some people say it’s a matter of moral decay” in 3 … 2 … 1 … Anything to avoid talking about gun control.
However, to get another perspective one needs to read Right Wing Watch.

Sarah Palin, who Gabe Sherman has also written about, sees the opportunity to get a few kicks in at Sherman.

That’s not what I’ve asked for, Bully Boy. Here’s what I want for Christmas, if you have a mind to play Santa Claus:
I want you to show enough intestinal fortitude that you unblock me on Twitter.

Jake Tapper was the only reporter who asked a question about gun control at a press conference that was preceded by a Presidential Statement on gun control, and it came at the very end of the press conference. All the rest of the questions were about the fiscal cliff, even from the Fox “News” White House Correspondent. Yet, because Tapper criticized the president Fox “News” felt that was the moment from the press conference to pass along to its brain-dead viewers, even tho’ he’s a reporter from a competing network.

Because we all know how “Fair and Balanced” Republican Senator Marco Rubio is.

Hear that sound? The Five just had a simultaneous orgasm.
Fox “News” will always be ready to promote the John Boehner version of reality, but rarely will it pass along to its brain-dead followers what the President’s position is.

Then Loofah Lad climbs aboard the Jon Hammar bandwagon and features the story several days in a row.

Just think: It was only 12 months ago that Newt Gingrich thought he was smart enough to be president. He failed miserably in the primaries, which makes him perfect for Fox “News” punditry.

With everything that was going on this week, Ainsley Earworm forgot the cheesecake until mid-week.

It’s sad that Ainsley Earworm doesn’t share any leg cheesecake pics since she got married. I hope she still has her legs.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

By mid-week The Falafel King has jumped into the Jon Hammar story with both feet.

What makes Fox “News” think this woman is even relevant anymore? BTW: Is Sarah Palin still a Fox “News” employee or is her contract, and 15 minutes of fame, up now? Pretty please.

The Five’s Christmas party this year was quite an honour for the Aunty Em Ericann blog. I called my occasional snarky post about Bully Boy Bolling “Chow Mein and Bolling,” which is actually a pun based on the great Mike Nesmith tune “Chow Mein and Bowling.” In order to demonstrate that he totally gets the inside joke, Bully Boy Bolling INSISTED that this year’s The Five’s Christmas party would take place in a bowling alley. Thank you! Next year I hope to attend personally.

Because the only answer to guns are more guns.

IRONY ALERT III: If only KKKarl Rove had been cautious with 2012 predictions. He was as wrong as wrong can be, even after the election was called for President Obama.

Did you hear that? Yep, Fox “News” just had another group orgasm.
Another headline that misrepresents the truth. A coal plant is shutting down and it is citing regulations as the reason for doing so. It has decided to close, rather than retrofitting to comply with the laws. But: 1). President Obama doesn’t write the environmental laws; 2). Many of these EPA regs predate the Obama administration. However, if you only read the headline, you’d think that President Obama reached out of the Oval Office and slapped that company down. This is just another example of why Fox “News” is not “Fair and Balanced.” Never has been. Never will be.

Until he can’t any more.

One person said something that Loofah Lad didn’t like and that becomes “Liberal hate speech.”

It turns out John Boehner should have had a Plan C.

SPOILER ALERT: It was Loofah Lad, who took his latest demands to The Five. As only The Falafel King can, Bill O’ threatened President Obama and the Mexican government or else!!!

Just look at this public display of Loofah Lad arrogance: Not only did Loofah Lad threaten the Mexican government, but he also threatened the President of the United States. Who the hell does he think he is? There are times it’s hard to know who is the bigger bully, The Falafel King or Bully Boy Bolling.

Did you hear that? Bill O’Reilly just had an orgasm. I’m sure Loofah Lad, and the rest of Fox “News,” will take credit for Jon Hammar’s release. What’s worse, is they will come to believe it even though they know the whole story was bullshit to begin with.

Anything to avoid talking about gun control.

Reagan’s House heroes? What the hell are you talking about?

Did you hear that sound? Swiftboaters just had an orgasm.

The NRA finally spoke and Wayne LaPierre echoed the Fox “News” talking point that the cure for guns is more guns.

And, Geraldo Rivera’s talking point. When hoodies are outlawed, only outlaws will wear hoodies, right Geraldo?

I’m going to assume Freedom is the name of Bully Boy’s dog.

It’s a two-fer: Jesse Watters gets a Hawaiian vacation and finds a way to smear President Obama.

Hoo boy!!!

When video games are outlawed, only outlaws will play video games.

Another example of Fox “News” finding someone to say what it’s thinking. In this case it’s Herman “Nein Nein Nein” Cain.

The entire thinking nation mocked the NRA presser. Why should reporters be any different?

Just to put the issue of guns into a human perspective is this front page headline at the Huffington Post:

Here are just some of the gun deaths in the week after the Newtown Massacre, as reported by HuffPo.

I’ve always said that you’re a bully. Nice of you to prove it so often.

The sneer that launched a thousand Reich Wing smears.

Critics assailed NRA boss in return.

