Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

At the rate Fox “News” is spinning in order to WHITEwash for the Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan Republican ticket, I may have to start updating The Fox “News” Spin Cycle twice a day, as opposed to just once a day. However, to be fair, it was the first day of the delayed Republican National Convention and Fox “News” had a lot of time on its hands and bullshit to shovel at its low-information viewers.

So hang on tight as we venture back into Bizarro World. Remember to keep your arms in at all times.

Wretched Gretched continues her e.e. cumings-style of idiosyncratic CaPitalIzaTion.

Doesn’t she realize how stupid it makes her look?

Clearly not, otherwise she’d have stopped by now.

Despite what Fox “news” would haver you believe, the monster larva is not the Democratic Party.

They have that backwards. How will the RNC impact the Tea Party, which has clearly taken over the GOP?

More “swiftboating” of the POTUS. Remember: “Swiftboating” is pushing a lie, like was done against John Kerry.

Mania is the right word for how Fox “News” has been sucking up to the RNC.

Because it’s a lying piece of shit. The less said about it, the better. Except on Fox “News,” which seems to think it’s a blockbuster of “Avatar” proportions because it can’t stop talking about it and promoting it, even though it’s still a load of horse shit.

This was such a bizarre segment. Those Foxy Friends at Fox & Friends got the Oak Ridge Boys to sing the National Anthem for entertainment value. Then, later in the day, when the National Anthem was being sung on stage at the RNC, Megyn Kelly talked right over it. Fox “News,” where patriotism is for the other guys.

Can’t imagine what he might say.

About that debt? Republicans really did build it.

The truth, but I’m not holding my breath.

Ellen Barkin said something stupid, so Fox “News” elevates it to national news. It never does this for Ted Nugent’s idiotic rants, however. Why Barkin? She has been a long time punching bag for Fox “News” and Loofah Lad O’Reilly.

Two Mensa members.

More of Brain Brian Kilmeade hobnobbing with celebrities.

I remember when Dennis Miller was funny. Sadly, Bill “Falafel King” O’Reilly still thinks he’s funny.

The POTUS has been ready to compromise all along, even to the point of angering Democrats and Progressives. However, Fox “News” wants to peddle this new pile of manure that he’ll only compromise once he’s re-elected. When he’s re-elected he won’t need to compromise.

They’re all Teabaggers now that the Koch-suckers have taken over the GOP.

Hoo boy!!!

Because the Republican Platform and Mendacious Mitt certainly won’t do it.

I heard no “squashing,” just a small swipe. But Fox Nation loves these action words like “demolishes” and “eviscerates.” It’s part of its creative writing and rewriting history.

Can the GOP keep the focus off who created that debt? [See above.]

See? “Unloads” is just one of those action words I just described.

“This is where I make shit up.”

Only if Romney’s Tax Returns and the GOP’s regressive abortion policy is studiously ignored.

It’d be less windy if you closed your mouth, Bully Boy Bolling.

O’Reilly is walking a tightrope with this topic. He doesn’t want people to remember how he attacked Dr. George Tiller relentlessly and how a nut job took him seriously and killed Dr. Tiller.

The only one of these presidents who would be welcomed by today’s Teabagger GOP Party is AU H2O, and I’m not so sure he’d like what the party has become.

Because it’s so easy to make fun of protestors.

You think it’s easy pulling facts out of his ass?

If Bret Baier is cruising, he’s definitely on the wrong side of town. I don’t think he ever did fix that link.

Because the “Take the country back to the 1950s” theme hasn’t been working at all.

Fox “News” has diversified and is now running a fleet of cabs in Tampa. Will they show up for the DNC?

Does he even have a hack license? I’d make sure he’s not taking the long way around, just trying to run up the meter.

Because they have been, but Fox “News” will never admit that because they do it too.

I missed it on purpose, silly boy.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Because making fun of protestors is as easy as falling off a wooden Romney.

Formally? I saw no tuxedos.

Everyone knows that when Republicans move into “full swing” it means putting everyone’s house keys in a big bowl and . . . What? Oh! Sorry, I misunderstood. That’s for later, back at the hotel.

Fox “News” trumpeted this like it was some kind of surprise that was totally unexpected.

There’s actually some real “news” going on and Shep Smith gets to cover it from the balcony of the same hotel I stayed in when I was in New Orleans for the first Mardi Gras after New Orleans.

“Special coverage” means there will be more fawning over Mendacious Mitt than usual.

Mayor Love spreads the POTUS hate.

Provided you have money. If you’re poor, you’re on your own. If you’re a woman, better get used to being marginalized.

Romney’s plan WILL work for ‘Merka, provided you’re in the the 1% of the Ruling Class at the top of the heap.

Right after he rewards his cronies with more tax cuts and sends all the good jobs off-shore, just like he always has.

Trolling for responses and the low information Fox “News” viewers are happy to oblige.

Real leaders lose weight.

I feel ripped off. Where’s today’s Fox and Friends First cheesecake shot?

No capital letters and a misspelling of the three letter word “Gov.” Good work, Wretched Gretched.

Yet, “Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders” gets capitalized. Hoo boy!!!

More bad grammar from Wretched Gretched. She’s so inconsistent about it, too.

Of course Rove loved it all and never admitted he has 2 SuperPACs dedicated to defeating the POTUS.