Sad news, folks. The weekend Three Stooges on the Curvy Couch are losing their Curly, as Dave Briggs is off to NBC Sports, which they couldn’t say because it’s another network. Any guesses on which Fox “News” Stooge will get tapped to play Shemp?

Fox “News” has a direct line to the Hammar family.

Say “buh bye” to Boehner.

Sarah Silverman is another Fox “News” nemesis.

I’m sure there’s a joke here somewhere.

I’m going to assume Freedom is the name of Bully Boy’s dog.

This picture demonstrates the great rapport the Sunday Panel has with each other.
More proof that Fox “News” doesn’t understand irony: It was pointed out that statistically White men are more likely to be serial killers or mass murderers. The suggestion to profile White men was meant as irony, not a serious proposal.

Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Killing is good, as far as Fox “News” is concerned.

However, killing isn’t the reason for the season. Leave it to Bret “The Bear” Baier to remind us all what’s really important at this time of year:

Because everybody gets to spend the holiday at their condo in Florida. I know I will, but I happen to live here. Maybe next time you’re down this way we can get together for coffee, Bret.
This edition of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle was compiled the day before Christmas. We thought we would leave you with this warm holiday message from Libertarian Penn Jillette:
I gotcher War on Christmas right here!!!

Judge Not 10 ► Guns

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Judge Andy in unretouched pic
taken directly from my tee vee screen

As last week’s exciting episode of Judge Not came to a close, our erstwhile hero Judge Andy had already begun to observe Radio Silence, which started as soon as the magnitude of the massacre in Newtown became known. 

While it’s clearly against the Aunty Em Ericann blog employee rules, all the Judge Not unpaid interns took a long, liquid lunch at the same time (leaving the phones to ring off the hook) to argue and speculate how long it would be before The Laughing Libertarian was back to messaging. More importantly, they organized an office pool on how long it would be before Judge Nap broached the issue of guns again. As it turned out, that happened the very next day with his second message. [I’d tell you who won the pool, but I don’t think they plan to declare their winnings. Therefore, it’s best if it remains an office secret. Besides,] I fired all the interns and hired new ones. I’ll teach them to have a long, liquid lunch without me.


On a personal note: Last week’s Judge Not blog post was promoted twice during the week on the Lost Liberty & Freedom Today blog. Thank you so much. It’s quite an honour and I’ll try not to disappoint our mutual, faithful readers.

Now, take it away Judge Andy:

There are no innocent ‘Merkins.

Guns! It was only a day after the Newtown Massacre that Judge Andy felt the need to defend guns, using another famous Libertarian to do so, rather than to make his position clear. Careful there, Judge Andy: Penn Jillette has also come out strongly against the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas AND the whole concept of God and religion. Are you really sure you want to embrace his views?

This is another selectively edited version of a person’s remarks, which my faithful readers recognize as the Reich Wing Breitbartian tactic it is. Follow along:

A deceptive edit is an attempt to discredit everything else that was said. In this case it’s the single word “exploit” without any other context. The interview was actually quite reasonable (IMHO) about the issue of gun control versus the Second Amendment. However, Judge Nap doesn’t want his brain-dead followers to know that someone is being reasonable about gun control. Judge Andy just wants his brain-dead followers to KNOW President Obama is coming for their guns. Consequently, he’ll pass along a Washington Times (!) article with a Breitbartian headline taking a single word out of all context whatsoever.

This is proof positive why Judge Nap cannot be trusted. He’s not a “fair and balanced” adjudicator. He has his thumbs on the scales to get his brain-dead followers to believe certain things which are not entirely true. And, he’s happy to do it.

Were you this vocal about The Patriot Act, Judge Nap, at the time? Or, were you one of those ‘Merkins who supported the war in Iraq, rendition, the Guantanamo Gulag, and the whole Security Industrial Complex?

In all honesty (and I don’t know why you never reply to any of my questions), do you really think laws that would ban 30-round ammunition clips and certain types of ammunition are unconstitutional? Do you think making it as hard to get a gun as get a driver’s license would be unconstitutional? Do you see all gun control measures as unconstitutional? Take your time, Judge Nap.

And the typo, Judge Nap? FORGIVEN, because I’m sure to make some in my lifetime.

What do YOU think, Judge Nap? I wish you would enlighten us on your feelings, as opposed to passing along what others say to maintain a modicum of plausible deniability.

This is the first of my two appearances on the Lost Liberty & Freedom Today blog this week. It’s a seminal honour to appear on this blog because the Lost Liberty and Freedom Today site is set up (apparently) by a Judge Andy Libertarian Lap Dog™.

Days before Head NRA Gun Nut Wayne LaPierre said the only answer to gun violence was more guns, people like Judge Andy, among other Fox “News” personalities, were already promoting that solution.

Not to be outdone NASA has announced its new defense against asteroids hitting the Earth. Everybody will be able to possess their own asteroids.

The Washington Times, also mentioned above, is an almost slavishly Reich Wing publication masquerading as a news source. Why does that sound familiuar? Anyway, the Washington Times reviewed Judge Andy’s new book. To no one’s surprise, it liked it. It liked it a lot!!!

Where do I sign up for my tin foil hat? I’ve read several articles about this and I have yet to find any credible sourcing. While I cannot say it’s NOT true, it all has the feeling of Black Helicopters and FEMA Concentration Camps.

Would you be at all surprised to find out the article didn’t actually say gun control was racist? It did, however, make the point that gun control has been used historically to take away the guns of minorities, while leaving those of the majority intact.

Judge Nap never fails to pass along TSA silliness. However, he has never answered my question of “What would you replace the TSA with?” The undeniable truth is this: If we had the TSA secure the nation’s schools we wouldn’t to place armed guards in every one.

I can’t tell whether Judge Andy thinks this was a good idea, or a bad one.

Remember the mind-set of the Founders: they only knew breach-loading rifles, which took time to reload. Had they known of 30-round clips in assault rifles, and seen the carnage they cause, the Founding Fathers might have been smart enough to have done something about regulating them.

At any rate, Judge Nap, this is just another silly red herring. If you want to cling to your guns (and religion?) as a check against a potentially tyrannical central government, might I just remind you that the other side has tanks? And, that’s just for starters. If you get really obnoxious they can use tactical nuclear weapons to take your sorry ass out. Why do you think your littler pea-shooter, whatever the hell it is, will be any match for the government?

Here’s another one for you to answer, Judge: Who in a position of power has actually advocated confiscating guns? You’re just trying to stir up the emotions of your brain-dead followers.

But . . . but . . . but . . . I would have thought this would make you happy. Sure it’s a crazy idea, that is also unconstitutional to boot, but at least she’s half-way to your position of thinking we need guns in all schools. Now all you have to do is convince her to give guns to all the janitorial staff. Or, maybe, all school cafeteria workers. Or, even better, arm all school nurses who can not only kill intruders, but can also treat anyone injured by them.

Truth? That’s rich, Judge Nap? You serve to mislead. However, feel free to tell my faithful readers the truth, Judge Nap: Who in the White House (which you’ve pictured wearing a turban? What the hell is that?) wants to ban guns?

Because the only answer to guns is more guns and what might work in Texas is perfectly applicable to Detroit or New York or any other place in ‘Merka.

Izzat a good thing, or a bad thing, Judge Nap? Is Scientology a cult which needs investigating, or is it a government intrusion on freedom of religion?

It would be more accurate to say, “Your cellphone is capable of spying on you.” However, that wouldn’t play into Judge Nap’s desire to make you afraid of your government.

What does this have to do with guns? You’re slipping, Judge.

Yet, as long as it remains a Republic people can vote the leadership out. So, what’s your point again?

Once again, we’ll forgive the typo, Judge Nap. However, let me give you a little tip. If you are going to adopt as your cause a Marine who allegedly broke Mexican law, you could at THE VERY LEAST spell his first name right. Jon Hammar was being held according to Mexican law. If tee vee hosts in, f’rinstance, Great Britain started to agitate for the release of a ‘Merkin prisoner who had yet to stand trial on criminal charges, Fox “News” personalities would be the first to tell them to “Shut the fuck up.” Yet, Fox “News” took on Jon Hammar’s cause, despite the fact that its only source of information on what laws he may have broken and how he was being treated came from his mother, who kept calling it “a clerical error.”

See article below.

And, it’s this kind of thoughtless defense of the Second Amendment that makes Judge Andy a Libertarian hero.

Judge, I have to ask again: Who has proposed a gun ban? Who is trying to take away your guns?

And, this is how my weekend ended, with another promotion of my Judge Not series over at the Lost Liberty and Freedom Today blog. I just want them to know I will do everything in my power to stay true to the site’s confusing and wordy motto of “NEWS FOR THINKING HUMANS & AN ARMY OF 2000+ CITIZEN NEWS SPOTTERS TO BRING OUT THE REAL NEWS!”

If Judge Nap ever wants to answer any of my questions, he knows where to find me. If he doesn’t, he can just ask the government which, I’m sure, has a complete dossier on someone who used the nom de plume Aunty Em Ericann for 7 years.

Next year the Fox “News” Phony War on Christmas will be fought with assault rifles.

The Fox “News” Spin Cycle ► Episode 30

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Fox “News” logo used
without permission

It’s the perfect set of bookends documented in this week’s edition of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. 

It begins with a continuation of the Bob-Costas-and-guns-kerfuffle from last week and ends with Fox “News” clinging to its guns and religion. In between there was a mall shooting, Susan Rice withdrew herself from consideration as Secretary of State, and attacks against Ed Asner (again) and Matt Damon (again). In other words: the usual nonsense from the usual gang of idiots.

NB: A word of warning. The Newtown Massacre broke my funny bone. I’m less likely to go for laughs this week; I’m more likely to go for the jugular.

You call that cheesecake?

Better, but where’s the leg?

Holiday shopping??? Doncha mean “Christmas shopping”??? Or are you fighting the War on Christmas from within? Don’t worry, I won’t give you away to the authorities.

More than a week after Bob Costas said the obvious and Bully Boy Bolling is STILL stewing about it.