The only side of Mendacious Mitt I want to see is his backside.

What speeches did Fox “News” ignore? It’s always amusing, and terribly disingenuous, when Fox “News” points out another channels bias. It’s usually wrong, too.

Fox “News” is getting a lot of mileage out of this book, after they outed the name of the author and pointed out where he lived. Al Qaeda has now put out a assassination hit on him. Another job well done, Fox “News.”

The elephant in the room is Mendacious Mitt’s constant lying.

There have been “scorching” anti-Romney ads, but you’ll never see Loofah Lad promote them.

Present buttocks; apply lips.

When you have women and minorities trumpeting the Mendacious Mitt/Fox “News” lie of “You didn’t build that” then I would call it “window dressing.” When they speak for themselves, I’ll change my mind.

Stay tuned for Episode Eleven of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle, which I’ll have to be starting almost immediately if I want to keep on top of this.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

When the history of this election cycle is written (sadly both Theodore H. White and Hunter S. Thompson are no longer with us) an entire chapter will have to be devoted to the Fox “News” Spin Cycle, which has been spinning more furiously than Hurricane Isaac in the Gulf of Mexico. Fox “News” is forced to SPIN furiously in order to WHITEwash for the Republican team of Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan, who have still not caught fire with ‘Merkin population.

The Fox “News” coverage of the GOP national convention has been one entire Republicapaloosa, when it hasn’t been attacking the President of the United States with false and already discredited talking points. Clearly the Fair & Balanced network ain’t.

Meanwhile, there’s an entire new episode of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle to deconstruct, so let’s get going. It’s a little longer than usual since it’s been almost a day and a half since the last one.

Wretched Gretched should get that capitalization problem looked into.

Just another example of how Wretched Gretched, or an intern acting on her behalf, makes herself look stooopud. Capital letters are your friend, Gretch!

A hagiographer at work.

STOP THE PRESSES!!! Bully Boy Bolling is going to the RNC in Tampa!!! The trip won’t go smoothly. Read on.

Wait!!! What??? She found the SHIFT key! too bad she used it on the wrong word, but it’s a start.

Lots of people have unloaded on Mendacious Mitt Romney, but you’ll only see them on Fox “News” to be criticized.

Of course it’s not a War on Women. It’s a War on Women’s Rights. Why can’t the Left Wing see that?

His father also released 12-years of tax returns and honestly said that he had been brainwashed by the generals during the Vietnam War. What Mendacious Mitt took away from that: Never tell the truth, so he hasn’t, ever!

Because Condé Nast Traveler Magazine is clearly in the tank for the Secretary of State.

Delta doesn’t control the weather, Bully Boy Bolling. President Obama does. Or don’t you listen to Rush Limbaugh?

A minute-by-minute update from Bully Boy Bolling. Soon he’ll start telling us of his bowel movements.

I will provided you finally reveal that you are spending untold millions to influence the same election for which you and Fox “News” are trying to pretend you are just providing honest punditry. Deal?

Sheriff Joe is being investigated and prosecuted by the Federal government, but the only time you’ll hear that on Fox “News” is when they use it to criticize President Obama.

Bully Boy Bolling seems to have a need to be in every picture. Here he is, finally in the air on the way to Tampa.

Bully Boy Bolling with Wretched Gretched.

Bully Boy Bolling with Buddy Christ’s younger brother.

Bully Boy Bolling with his sycophantic co-hosts from The Five.

That’s not EXACTLY what the NYT said, but I’m sure that wouldn’t surprise you.

Bully Boy Bolling makes a funny about a competitor.

Bully Boy Bolling makes another funny about a competitor.

Bully Boy Bolling makes a funny about  . . . WAIT! That wasn’t even funny. Is that a Pop Cultural reference to a bad ’90s sitcom?

Crosshairs? We’re not going there again, are we?

I’d start with Ann Romney’s speech, but what do I know? I just don’t like Stepford Wives.

Told you so!!! Bully Boy Bolling just shit himself!!!

Shorter Baier: We’ll be lying our asses off.

Here’s the panel lying their asses off.

Hear them lie their asses off.

The one who spends the most money to influence the race. Come on down, KKKarl Rove!!!

Ask them how that blind trust found them to invest in their business.

Ask them if they THINK capitalization of their name is OPTIONAL.

How many times are you going to promote this interview? Wait!!! What??? You capitalized all the right words on that last one. Who are you and what have you done with Wretched Gretched?

Never mind!!!

Back in my comfort zone. It’s as if nothing has changed.

The windy will be inside the hall.

Yeesh!!!

Because all ‘Merkins are clamoring for a president who can pretend he always makes the pancakes and wears Costco shirts.

Loofah Lad is still pimping for the GOP; he just pretends otherwise.

Shep is in his glory. He can safely ignore the lies in Tampa to focus on his favourite thing: A natural disaster.

Rubio’s got to be just a little bit miffed that Mendacious Mitt chose Lyin’ Ryin’ over Credit Card Marco.

Fox “News” will never tell you about a Republican who switched to the Democrats, unless it’s to denigrate them. Wait!!! What??? ACORN again???

If Fox “News” ever fact-checked Mendacious Mitt’s ads, like they do every Democratic advert, no one would ever vote for Mendacious Mitt.

Another Fox “News” report about a D switching to an R, turning it into a national news story. Yet, you’ll never see the so-called Fair & Balanced network show a R turned D.