Of course The Falafel King felt George Will owned Paul Krugman because Will personally attacked Krugman, who attempted to stay on the facts of the issue, which Loofah Lad doesn’t care for. Paul Krugman is a long-time nemesis of Fox “News.”
“QUICK! How can we blame this on President Obama? Oh, right! It’s in the headline. Never mind.”
IRONY ALERT: Fox “News” was one of the media outlets that originally jumped on the story of the Aussie DJs pranking the hospital, only to pretend it did not help contribute to the nurse’s suicide when it became tragic story.

Of course he got owned because Mary Matalin personally attacked Paul Krugman, who attempted to stay on the facts, which Fox “News” doesn’t care for. And, Paul Krugman is a long-time nemesis of Fox “News.”

Which is why Fox “News” would concentrate on this talk show slugfest that happened on another network. It’s a way to avoid having to discuss the merits of Krugman’s ideas, which Fox “News” doesn’t care for. And, Paul Krugman is a long-time nemesis of Fox “News.”

This was KKKarl Rove’s first appearance since it was reported all over the innernets that Rove had been benched and all Fox “News” producers would need a special note from high above to use him while he’s still in Purgatory. Here’s my newest conspiracy theory: While Fox “News” put KKKarl Rove on the DL list, I would bet [Johnny] Dollars to donuts that Bret “Bare” Baier was ordered to put Rove on the air, just to make a lie out of all those reports of him being sent to the corn field.

Oh, lookie: Steve Doocy made a funny. It’s nice to see he has not forgotten the real reason for the season.

BTW: Did you know that if you watch Steve Doocy with the sound off he looks just like every dipsomaniac you have ever known? Try it some time.

Sure, it’s funny ’til somebody pokes an eye out.

When monkeys are outlawed, only monkeys will be outlaws.

Bob Costas and guns still? A word of warning: By the end of the week you’ll be talking about guns all over again and it will be a far more painful discussion, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Fox “News” will pass along ANY specious rumours, as long as they smear President Obama.

Scammity is simultaneously working the Psy Gangnam Outrage™ and social media, straight from the Hannity Control Room.

That’s not exactly what he said. He said Fox “News” is dividing ‘Merka and RFK, Jr. is 100% right.

The biggest racial hustlers are on Fox “News.” People such as Sean Scammity and Bully Boy Bolling. What should ‘Merka do with them?

Don’t worry. I don’t care. However, I love the namedropping, Bully Boy.

Better get some coffee in you, Bully Boy. Didja see what Jon Stewart said about you last night?

I’ll take that as a “Yes.” So, let me get this straight (because it might become important by the end of the week): It’s not that Bob Costas said something about guns, but he said it in an inappropriate forum. That narrows it down. So talk of gun control is okay as long as it doesn’t interrupt football coverage?

Juan Williams was the only Fox “News” personality that I saw who felt that Bob Costas’s comments were appropriate. By the end of the week Costas would look downright prescient, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

We only know from his family that the charges are “trumped up.” I’m not saying they are, or they are not. I’ve just not seen enough evidence to justify the headline, or the fact that Fox “News” has taken this story on as its latest cause, having hosted Jon Hammar’s mother several times.

Taking Immelt’s comments out of context is the Breitbart way. He was discussing what works in a very narrow sitch-eee-ay-shun. But, you’ll never learn that unless you click through and take the time to watch the video. However, Immelt is a long-time Fox “News” nemesis and this is a great way to slam him.

Loofah Lad should have saved this topic for the end of the week after the Newtown Massacre. It’s hell when he repeats himself.

This isn’t a screen cap from Fox “News,” but updates one of the contentious issues discussed in last week’s Fox “News” Spin Cycle.

IRONY ALERT: Bully Boy Bolling is apologizing to his Politically
Correct Christ lovers, who were upset that he took the Christ out of
Christmas. IRONY ALERT II: Bully Boy Bolling has decried Leftoid Political Correctness™ in the past. I guess the lesson here is it all depends on which PC Police were offended. Bully Boy Bolling kowtows to God’s PC Police.

This is what Bully Boy Bolling said for which he is apologizing. IRONY ALERT III: You’d think someone who goes to church every day would not ooze hate and racism in front of the tee vee cameras.

We’ve survived until midweek without having to talk about gun control.

Wait!!! What??? Mall shooting?!?!?! Can we talk about gun control yet, Bully Boy? Because by the end of the week, wanting to talk about gun control will become a national obsession, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Steven Crowder’s story fell apart as soon as some unedited video came out that showed the man punching Crowder had just been knocked to the ground by a cheap shot that appeared to come from behind. He honestly believed Crowder delievered the cheap shot and retaliated. Crowder tried to Brietbart the video with a deceptive edit, but, unfortunately for Crowder, Sean Scammity accidentally aired the part of the video that shows Crowder’s James O’Keefe-like stunt. Suddenly the story died. Steven Crowder became the aggressor. No wonder he stayed a virgin until he got married. He’s a coward who can only attack from behind.

It takes one to know one.

Fox “News” loves to attack MSNBC and Chris Matthews in particular, who is just another nemesis of the “Fair and Balanced” network.

I’m going to wait and celebrate 13/13/13.

However, all day Fox “News” was able to pretend that Steven Crowder was a tough guy who stood up to the union thugs . . .

. . . until Scammity accidentally showed too much of the video and it now appears that Steven Crowder threw the first punch.

Lookie here: Some rare navel-gazing from Loofah Lad. What’s more, it’s all about his Phony War on Christmas, which was even criticized by Father Morris on the Curvy Couch with those Foxy Friends.

And the GOP House has recessed. Who should the president meet with?

Malkin called it: “There will be blood.” Too bad it was blood from the children in Newtown, Connecticut. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Heya, Juan: Teabaggers have always been about charlatans and profiteers. Remember: It was astroturfed with Koch money and Dick Armey to begin with. Then all the racists crackpots joined and the brand became tarnished to those ‘Merkins who do their own thinking. Why are you providing political cover for Teabaggers, Juan?

While he’s been known to say some outrageous things, Belafonte is another long-time Fox “News” nemesis.

Off-camera chatter? You’re ignoring each other. Let’s move in for a close up:

See? It’s like that last scene in the marriage montage from Citizen Kane.

See???

Contrary to conventional wisdom the Piltdown Man is not the greatest hoax ever perpetrated. That honour goes to Fox “News” calling itself “Fair and Balanced.”

Still trying to get the last bit of mileage out of the phony Steven Crowder victim story.

This is the closest Fox “News” came to talking about gun control. They made fun of a Leftoid’s position on gun control. And, it’s a clever new way to attack The Current, another Fox “News” Nemesis™.

This is what passes for the Fox “News” crack research team? Begging people on facebook?

This was pretty funny. They should put Geraldo on The Five and send Bob Beckel back to the Minors.

TRANSLATION: We’re stumped. Help us out because Der Google isn’t helping at all.

Wait!!! What???

It’s headed straight for YOUR house. Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

IRONY ALERT: Fox “News” has been the greatest force for division in ‘Merka since it went on the air. Dennis Miller is just more of the same divisiveness. Way to miss the point, Miller.

TRANSLATION: We’ll see if our crack audio team can cue it up.

After 2 months of attacking Susan Rice on a daily basis, Fox “News” can add her head to their trophy wall. And, isn’t it magnanimous of John McCain to wish her well?

Because Fox “News” made Susan Rice the story, as opposed to making the attack on Benghazi the story. Happy now?

OY VEY!!! Oliver “Should Be In Jail” North is running tours to Israel. That would be a great trip to infiltrate, pretending to be an average tourist. It would be great for the LULZ.

It’s time for Bully Boy Bolling and The Five to take a victory lap since they have been among the most vocal in trashing Ambassador Susan Rice.

It came as highly amusing news that Judge Nap, who claims to be a Libertarian, is not JUST religious, and not JUST
a Roman
Catholic, but he actually admits that he preferred the Church prior to
all the inclusive reforms known
as Vatican II. That means Judge Andy identifies with the ’50s and early
’60s. He’d even rather have the Mass in Latin. Ipso facto: Judge Nap embraces
his cognitive dissonance. It also explains his Constitution fetish.
It’s why he won’t accept the Constitution as a living document. He is an
“originalist” who believes the Constitution was divinely inspired by
the pre-Vatican II God.

A truly rational Libertarianism seems totally incompatible with religion. Which is probably why there are so many essays by so many people who are trying to justify being religious Libertarians. More cognitive dissonance.

Quantity over quality. The Five is still the worst show on tee vee since “My Mother The Car.”

Wait!!! What???

REMEMBER: There is no War on Women.

It won’t be a happy Friday for long. People all across the nation will soon be weeping openly.

Watters World is the oldest trick in tee vee: Ask stupid people questions and only show the stupidest answers. Hilarity ensues.

“Pondering about”??? Yeesh!

According to their body language: They hate each other.

And, it begins.

Nothing will ever be the same for ‘Merka from this moment forward. And, whether Second Amendment Advocates like it or not, this country is about to have a serious discussion on gun control. FINALLY!!! 

However, in the meantime, Fox “News” will do everything it can to avoid talking about gun control, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

TRANSLATION: The News Division is keeping Bully Boy Bolling from complaining about advocates of gun control.

This is Bully Boy Bolling clinging to his guns and religion.

This massacre of innocents in Newtown, Connecticut, has exposed the Fox “News” schizophrenia on gun control. The on-air personalities have, when they expressed an opinion at all, have come out solidly in favour of the Second Amendment and against gun control. However, lookie what Rupert “The Corpulent” Murdoch tweeted out that evening:

If Fox “News” came out in favour of sensible gun control, maybe politicians will find it easier to buck the NRA, Rupert.

However, as Rupert is tweeting that, his minions, aka the Fox “News” suits, were telling the Fox “News” personalities not to discuss gun control. That will be threading the needle for Fox “News” because gun control was suddenly a topic on the minds and lips of most ‘Merkins, regardless of whether they were pro-gun or anti-gun.

That’s why the Fox “News” spin became more about God than guns. To avoid the topic of gun control, Fox “News” was forced to cling to guns and religion. It started with Huckleberry Hound, but spread across the channel.