More promotion for this softball interview from Wretched Gretched.

Fox “News” cooking the books on every story? We report; you decide.

Translation of Bill “Falafel King” O’Reilly: “Because Karl Rove is a complete nonpartisan in this election cycle and won’t slant his coverage at all. (Did they buy that? Yes? Good, because I have a doormat and other crap I need to sell.)”

Because Reince Priebus thought he was on Fox “News” and started lying like he always does. OOPS! He was called on it.

And you can believe it because the Romney Camp has been so honest up to now. Oh, hell, who am I trying to fool?

The non-Fair and unBalanced network shouldn’t throw stones, considering the glass house it lives in.

One big fat liar with Mendacious Mitt’s mendacious offspring.

Because we all know how rational Jon Voight is, not to mention how politically astute.

Even though Geico issued a response that called this claim bullshit, nothing in the linked story refers to it. You’d have to search hard to find out that this happened 2 years ago AND that Geico said Ermey wasn’t fired at all. That ad campaign had run its course and the company had developed new campaigns in the two years since.

And turns truth on it’s ass.

Does Geraldo even have a Fox “News” presence anymore, now that his tee vee show has been relegated to one night a week? However, he’s still got a radio show to promote.

Once again: When the polls showed President Obama ahead that sound you heard from Fox “News” was crickets.

Vote for us because we can be just as racist and Ayn Randian as Ron Paul. We’re just better at disguising our intolerance.

YAWN!!!

See? Shep’s skipping the disaster that is the Republican Convention for the Disaster that is Isaac.

What’s the big secret? She’s a robot, of course.

Wait!!! What???

You can’t tell because his shirt’s not tucked it, but Shep’s got a hard on because he’s covering a natural disaster again.

Unless it’s a Democratic Convention. Fox “News” will do everything in its power, which is considerable, to shit all over the DNC message.

But Fox “News” is Fair & Balanced/. You can take that to the bank.

“Because it’s not really lying unless I can people to believe me.” ~~~Shorter Rove

According to NewsHounds: “Independent” Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly said that he finds Republicans sane and Democrats radical. Just another day in the Wild Spin Zone, not to be confused with the Fox “News” Spin Cycle..

There you go, kids, another episode of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle has come and gone. While getting Episode Nine ready for publication, I have already collected the next 23 for Episode Ten. If the Fox “News” bullshit keeps increasing at this rate I’ll not only have to get a pair of hip-waders, but might have to bring in an intern to help. Maybe Wretched Gretched’s intern wants to move over to the dark side.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

It’s time for another in my hugely popular Fox “News” Spin Cycle series. As we get closer to the Republican National Convention, and as the Republican Dynamic Duo of Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan flounder on simple issues like abortion, Fox “News” has had to ramp up the Fox “News” Spin Cycle to 11. 

However, to be fair, Mittens ramped up the rhetoric to 11, going full-on Birther mid-day Friday. However that seems to be a topic that Fox “News” has been studiously avoiding as best it can. 

So, join me as we travel back to Bizarro World and look, once again, into the hearts (HA!) and minds (double HA!) of the Fox “News” personalities and lay some snark on those who WHITEwash on behalf of Mendacious Mitt and Paul “Ayn” Ryan.

Aside from the fact that Wretched Gretched never knows where to put capital letters, Fox “News” wasn’t trumpeting ANY poll numbers before the race tightened up.

Don’t change a thing. Whatever he’s been doing to be the anti-razzle-dazzle candidate has been working for him.

The only reason Fox “News” did this story is they thought it was about Richard Nixon.

Even with the microscope, they have yet to discover Romney’s heart.

Because Mendacious Mitt & Lyin’ Ryan have no extreme positions on abortion, right? They just want to do away with Roe vs Wade entirely.

Fox “News” loves to attack unionism and this is just a way to get dues-paying unionists to hate their leadership.

No. Next question? Can he win based on lies? A: He’s trying his best.

Another total misrepresentation of what the POTUS said.

Of course, Fox “News” is still not telling its viewers that KKKarl Rove is spending untold MILLIONS of dollars in SuperPAC money to influence this election. He is NOT “Fair and Balanced,” but neither is Fox “News.” A match made in Heaven? Or is that Hell?

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Rove could take credit because his SuperPACS are spending TONS of money lying about President Obama.

No surprise there. Mendacious Mitt is rich and White. Read how Fox “News” is trying to send this story down the Memory Hole.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

They’re . . . err . . . undecided.

Scammity has been promoting this anti-Obama movie for days on end, but then, to be fair, he has been airing his anti-Obama rants for years on end.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

It’s been a full-court press for Fox “News” in Tampa. While they are promising to cover the Democratic National Convention, I’ll lay money its coverage will not be as fulsome.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama.

While Ron Paul identifies as a Republican, the policies he champions are very far from mainstream Republicanism.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama? Oh! Wait! Never mind.

Republican Charlie Crist has now endorsed President Obama. Don’t hold your breath waiting for Fox “News” to tell its viewers. However, every time a Democrat comes out for Romney, it’ll become national “news.”

Here’s something Fox “News” won’t tell you. Ever! It’s gone down the Memory Hole.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama.

More hagiography from the Fox “News” network.

Someone explain to me why Ann Romney has been given a speaker slot at the convention and why she bumped other, more informed, Republicans.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama? Oh! Wait! We do every day. Never mind.

Somebody dissed ‘Merka, so Bully Boy Bolling goes all Bully Boy. Good thing he’s not The Hulk. You wouldn’t want to make him angry.

This lie has been debunked many times, but in order to WHITEwash the EXTREME Republican position, Fox “News” will feed this crap sandwich to its low-information viewers they’re full.

Another misrepresentation, but you know that already, didn’t you?

Every day Bully Boy Bolling tells his fans about his morning run. Who the fuck cares?

Alisyn still has a lot to learn about cheesecake photography. C’mon, Aly! At least show as much leg as you do on air.

Because it will be a non-stop President Obama bash-a-thon.

There you go, Aly. Leg!

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Hoo boy!!!

American Crossroads is KKKarl Rove’s SuperPAC, but this is an interesting way of getting Fox “News” viewers to “Quick! Look over there!”

More promotion for this bullshit documentary, based on a bullshit book that has been thoroughly debunked already. In other words: It’s perfect for Scammity, who can be debunked every day.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama? Rush Limbaugh already has. Can’t we?

Bully Boy Bolling is humbled by the Atlantic Ocean, but sadly, not much else.

Is Sarah Palin still a Fox “News” personality? Clearly she’s no longer a Republican Party personality. She’s not even been invited to the big party this week.

Ingraham is hallucinating. Again!

Notice there are no balancing voices being promoted. Is that fair?

Newsmax totally misrepresented what Reich said, but Fox “News” doesn’t care about truth. Fox “News” only cares about bashing President Obama.

Speaking of crap sandwiches: Rep. Allen West is a Fox “News” favourite who regularly bashes President Obama and all Democrats with incendiary language. So, it’s surprise to see his over-the-top criticisms pushed. Yet, you’ll never see a Democrat’s criticism of West’s crap sandwiches on Fox “News.”

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Still more promotion from Scammity for this bullshit film.

Quick! How can we blame this on President Obama?

Stay tuned for our next exciting episode of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle, where Fox “News” will find a way to blame everything bad in this world on President Obama.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics.

The Fox “News” Spin Cycle continues to WHITEwash for Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan. It really is a trip into Bizarro World where up is down, in is out, and War is Peace. We have always been at war with Oceana. Today’s episode of the Fox “News” Spin Cycleis full of lies, deflections, and just straight-out hilarity. Let’s get right to it before the jokes go stale.

However, on Fox “News” you won’t hear that both candidates have said they won’t attend AND the only one it says is negatively campaigning is President Obama. Mendacious Mitt’s hands are clean.

Oh noes!!! Can’t have that. Someone dissed St. Ronald of Borax.

I wonder what side Rudy “Noun, Verb, 9/11” falls down on. You’re right, I’m being silly.

Bully Boy Bolling’s bragging again. McDonald’s sells a lot of burgers too. That doesn’t make it the best. It only proves (once again) that the Fox “News” audience will swallow anything. Clearly they love to hear people yelling at each other, as opposed to being informed. I reviewed the very first broadcast of “The Five.” Nothing has changed since.

If the snout fits . . . .  There are those who think Ann Coulter is a swine for her (alleged) two-time voter fraud. Wonder where she’s registered to vote in this election? If you see her voting, she’s probably in the wrong place again.

Bully Boy Bolling is apologizing because someone pointed out to him that he forgot to greet his fans (fanatics?) Yet, Bully Boy Bolling never apologizes for his egregious statements against the President and Progressives. The punchline came this week when Bully Boy Bolling whined no one from the White House would appear on his shows.

KKKarl Rove not only appears on Fox “News” as a SuperPundit, allowed to hide his SuperPACs, spending untold money to influence this election cycle, he also writes for the Wall Street Journal on all the same topics. A whole raft of newspaper editorials have taken the WSJ to task for using Rovian logic without pointing out his clear conflict of interest. The same applies to Fox “News” even more so because of its much larger audience.

Fox “News” is now touting a new poll that says people think the media is left wing and in the tank for President Obama. This is proof that the Fox “News” lies have taken hold in the minds of the general public. Five corporations own 95% of the media in ‘Merka and corporations are not left-leaning.

Today’s cheesecake shot, but I don’t understand why that guy on the left isn’t showing more leg.

Fox “News” is trying to make this a First Amendment issue, which blew up in their face later in the day. [See below.]

Is she hopeful the answer will be “No”?

Alysin has a lot to learn about cheesecake photography. At least show as much leg as you do on the air, Aly.

More concern for the RNC than for the islands of Haiti, Jamaica, Cuba, Key West, etc.

Kilmeade loves to send out pics of him hobnobbing with celebrities.

TOO! MANY!! JOKES!!!

Fox “News” has been trying to make people forget all about George W. Bush since January 2009.

The media is also ‘blacking out’ most of the convention, but Laura wants to make this about Ann Romney to stir up ire. BTW: Fox “News” is the media too. Considering the size of its audience, it’s the mainstream media.

Q: What’s missing in this “The Five” promo? A: Fairness and balance, as always, silly!

Q: Why don’t we know who has contributed to Mendacious Mitt’s campaign? A: Because his bundlers are kept secret, just like his tax returns.