This is Huckleberry Hound clinging to his religion. We assume he also has guns.

A rare Saturday on the curvy couch for Loosy Doocy. Clearly the brass at Fox “News” didn’t feel they could trust Dave and Clayton (two of the weekend’s Three Stooges) to stay off the topic of gun control. Consequently, Steve “I look like a dipsomaniac” Doocy and Brain Brian Kilmeade sat in with Alysin “Poses With Guns” Camerotta. Had Wretched Gretched been available (I’m sure she had some family thing she just couldn’t get out of) I am sure the whole Fox “News” morning “A Team” would have been there for the Saturday morning Newtown Massacre coverage.

Doocy likes it when people are Right. The farther Right, the better.

Where’s Wretched Gretched, Alysin? Doesn’t she usually work with Steve and Brian?

Bully Boy Bolling thinks he can hold back the tide of the national conversation on gun control that’s already begun. ‘Merkins have come to realize that they are being told to “respect these families, debate the issues later” every few days, after another shooting in public. Now they are saying, “ENOUGH.”

To avoid talking about gun control, Fox “News” went in a number of directions. It reported on the heroic teachers . . .

. . . or it advised parents on how to talk to their own children about the Newtown Massacre . . .

. . . or accused Progressives of politicizing the issue of gun control . . .

. . . or blamed the massacre on the ‘Merkin culture, like violent video games and Hollywood, where Fox makes movies . . .

. . . or dragged out Father Morris to discuss a religious evil. Anything to avoid the topic of gun control.

When this news was released I predicted that Fox “News” would express doubt about this story. I was right, but, admittedly, that was like shooting fish in a barrel.

Another way Fox “News” avoided talking about gun control was to talk about union thugs.

Remember: Anything to avoid talking about gun control. Just as Gabriel Sherman at New York Magazine reported:

Certainly Fox’s decision to avoid widespread policy talk could be seen as an editorial impulse to keep the focus trained on the tragedy’s human dimension. But Fox’s coverage also highlights the growing chasm between Rupert Murdoch and Ailes. Gun culture is alive and well at Fox News. Roger Ailes and Sean Hannity are reportedly licensed to carry concealed handguns in New York City. Fox personality Eric Bolling is a vocal Second Amendment proponent on air. “Not only do they carry guns, they don’t allow an honest debate on TV,” a Fox News insider said. In the past, when Ailes has clashed with Murdoch on politics, Fox News’s outsize profits have helped Ailes prevail. Earlier this fall, Ailes signed a new four-year contract, and he retains complete editorial control over the network.

I have always felt a particular distaste for Oliver North. . . until this week. Now, I hate him with every ounce of my being.

Let’s face facts: North only avoided being jailed in the Iran/Contra Scandal on a technicality (the same might be said of Bush the Elder, as well). Now North gets to promote his own money-making deals on the Fox “News” channel in exchange for being one of the channel’s Go-To Gung-Ho Guys™ on military reporting. Here he hawks his latest book, while just above he was shilling for his own tour of Israel, aka The Holy Land.

However, late this week my mild distaste for Oliver North went to Red Hot Hate™, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
[Be sure to stay tuned to the very end of this column for the reason why.]

Why do you have to insert your God into everything? Your God failed these children.

As Gabriel Sherman at New York Magazine says in the same article quoted above:

During the weekend, one frustrated producer went around Clark to lobby Michael Clemente, Fox’s executive vice-president for news editorial, but Clemente upheld the mandate. “We were expressly forbidden from discussing gun control,” the source said. Clark’s edict wasn’t universal: On Fox News Sunday, host Chris Wallace talked with Democratic Senators Joe Lieberman and Dick Durbin about gun control, and later in the program, panelists Bill Kristol and Fortune editor Nina Easton weighed in on the issue.

Clearly Chris Wallace is the exception that proves the rule.

However, had he mentioned gun control Fox “News” never would have turned this father into a symbol of Christian forgiveness.

Just another way to avoid the issue of gun control.

Matt Damon is another Hollywood star that Fox “News” delights in attacking. If I cared why I could research it. I would probably discover that Damon said something against Fox “News” or one of its pet projects. Or, he starred in movies with George Clooney, another Hollywood star Fox “News” attacks with regularity. The reason doesn’t have to make sense. Suffice to say Fox “News” has a hate-on for Matt Damon (and George Clooney, among others).

Still not ready to talk about gun control? I know, it’s still too early.

How about now? Can we talk about the weapon that mowed down this principle, several teachers, and 20 children? No? You’ll let us know when, okay? Because the country is just itching for a dialogue on gun control.
I have to admit I agree with Bully Boy Bolling. In the midst of a terrible tragedy there are always going to be people who turn a crisis into an opportunity. Like your Fox “News” War Hero below:

And this, folks, is why I now hate Oliver North.

FUCK YOU OLIVER NORTH!!!

Does that mean it’s now okay to talk about gun control, Bully Boy Bolling? Whaddaya think, Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly? Is your colleague Oliver North politicizing mass murder?