Remember when Fox “News” was so offended that children were being used by Progressives? I do. But when the Teapublicans do it, it’s so cute.

Hurricane season comes every year at the same time. Political conventions come every 4 years. Between conventions they seem to forget about the Hurricane Season, which comes every year at the same time.

Why doesn’t Fox “News” ever tell its audience about KKKarl Rove’s clear conflicts of interest?

This is funny, in a hypocritical way. Fox has been whining for months about leaks from the White House concerning the Bin Laden raid . . .

. . . Yet Fox “News” spills the real name of the author of a book about the Bin Laden raid and, once that becomes a media shit storm, tries to paint it as a First Amendment issue with Navy Seals being muzzled.

More hobnobbing with celebrities. Oh, Brian, you lead such an interesting life!

Chris Wallace moves into the field of hagiography. Will there be any tough questions? Romney has already told reporters he would not answer questions about abortion and/or rape, despite those topics being a part of the RNC platform.

Yet Todd Akin’s position on abortion is exactly the same as Mendacious Mitt’s and Lyin’ Ryan’s. They’re just smart enough not to repeat the bat-shit crazy stuff about raped women not getting pregnant.

Usually I won’t link to their Wingnuttery. However, this Ablow job, by supposed psychiatrist Keith Ablow, gets everything about this story bass-ackwards. To Ablow, Akin’s comments “mean that he believes that when men force themselves on women sexually, and the women are impregnated, that those women consciously or unconsciously wanted to be fertilized by the men they are identifying as their rapists.  In other words, even though these women may have said “no,” or may have fought against their assailants, at some level the fact that they became pregnant meant they and their rapists were creative partners.” WTF?!?!? You need to read the whole thing to see what a fucking nut job Keith Ablow really is.

And, of course, Fox “News” can’t have anything hurt the Republican Party, which they are in the tank for.

See above for Bully Boy Bolling hypocrisy.

Will Fox “News” create a similar graphic to promote the Democratic National Convention? Time will tell.

Wait! What?

Paul “Ayn” Ryan, aka Lyin’ Ryan, voted in favour of this bill. He was for it before he was against it.

This won’t end well for Mendacious Mitt. One of his advisors launched this lawsuit. Way to court the Hispanic vote, Mittens.

You’ll never see Fox “News” promote an opinion piece that’s pro-Obama or negative-Romney.

I’d rather have Judge Napolitano leave me alone. Different strokes and all.

There you have it. Another action-packed episode of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle. Stay tuned for our next episode, where Fox “News” will create new lies in order to WHITEwash Mendacious Mitt and Lyin’ Ryan.

Bizarro is owned by DC comics

It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the Fox “News” Spin Cycle. As the GOP flounders with trying to define legitimate vs illegitimate rape; trying to pretend there’s a difference between what Todd Akin said and what the Romney-Ryan team believe; and covering for all of Mendacious Mitt’s lies and Etch-A-Sketch moments, Fox “News” is forced to spin faster and wilder than ever. Mendacious Mitt and Paul “Ayn” Ryan need Fox “News” to WHITEwash their words and record because the truth would force people to go running to the Democratic Party.

So join me as I unpack the latest episode of the Fox “News” Spin Cycle.

What’s repulsive is how Fox “News” brings KKKarl Rove on all the time and neglects to mention that he’s spending UNTOLD millions on influencing the same election he’s repulsed by. It’s also repulsive that Mendacious Mitt Romney played the “he’s not one of us” card, but you’ll never hear that on Fox “News” either.

If all you have is a Hemmer, every problem looks like a Nial, or something like that. Because Ferguson made up some shit about the POTUS, he’s a Fox “News” favourite now.

Fox “News” hates electric cars. I’m not sure why, but there it is.

This MoFo again? Why doesn’t Fox “News” ever tell us that he’s behind “American Crossroads”???

I sure hope he does the banana thing all over again.

This has been debunked several times, yet Fox “News” keeps pushing this phony bologna.

Shorter “Monumantal”: It’s all God’s doing and we’re blessed that he even takes time to give us His consideration.

Of course that’s not true either.

Fox “News” isn’t called God’s Favourite Network for nothing. Bible game show host & Kirk Cameron all on the same day?

The strange case is that he’s the VP and you’re not.

Nothing but deflection.

Of course to hear Loofah Lad tell it, Romney’s running a honest campaign with no low blows. That would be false, of course.

This MoFo again. He didn’t tell the truth during the last administration, and he’s certainly not telling the truth now.

Yet Gibbs was absolutely spot on: He said that Trump is a Right Wing Birther. Dispute that!!!

Because he’s losing!!!

Not if Fox “News” can help it.

Yes! it hadn’t been started yet.

Fox “News” promotes KKKarl Rove and he has a 2 bulging bank accounts in his 2 SuperPACs.

Quick! How can we blame this on the President?

Bully Boy Bolling is never Fair & Balanced. Ever!!!

QUICK! How can we blame this on the President?

But President Obama is the one spilling secrets.

You know a campaign is in trouble when it starts recycling Sarah Palin catch phrases from 4 years ago.

Did you know that every time someone uses the phrase “You didn’t build that” Fox “News” gets royalties for creating the lie?

He’s going to sky-dive in from the rafters and surprise everybody. What? He won’t? OH! Never mind!!!

More royalties for Fox “News” for “Doing a Brietbart” with a deceptively edited tape. You didn’t say that. Not really.

How could he be so crass?!?! Everyone knows that Romney was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

A deceptive headline.

A deceptive headline with a picture that makes the POTUS look like he’s smelling Romney’s farts.

Q: How many softball interviews are they going to give this guy? A: As many as it takes.

When the half-Governor is right, wake me up. When Greta stops kissing her ass, wake me up. I feel like Rip Van Winkle.

The EPA is not Obama’s EPA. If you really wanna know the truth, it’s Nixon’s.

Bully Boy Bolling, who uses a teleprompter, gets a kick out of a POTUS teleprompter picture. Hey Eric! You know that Romney uses a teleprompter too, doncha?

The daily cheesecake from Fox and Friends First.

God’s channel has a beef to pick with Atheists. I have a beef to pick with Wretched Gretched. Are we even?

Another anti-Obama book? QUICK! Let’s promote it.

Is Fox “News” already making the case that Mendacious Mitt’s loss will be due to evil librul media?

Let’s promote this softball interview again.

I guess not, because he stayed in the race, Laura.

Fox “News” is doing everything in its power to keep this grudge match going.

I don’t care what Fox “News” says: It’s still Bush’s fault.

Monica Crowley is not Fair & Balanced. She’s also not very smart. GOP needs to win for the country? Oh, puh-leeze.

Oh, I hope so. That will be fun. Pass the popcorn.

If the snout fits . . . .

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

It was a busy day for the The Fox “News” Spin Cycle because it was the day AFTER Todd Akins (Republican Idiot) said that women who have been “legitimately raped” won’t get pregnant because they have internal lasers that shoot down the offending sperm, or something like that. 

I didn’t quite understand it all, but he was quoting learned doctors, not to mention the fact that Akin’s on the House of Representatives Science Committee, so he must know what he’s talking about. Consequently, Fox “News” was spinning FURIOUSLY in order to get their brain dead viewers not to think about lady parts and internal lasers. It was just another adventure in Bizarro World, so let’s take a look, shall we?

Since Fox “News” can’t have that thought hanging out there, they have to denigrate this Democratic Senator.

Remember in the last presidential election how VP Biden called Giuliani “a noun and a verb and 9/11”? This is payback.

That’s the debate I’m waiting for. I suspect the POTUS will trounce Mendacious Mitt, who will have to lie his way through it.

Of course Gibbs is 100% right. Trump is clearly Right Wing and has even promoted Birtherism to Wretched Gretched on one of his previous Monday morning phone-ins.

Now Brian Kilmeade is messaging for Wretched Gretched? Of course their agenda is political. They’re connected to both the GOP and Birtherism.

Fox and Friends First send out a lot of cheesecake pics. Here’s one.

Fox and Friends First ask a lot of stupid questions. Here’s one.

This is what passes for Fox “News” viewer porn. More cheesecake.

You just knew this was going to get a lot of play on Fox “News,” and it was front and center all day.

Not only promoting Fox and Friends, but Kilmeade and Friends, the Brian Kilmeade lie-a-thon on radio.

WAIT!!! WHAT??? This has nothing to do with politics. How did that get in there?

You’d like to think so, wouldn’t you Loofah Lad?

TWEET!!! Dog whistle!!! TWEET!!!

Will they ever have Eric Boehlert on to defend himself? Oh, wait! What the hell was I thinking?

America needs to remember whatever Fox “News” and Karl Rove tells it to remember, as they just make shit up.

See how Fox “News” wants to change the narrative, since the last one didn’t work so well?

A two-fer: Rudy “Noun Verb 911” Giuliani gets to attack VP Biden *AND* allege media bias in case that doesn’t work

An unsourced series of allegations and quotes. Perfect for Fox “News,” which needs no facts.

What Fox “News will never tell you: Karl Rove’s American Crossroads his other SuperPAC has more money to spend on this election than almost any other single entity. If money really can buy the White House, Rove could get his old job back.

Chains? Jobs? Tell us again how you didn’t really sexually harass those women, Herman.

Therefore, Fox “News” has to go on the attack all over again and promote the SEALS’ specious speculation.

Because it wasn’t his ad and the Right Wing totally distorted the message, just like it did with “You didn’t build that” and “We tried our way and it worked.”

This was before Fox “News” came out in favour of Akin dropping out of the race.

KKKarl Rove is hoping and praying that money will buy an election. In fact, he’s counting on it. What he won’t tell you in his appearances on Fox “News” is how much he’s spending to influence the election.

More about campaign money. Anything to try and damage the Obama brand.

Is Sarah still a Fox “News” personality? Todd Palin is in this show (on another network) that she’s promoting.

There it is, folks. Episode Five done come and gone. I already have enough saved up for Episodes Six and Seven. I may have to start on them right away.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

Having been incredibly busy the last few days, I’ve not been able to monitor the Fox “News” SPIN Cycle as much as I would have liked. However, that doesn’t mean the Fox “News” SPIN has been any less furious and, even though I have only been half-paying attention, I still have a fuller plate of Fox “News” nonsense than I did in Episode One, or Episode Two, or Episode Three of this ongoing series. 

It falls down into several categories: It’s either designed to denigrate this administration; WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan distortion, lies, or flubs; promote the Romney-Ryan ticket as the best thing since McCain-Palin; denigrate people not like them; or just distract from the problems of the day.