And that’s how the week ends on The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. Tune in next week to see if Fox “News” found the guts to talk about gun control and whether I’ve found my sense of humour.

Judge Not 9 ► The Post Gun Edition

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Unretouched pic of Judge Andy, from
my tee vee, showing his gigantic brain.

As the week began Judge “Andy” Napolitano, the Fox “News” Senior Judicial Analyst, must have still been stewing over Bob Costas’ gun comments from last week, just like the rest of the Fox “News” personalities. 

One of my life’s amusements, such as it is, is watching how quickly Fox “News” jumps to attacking the messenger, without noting the delicious irony that it too is a messenger, although thoroughly discredited messenger after the recent election. Jon Stewart noted other ironies about how Fox “News” doesn’t cover gun violence.

This week’s edition of Judge Not will continue after these Daily Show videos:

Take it away, Judge Nap:

When drunken football players are outlawed, only outlaws will be Right to Work Cowboys . . . or something.
You’re paid to give us your thoughts, Judge. What do YOU think of this, Judge Andy? BTW: What’s YOUR take on the Newtown Massacre?

I understand why you are promoting your book, Judge Nap, but why do you call it a book bomb? Is that merely wish fulfillment?

When unions are outlawed, only outlaws will join unions . . . or something.

When drunk driving is outlawed, only outlaws will . . . Wait!!! What??? It already is??? Never mind.

And yet, George Will is a corrupt knave, also known as a Conservative Hack.

One thing at a time, Judge Andy. After the “for profit” health industry is destroyed, the Socialists will dismantle the “for profit” education system. However, for now, Libertarians should be grateful that the prison systems are still being privatized.

Well, Duh!

Why do you like to pass along already debunked statistics, Judge Nap? By the time you get around to sharing with your brain-dead followers, most of what you push on them has already been proven false.

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric, a regularly occurring Fox “News” meme.

Look out below!!! The book is bombing!!!

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric.

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric.

This is just more “Hate the unions” rhetoric.

You’re going to turn this into a moral issue? Hoo boy!!!

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

Whose behavior is committed to destroying the Constitution, Judge Andy?

Whose behavior is committed to destroying the Constitution, Judge Andy? The House?

Wall Street has always been more important than Main Street, Judge. So what if HSBC only got a slap on the wrist?

LOOK OUT BELOW!!! BOOK BOMB!!! Send the Feds a message. LOOK OUT BELOW!!! BOOK BOMB!!!

Reason allowed Judge Andy to BOOK BOMB them with an interview about his book. LOOK OUT BELOW!!!

All of Fox “News” celebrated when Ambassador Susan Rice’s head was finally on the platter.

It came as highly amusing news that Judge Nap, who claims to be a Libertarian, is not JUST religious, and not JUST a Roman
Catholic, but he actually admits that he preferred the Church prior to all the inclusive reforms known
as Vatican II. That means Judge Andy identifies with the ’50s and early ’60s. He’d even rather have the Mass in Latin. Ipso facto: Judge Nap embraces his cognitive dissonance. It also explains his Constitution fetish. It’s why he won’t accept the Constitution as a living document. He is an “originalist” who believes the Constitution was divinely inspired by the pre-Vatican II God.

A truly rational Libertarianism seems totally incompatible with religion. Which is probably why there are so many essays by so many people who are trying to justify being religious Libertarians. More cognitive dissonance.

This would be a good time to remind Judge Andy he works for a company that used the same tactics to spy on private citizens that he’s now decrying. That feels so hypocritical.

This slap on the wrist — which admittedly is a record fine, but still a drop in the bucket for HSBC — was merely a money grab? Who knew? Thanks for clearing that up, Judge Nap.

Dear Readers: Occasionally Judge Andy passes along a real story from a CREDIBLE source that is actually worth reading. This WIRED story concerns a court case in which ‘Merkin spy agencies might claim National Security to prevent state secrets from being blurted out in open court.

NB: These Judge Not columns are compiled in chronological order on Saturday morning. Between the screen capture above (from Thursday) and the two below (from Friday morning), Adam Lanza murdered 20 children and 6 adults in Newtown, Connecticut. The news slowly trickled out, as did Judge Andy’s last two updates of the week. Judge Nap may simply not have heard the tragic news yet.

HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!! HAW!!!

Heya, Judge? This is something you should share with all the other Fox “News” personalities who seem to believe that TORTURE IS TERRIFIC. [I get the bumper sticker royalties.] Why just this past week your colleague Greg Gutfeld seemed to sum up the Fox “News” attitude when he blurted out, “Like I Always Say — Waterboarding? More Like Awesomeboarding.”

It’s worth noting that after those last 2 screen caps from early Friday morning, there was nothing else from Judge Nap after the magnitude of the horror in Newtown, Connecticut, became known.

Judge Andy went into Radio Silence.

It will be interesting to see what his first words next week will be and whether the 2nd Amendment will come up in next week’s exciting edition of Judge Not. Stay tuned.