So, let’s dip our toe back into Bizarro World and see where that takes us.

Jesse Watters is used as comic relief these days  on Fox “News,” but started out as the Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly ambush interview guy, asking people when they stopped beating their wife, or some such nonsense, while they’re on vacation, or in their driveway. However, now he’s comic releif and just not funny. The current MO: He goes out with a camera and does “man on the street” interviews, which are then edited together to make people look stupid. Here he plays Goodwill Ambassador with visiters to ‘Merka and, in the end, makes them look foolish by their lack of deep knowledge about ‘Merkin politics. Why should they know about ‘Merkin politics, other than to know how they get screwed by what happens here?

Because softball interviews are not enough, Greta moves into the field of hagiography. Remember how she kept bringing Sarah Palin on the air hoping she could get people to like a Mama Grizzly?

All you need to know is the source is Breitbart. Lying to the world is known as “Doing a Breitbart”and believing a Breitbart lie is called “Swallowing an ACORN.”

OH NOES! A protester gets out of hand. Nothing like those Tea Party protests, where Congressional Representatives were spit upon and called horrible names. “Doing the Breitbart,” when Andrew was still alive, was to say because it wasn’t captured on video, it never happened. And, because we can deceptively edit a video, it’s the absolute truth because, LOOK!, it’s on video.

Another promotion of Van Susterin’s hagiography, because it can’t be pushed enough.

Paul Ryan at (in?) The Villages. Fox “News” will carry the whole thing live, but rarely do they cover a speech by the President of the United States beyond the first few minutes.

A gag reel of VP Biden flubs. I’ve never seen a gag reel of, as just one example, George W. Bush’s flubs, who was well-known for malapropisms and he even flubbed ‘Merka right into an illegal war.

Paul Ryan has mommy issues, or he will when she figures out what his policies will do for the aged. However, they got tons of money, so whatever Ryan proposes wouldn’t affect her at all. Never mind.

But, of course, Mediaite has a very different take, otherwise Fox “News” never would have promoted this article.

“Doing the Breitbart” is also a dance and when the tunes starts playing some people start kicking up their feet to dance along.

Fox “News” Sunday does a lot of these “polls.” While Chris Wallace always makes a point to say on air that the polls are not scientific (and there would be a shit storm if he didn’t) the low-information Fox “News” viewer still takes the polls as gospel, especially when the results are so one-sided, like above. Yet, the respondents are already preselected because they are all Fox “News” viewers. Their only knowledge of the issue being polled has been the steady drip, drip, drip of what Fox “News” has told them. It’s like asking McDonald’s employees whether they prefer a Big Mac or KFC chicken.

Haw, haw, haw!!! A big picture of a big fish just proves who’s really floundering. Don’t tale the bait.

What you’ll never hear on Fox “News” is that the Navy Seals are lying and connected to Birthersism and the GOP.

Karl Rove (Why isn’t he in jail?) is hoping that money will win the election. What you’ll never hear on Fox “News” is the fact that Karl Rove (No, really, why isn’t he in jail?) runs SuperPACs spending unprecedented amounts of untraceable money in this election cycle.

“QUICK! How can we lay this off on the Commander in Chief?”

Another Dr. Keith Ablow job. He not only diagnoses the VP, but then goes after the POTUS as well. Can you say “unprofessional”? I knew you could.

“QUICK! Look over there!!!”

“QUICK!!! Look over there at Ecuador.”

TWEET! Dog whistle from Weaselzippers. Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!!

Yet polling suggests that people believe the administration’s take on Medicare. Therefore, Charlie must sew doubt.

Let’s parse this one from Shark Tank, shall we? “Desperate”? That’s a matter of opinion. “Democrats”? We don’t know that for sure. Maybe they just don’t like people who misuse their privilege. “Heckle Romney”? Oh Em Gee!!! Of course we can’t have that. Pass the smelling salts. However, when a Senator yells “You lie” during the President’s SOTU address, or a reporter heckles the Predinet while he’s making an announcement in the Rose Garden, it’s all hand on deck for Fox “News” to smooth over those rough spots.

Hannity went fishing with the former Vice President. Why aren’t both of them in jail yet? Don’t take the bait.

Right, because the best thing is to play the “false equivalency card” that both parties do it, but Democrats do it more and always have. The GOP has just been forced to respond in kind.

You won’t hear this anywhere else, as Fox “News” loves to tell its viewers. That’s because other news outlets don’t traffic in bullshit.

Let me guess: Secretary of Hair? Head of the Department of Birtherism?

Because no one has ever told Romney not to show up, or not to use their music at campaign events, right?

I’ve written elsewhere how Gretched (rhymes with wretched) mangles the English language, so we can ignore the “ger” and lack of proper punctuation. Yet, it can still be FIXED!!! Try this instead because it’s more truthful: “Start with Biden end with Seals…no time for Beckel, who will make a fool of himself anyway. Dont [sic] Miss It!!”

Former Governor John Sununu waent ballistic when he appeared on CNN and was challenged on his factually challenged talking points. So he shouted at the host, “Wear an Obama bumper sticker on your forehead when you say that.” Better to find a safe harbour on Hannity where all the softball questions will be framed in a way that allows Sununu to trash the president.

After a number of Nobel Peace Prize winners, including Reverend Desmond Tutu, denounced this show as glorifying war, Fox “News” had to come to its defense. The fact that Todd Palin is in the show is just coincidental.

But still nothing on how some of these guys are connected to Birtherism. And, they are GOP operatives, but have a great answer for that: Waving the flag: YOU! ESS!! EH!!! YOU! ESS!! EH!!! YOU! ESS!! EH!!!

Because Fox “News” can’t push this faux outrage on the misrepresentation of the “chains” comment enough.

Fox “News” will never tell you that frequent talking head Karl Rove (Why isn’t he in jail?) has a SuperPAC that is spending record amounts of money to influence this election.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Prior to Romney choosing Ryan as his VP pick GOP pundits were saying it could be worth an 11-point bounce. When the choice of Ryan didn’t move the needle, now Karl Rove (No, really, why isn’t he in jail?) wants you to believe it’s meaningless.

What a guy!!!

This was the bullshit story of the week. No sources. No confirmation. Cupcakes for everyone!!!

What a guy!!! He’s a hunk!!!

And it’s all Obama’s fault.

Hear that dog whistle? Welfare moms! One silly story in one silly place and Fox “News” elevates it to the national dialogue.

A rare Three-Fer sourced from The Daily Caller, which has proven to be in the tank for Mendacious Mitt. By repeating the story Fox “News” gets to repeat the demonstrably false claims the Navy Seals are making against President Obama, gets to attack Media Matters, and then goes after the tax exempt status of Media Matters for America. I saw them do all of this while discussing this story on air.

That’s all for today, folks. Stay tuned for our next exciting adventure in the Fox “News” Spin Cycle, that spins so fast it’ll make you dizzy.

Bizarro is owned by DC Comics

The Fox “News Spin Cycle is working overtime, which means I am having to work overtime just to keep up with it. You can see how scared Fox “News” is by how furious the SPIN cycle is working to WHITEwash the Romney-Ryan ticket. They must be reading the same polling I am: Their own.

Episode One of this series ran on Monday. Thirty-two hours later there was enough for Episode Two with sixteen entries. Now just 11 hours later, I have enough for Episode Three and I even culled some. If it keeps up at this rate, this could become a full time job.

But, enough about me. Let’s get to the highlights lowlights: It’s all dog whistles, lies, and general weirdness.

Dog whistle: The First Lady had some things to say about Affirmative Action on campus way back then. TWEET!

Bully Boy Bolling’s testosterone-fueled Faux Outrage Machine. Man up? Fox “News” has the franchise on Faux Outrage and soon it will be offering a Buy One, Get One sale. I recommend waiting for the deep discount.

Dog Whistle: Immigrants!!! Be afraid!!! Be very afraid!!! TWEET!

While we all need to condemn violence, this story is a rare-two-fer for Fox “News.” It has Chick-fil-A and a gunman shooting at Conservatives, aka the Family Research Council, which “some people say” is just comprised of intolerant assholes. Immediately Fox “News” jumped into action: Megyn Kelly called this a case of Domestic Terrorism. Yet when a mad gunman shot and killed several people at a Sikh Temple in Colorado, Megyn Kelly hosted Judge Andrew Napolitano who said that shooting WAS NOT Domestic Terrorism. However, he insisted the Fort Hood shooting WAS. Consistency has never been a strong suit of Fox “News” or Libertarian Judge Nap.

Would you be surprised that this was a total distortion of what was said? Me neither.

Remember: It’s only swiftboating if it’s not true. This is swiftboating at its finest.

Bill “Loofah Lad” O’Reilly just had to get into the act.

Why wouldn’t he defend his VP from the Faux Outrage Machine?

Mama Grizzly just had to get in on the act. “Some people say” perpetual victim Sarah Palin invented the Faux Outrage Machine. Patent Pending.

This is the softball interview with Brit Hume, when Pakul Ryan threw Ayn Rand under the bus. He was for her before he was against her. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Ryan without A-Y-N.

More testosterone, trying to make it appear as if Romney actually has some balls. Look at all those CAPITAL LETTERS! It must be true!

Hannity sent out many promotions for his friendly, softball radio interview with Paul Ryan…

…and he gets Ryan to go to the Faux Outrage Machine. Who’s desperate? If this was your big take-away from the interview, Hannity? It must have been dull as hell.

He’s not only buff, but he’s a rainmaker too. REMEMBER: You can’t spell Romney without M-O-N-E-Y.

Another promotion for his softball interview with Brit Hume. I flunked Chemistry.

Wait!!! What??? How did this accurate assessment get loose? Ahhh, I see now. It’s “sad” that women hate the GOP, who want to put a meter on their vaginas. Got it!

I don’t know what to make of this one. Of course it’s a way to slam a Democrat, who had once called herself Bisexual, but now identifies as Pansexual. But, brunette??? What do they have against brunettes? Oh wait! It’s Fox “News” where being blonde almost seems to be a job requirement.

It’s not that difficult for SOME people to prove who they are. This ruloing, unless it’s overturned, is going to create chaos on election day, which is probably what the GOP wants.

You don’t hear much about these Koch suckers on Fox “News.” Here Fox “News” outsourced the job to Newsmax.

And that, dear readers, is Episode Three of The Fox “News” Spin Cycle. If the pace keeps up as it has been, Episode Four will be ready as soon as you finish reading Episode Three.