Judge Not 8 ► Bob Costas Control

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Totally unretouched pic of Judge Nap
taken directly from my tee vee set

Not even Bob Costas making an obvious statement about gun violence was enough to goose Judge “Andy” Nap’s output any higher this week. At 31 posts, Judge Nap’s bluster was only slightly higher than last week’s tally. It’s still within the margin of error, however.

TO BE FAIR: Judge Nap was not the only Fox personality to jump on Bob Costas’ gun remarks during the week; He was just the most hypocritical. Let’s get right to this exciting episode of Judge Not:

‘Like’ if you think Bob Costas is entitled to his opinion. When talking about guns is outlawed, only outlaws will talk about guns.

No basis? Should Costas have talked about garotting instead?

What if there were no more hypothetical questions? Then Judge Nap would be left with nothing but hypocritical questions.

I’m screwed. I have neither guns, nor gold. I guess I’ll be Zombie bait instead. Me and Bob Costas.

What if the right to keep and bear arms only applied to the veterans?

What if the right to keep and bear arms only applied to the TSA?

Judge Andy thinks it’s fair game to compare President Woodrow Wilson with Adolph Hitler. The Daily Caller thinks the ‘pull quote’ is fair game for the headline. Judge Nap then feels it’s fair game to pass along the Daily Caller’s interview with his brain-dead followers. That’s how the circle of life works.

I bet there are cops who want to do away with the 4th Amendment and Miranda Rights, too. Cops can say what they like, just like Bob Costas. Just because some cops want this, doesn’t mean it will happen. Just like Bob Costas. Get a grip, Judge.

Yes, Judge, the unemployment figures are terrible. Worse however, are the statistics on income inequality. A recent article in The Atlantic says income equality is worse now than in 1774. Forbes, which is clearly in the tank for the Democratic Party, has a recent article called “How Income Inequality Is Damaging the U.S.” HuffPo has two articles filled with charts that you should also read, Judge Nap. Just the other day it published “5 Ways Rising Income Inequality Kills The American Dream,” while in 2011 it published “15 Facts About U.S. Income Inequality That Everybody Should Know.” I’m sorry, Judge Andy, what were you saying about unemployment again?

However, here’s a chart you should also take a look at, Judge Nap:

I’m sorry, Judge Andy. What were you saying about unemployment again?

I’ll believe it when I see it, just like all those other Conspiracy Theories you pass along, all of which have yet to come to fruition.

That won’t fit on a bumper sticker: Judge Andy is the star with which to steer the Ship of State, which is listing badly. The problem is that Forbes is 100% serious. Pay no attention to that iceberg dead ahead.

Once again: Do I have to explain to you how this works? Police can propose, but they don’t pass the laws.

Where’s your outrage, Judge Andy? Did Arizona just hire a mercenary army to fight the War on Drugs to fill the mercenary’s for-profit jail? Isn’t that just a minor Conflict of Interest?

I thought the Republicans wanted to take the country back . . . back to the ’50s . . . the 1850s. See what I did there?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap? Telling ‘Merkins what they can and cannot do in their cars?  A man’s car is his castle. His castle on wheels.

Wall Street got bailed out, but not Main Street. Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

Of course we can forgive Judge Nap for promoting his book . . . over and over again. One day I may even get around to reading it. How long does it take for a book like this to end up on the remaindered table?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

I though politicians were sent to Washington to get laws passed. Compromise is necessary to get that done, Judge Nap. Drawing lines in the sand is a good tactic for a schoolyard bully. Ask your buddy Bully Boy Bolling ’bout that. However, here’s what everyone needs to know: When a Fox “News” personality is giving advice to Republicans, and it happens far more often than you would think appropriate, it’s just more proof that Fox “News” is not “Fair and Balanced.” Never has been. Never will be. Thanks for playing our home game, Judge Nap.

Those are the only two choices?

This is the 3rd time this week I caught Judge Andy scare-mongering this. It must be what keeps Judge Nap awake at nights, even though he knows better.

Judge Nap wrote an article in which he argued, essentially, that Republicans are for Big Government and Democrats are for Even Bigger Government. See what he did there? A pox on all their houses.

This story is nothing more than a run-of-the-mill divorce custody battle. Like many others of this kind, it has crossed international borders. Like some others it involves a ‘Merkin serviceman. However, Fox “News” is determined to turn this family matter into a national “news” story, and Judge Andy is happy to help.

Republicans only want a government big enough to handle a uterus.

One of the biggest Senate Teabaggers is leaving the Senate to become King of the Teabaggers. How will that work out? Why let’s ask Judge Andy. Heya, Judge. What does this mean for the GOP?

Wait!!! What??? Libertarians [which are really just Teabaggers with a fancier name and less overt racism] will rejoin the disgraced GOP, pushing it even further to the right? Pass the popcorn, Judge.

This is the last book promo I will allow this week, Judge Nap.

This is the last Jim DeMint promo I will allow this week, Judge Nap.

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

Where’s your outrage, Judge Nap?

By the end of the week Bob Costas was just a memory for Judge Nap. He’s now been supplanted by Black Boxes, compiled text messages, and conspiracies of Big Government.

Here’s a quote for you, Judge Nap:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Blessed are the cheesemakers.